Chapter 1

Leonardo felt like his reflection in the changing room mirror was telling him 'You won't succeed." The muffled cheers from the crowd above and hustling swimmers behind him did nothing to ease his agitated hands either. Accepting the inevitable failure, Leo stuffed his long dark hair under his tattered swimming cap, checked on his old goggles - still holding out hope that he'll get a new pair on christmas - and feeling each step vividly as he approached the starting block.

The winner of last year’s Medleys ,from Twin Elms, Mike Rodriguez, swaggered by. He was an imposing guy with defined muscles and a cold attitude. Following him was a very bouncy Freshman almost acting like he wanted to ask for an autograph of his idol. Leo was reminded of how he felt as a freshman last year. Grinning like an idiot from the excitement, but then only placing fifth. His team was berating him for his poor performance for weeks.

“Hey there!” a cheery voice called out to him from behind, making him jump a little. “It's Leonard, right? From Camelle High?” he asked, catching up.

“Leo's enough.” he replied. Still startled, he mumbled some semblance of the words: “And... you are?”

“Oh, I’m Adrian. I was in the lane next to you last year.”

“Oh, yeah.” He remembered: ‘He was amazing! While I was failing with my butterfly, he just zoomed right past me with his freestyle and came in second place!’

Adrian continued saying: “I noticed you looking really nervous and I wanted to tell you that I was really looking forward to racing you again. I'm sure you've improved a lot. Just calm down and go with the flow!” He noticed the pun and let out a little chuckle. Leo gave him a sheepish smile back, Adrian’s kind words washed over him and relieved him of some of his anxiety.

As they approached the starting blocks and the full force of the crowd’s cheers hit them. Adrian exclaimed a quick: “Good Luck!”, and went over to the other side of the pool to exchange some words with his team and family.

Leo went up to his block and looked over at the stands. His mom Carol, aunt Kathy and cousin Josh were cheering him on enthusiastically while his team - and classmates were giving their usual chant “C-A-M-E-L-L-E! CAMELLE HIGH GO!” The repetition and high volume only managed to annoy him.

Coach Watanabe’s last-minute advice brought Leo’s focus back to the task before him. ‘I have to put most of my effort into my backstroke, but also preserve my energy for the styles later on… Oof, I just hope I don’t place last.’ he thought.

As the whistle rang through the hall, things quieted down a bit and everyone jumped into the pool, grabbing onto the starting block. Adrian and Mike were positioned next to each other on lanes seven and eight, while Leo had one of the center lanes four. He hoped this slight advantage would help him achieve a good enough time.

“Ready… Set…” BUZZ! The race began.

Good start. Leo was focused on his backstroke, breathing steadily. occasionally checking on the others. Doubt in this chances was still persisting. Nearing the first turn he was close to third place.

First turn. ‘Things are going well.’ he thought, rushing past his neighbor while Adrian and Mike were going head to head at the front.

Second turn. Switch to breaststroke. Small fumble, but nothing to worry about yet. The distance between him and the front runners is increasing more and more.

Third turn. Leo fell back to fourth place, then fifth, exhaustion creeping up on him.

Fourth turn. They were switching over to butterfly. ‘I didn’t preserve my energy well, but I can still do this!’

But then the fifth turn... He couldn’t get close enough to the wall. His rhythm messed up, he took a breath, but swallowed water. Coughing and spitting, he slowed down to a crawl. The crowd was riled up, the life coaches on edge. He kept going, slow and steady, recovering his breath.

Second to last turn: After that mistake, he wanted to play it safe. Leo switched over to backstroke, breathing heavily. He stopped caring that halfway into the lane the winner emerged from the water. He had accepted his defeat.

The crowd’s noise was deafening. Mike had narrowly outmatched Adrian. The contestants emerged from the pool one by one long before Leo did. Coughing up some more water after the final turn he reached the wall, feeling dizzy, exhausted and utterly defeated.

He stumbled away from the pool, wheezing, and took a glance at the scoreboard:

1. Mike Rodriguez: 2:10:36

2. Adrian Holland: 2:10:58

.

.

9. Leonardo Davis: 2:58:19

His team was yelling at him angrily. The coach and the lifeguard were checking on Leo. He nodded, shaking, and walked back towards the changing room. He snapped off his cap and goggles in pain and let his hair fall over his face. ‘If I start crying now at least I can hide the tears from everyone.’

When Leo entered he saw Adrian thrashing his gear into a bag. Leo wanted to avoid everyone currently, especially him, so he looked for a vacated corner. Adrian noticed the downcast Leo at the entrance and his expression shifted, looking at the boy pitifully. Leo slipped behind the lockers so he could dry and change. Preferably quickly as his throat was tight and his lip was quivering.

Leo walked into the main hall and debated if he really wanted to stay until the award ceremony. Before he could decide, his cousin Josh ran up to him.

“Hey buddy. Are you okay?”

Leo answered with a silent “Yeah.” But Josh wrapped his arms tightly around Leo anyway. The shock made him tense up and he almost lost hold over his tears.

“It’s alright. Despite the mistake, you did great in terms of form and your backstroke improved a lot lately!”

‘I still failed. No amount of good form could have saved that disaster.’ Leo’s thoughts were spiraling down deeper and deeper, making him feel worse by the second.

Considering how his friend must feel right now, Josh let him go and asked: “Should I get mom and Carol to drive us home?”

After a short consideration while fidgeting nervously, Leo nodded.

“Okay, we’ll meet you back at the car.” Josh said and jogged back up to the stands.

Leo stepped outside into the cold December air. The final break of the tournament just ended, so many people were walking past him back into the building. Unexpectedly, someone tapped Leo on the shoulder while passing him by and said: “Don’t mind!”

Unfortunately, this shock was the final breaking point for the distraught swimmer. Tears started streaming down his face and a sob escaped him. He tried to hide his burning face, run and hide from all these people surely looking at him, when he bumped into a pair of red trainers.

“Leo?” Adrian’s soft voice reached his red ears, which made him panic even more.

Leo took one glance into this boy’s deep blue eyes filled with sympathy and fled. Adrian cried out: “Wait! You dropped your bag!” But Leo kept running towards the nearby park.

The fatigue of the race made him stop at the lake. Taking painful icy breaths, he slumped down onto the deserted bench. By the time Adrian reached him, he had not been able to stop crying and was shivering heavily.

“Please don’t run. Can we... talk a bit?” He said, setting down two bags and taking a seat next to Leo.

“I know I haven’t seen you often, only once really, but I’d love to get to know you." There was a short pause as Adrian thought about what to say next. "Are you cold? Can I…" He blushed a little. "... Do you need a hug?"

Leo's raging heart felt like it was about to burst. He looked up into the boy's red face and hesitantly scooched over toward his welcoming arms. With slight embarrassment, Adrian gently put his left arm around Leo's icy shoulder. Time slowed down as Adrian’s comforting presence washed over Leo like a soft blanket. His breathing was stabilizing. His red eyes dried up and his sobs got quieter and quieter.

After a very long minute Leo calmed down significantly. So he wiped his face with his jacket, stood up and stuttered: "Thank you for… for the bag… and… being so nice. You did great - in the race, I mean."

"It's alright. Speaking of race though, I should get back to my team." Adrian stood up as well, picked up his bag and handed Leo the other one.

"Yeah, I should get going too, my family is waiting at the car." he replied, as they walked back through the park.

"So you're not staying till the end?"

"There is no reason. No one would really miss me." Leo said downcast. Even though he calmed down, he was still close to falling back into sadness.

Adrian looked at him sympathetically and mumbled: “I would.” Leo made a questioning noise to which Adrian got a little flustered and said: “Nothing! It’s fine! But before you leave, can you promise me to meet up again soon?"

Not expecting this sweet and genuine request Leo stumbled over his words. "Oh, well, I have to do some revisions for school and help my dad with the shed and I'm not sure when I'll be free…" He got more and more nervous, unsure how to reply. They were nearing the edge of the park and Leo thought about a compromise with his schedule. "I, uhm, often hang out at the Café Inco-"

Suddenly, his phone started ringing. He scrambled through his pockets and pulled out his small smartphone to hang up on his impatient aunt. "Sorry, I really have to go now."

"Got it, a Café. It’s a date then!" he smiled brightly and exclaimed "Seeya Leo!"

Leo watched the kind boy jog back toward the pool and gave a little wave back, realizing now that he was smiling again.

"Why did you take to long?! It's freezing out here!" his aunt Kathy nagged.

Leo's mom Carol said quietly to her: "He just needed some time alone." She then turned to her son: "Are you okay sweetie?"

"I'm alright. Let's just get in." He went to the right side of the car and slumped onto the back seat. Josh put Leo’s bag in the trunk because Kathy insisted and afterwards the engine started roaring and the car was rolling.

His aunt was ranting and gossiping like usual, still not done with the story she told on the way to the pool. Leo leaned on the window, desperately trying to focus on anything other than his aunt. Josh pulled out his headphones and offered one to Leo, who gladly took it.

They were enjoying their rocking tunes as Carol's phone rang. "Sorry sis, could you text him back? It's probably Aaron."

After rummaging around in the bag a bit, she found the phone and proceeded to record a voicemail, but was stopped by Carol. "He's still at work, so he can't be too noisy."

As Kathy was texting his dad, something caught Leo's attention. They halted at a stoplight and to his right there was a house. Two young women (he wasn't quite sure if the other was a woman though) were arguing with an angry looking man, presumably their neighbour.

"It's already disgusting that you keep bringing this transvestite into our neighbourhood, but putting this up for all the children to see is just horrid, Holland!"

"Excuse me, that term is really offensive so please don't use it on my girlfriend again. Also how is a rainbow flag harmful to children?" Leo noticed now the flagpole with a gay pride flag boldly blowing in the wind on the front lawn.

"It's a symbol for sinful people! I don't want my children…" He couldn't hear more of the conversation as the stoplight turned green and they drove out of earshot.

Josh listened in on them too and looked annoyed. "I can't believe those people. Their thought process is so twisted! How can they justify those stupid beliefs?" He groaned. Leo gave a small nod.

‘If only I could tell him. He would understand. He wouldn’t be mad or judge me. But maybe he would be mad I didn’t tell him before. What if someone else is there to listen in? I don’t know if the time will ever be right...’ Leo had these kinds of thoughts a lot. He realized he was gay a few years ago, but never felt comfortable enough to tell anyone, even Josh.

A few minutes later they arrived back home. Kathy and Josh lived next door to Leo’s family, so everyone got out of the car and they split up. “Text me if you need me to come over after dinner!” Josh exclaimed and went inside.

“Are you hungry? There’s still some leftover pasta from yesterday.” Carol asked Leo after he unpacked his bag.

“Na, leave it for dad. I’ll just grab some waffles for now.” he answered and grabbed the treat out of the cupboard before making his way upstairs to his room. Before flopping down onto his bed, he lazily changed into his comfy clothes. After that, he was just lying around for some minutes, letting his thoughts run wild, trying to process everything that happened today.

‘Maybe I should bail practice on tuesday. Everyone’s just gonna barrate me for my awful performance. I mean who could blame them for thinking like that. If I skip this week, maybe they’ll have cooled down by next week. Oh no, Derrek is in english class on Monday. I can’t skip that, it’ll just get me in more trouble! No, I can’t avoid them. I have to face my team.’

‘Adrian… I can’t believe how sweet he was to me. He went out of his way to comfort me… And he said he wanted to see me again… “A Café, it’s a date then!” huh… Oh, I couldn't even tell him which café, much less when I’d be-’

‘Wait, “it’s a date then?!” But… he couldn’t be. He’s so handsome I’m sure he has a girlfriend. He was just nice to me in a friend kinda way, right? That’s why he said “I’d love to get to know you.” Just friends - Oh my god, I think that douchey neighbour called the woman Holland. Was that… COuld that have been... his house? And his... sister? The pride flag- maybe they’re just supportive. No no no, I’m jumping to conclusions here. Maybe I heard him wrong or it’s just a coincidence that they have the same last name.’

Leo groaned. “It’s no use! I have to distract myself!” He stood up and grabbed his sketchbook. Sitting down on his desk chair with his feet on an improvised foot stool, he flipped through to look for an unfinished drawing. There were still some details missing from the drawing of Lord Seth Hardok, a character made by Josh.

Leo loved drawing Josh’s characters and wanted to adapt his unfinished short story into a comic once Josh was ready. In preparation, Leo drew concept art for all the characters and some backgrounds, though he wasn’t quite satisfied with most of them yet.

After he finished the drawing, he checked his cell phone. There was still some time left till supper, so he thought about what he could sketch in the meantime. There was one thought that he couldn’t shake: Adrian. He steamed in embarrassment for a while, going back and forth if this was appropriate. In the end, he decided against it, turning on his PC instead.

The rest of this emotionally straining day went by uneventfully, except for the slightly awkward conversation about his race when his dad came home from work.

Leo went to bed early and didn’t even have time to put on some music before falling asleep. It has been a tiring day.