I wake up in my furs, which are now stained with blood and tears. Shortly after I broke down, I started to cut my thighs again. It has been a coping method I used for years. Being a werewolf, I heal fast, so it doesn’t leave scars. The blood is dried on the cuts, but today I think I went a little too deep on one. I can see very clearly that the scar is forming. I must have hit a main vain in all my despair of losing the two people I wanted to be closest to. I suddenly hear car doors slamming and feet running towards the cave up the path. I smell their scents way before they reach the entrance. Their scents are laced with distress and hope at the same time. They can’t see me like this. What would I look like as an alpha with tears stained on my face and blood on my thighs?!

 I slip into a hiding spot that has water in it so I know it will mask my scent on where I’ve gone. They finally reach the mouth of the cave and I can hear Zayn scream, “Azazel! We came back and we need to talk!” I cower deeper into my hiding spot. How could I be stupid enough to think they would want to be my friend? I am sure now they have come to question me like everyone else and shun me as well. “Zayn, do you smell that?” I hear Xavier whisper in the quiet cave. “Yes, it smells like blood. And I don’t see Azazel! Oh goddess! I hope he is okay!” I hear Zayn start to whimper. 

 The padding of their feet sounds like it is heading for the furs. And I hear them gasp. “Xavier…. There… there is so much blood in the furs! Where is Azazel?! Do you think he got attacked?! Maybe he needs our help! What do we do?! We need to find him!” Zayn is panicking and I can hear Xavier grab him and pull him close as he starts to sob. “Shhhh…. it’s okay. I’m sure he’s fine… we will find him…,” he gets quiet for a moment, “what’s that that’s shinning near the bed?” ‘Shit!’ I think to myself. ‘I must have left my blade there! Fuck fuck fuck!’ “That…. that’s a blade… but why is it covered with b-b-blood?!” Zayn says, barley a whisper. “Oh no. No no no. Don’t tell me…. This is all his blood… he did this to himself… we have to find him Zayn, and now!” Xavier has panic in his voice now. I hear their feet hurrying around the cave. I let out a slow deep breath to try not to trigger them to my location, but unfortunately, the odds aren’t in my favor.

 From where I am hiding, I can see Zayn’s ears perk up and he looked in this direction. I tried to shrink as far into the hole as I could but having a rather large build makes that difficult to do. “Xavier, I think I found him!” Zayn yells as he is running to where I am hiding. 

 ‘Please go away. Please don’t come to me. You will only make this harder for me. You will only make me want to be with the two of you more’, I think as I still try to make myself smaller. 

 Zayn pokes his head into my hiding hole, and I can see faint tear lines on his face. “Azazel…. what happened? What did you do? Please come out. Come speak with us,” Zayn pleads with me as new tears start to run down his face. Xavier’s head soon appears above Zayn as he looks at me. I look from one face to the other as I try to hold in my tears. I look down, feeling the tears start to slowly travel down my face. Suddenly, a hand reaches out to me and I jump. I try to back away, but I am as far in my hiding spot as I can go. I am terrified of what they think of me now. Surely, they must hate me. They must be like everyone else and want me dead. They must want to tell me that they never want to see me again, to yell at me for something they have no clue about. I feel small arms circle my waist as I cry. I didn’t even realize Zayn had crawled into the spot with me and that he is now hugging me and crying just as hard as I am. Xavier is still standing at the door, watching us. I see a few tears slide down his cheeks as well. “Azazel…. why? Why are you hiding from us? What did we do wrong?” Xavier chokes out as he watches us. My head shoots up so that I am fully facing him. “You did nothing wrong!” I blurt out. I lower my voice before I say, “It’s not you. It’s me. I am disgusting. I shouldn’t have talked to either of you. I should not have brought the burden that is myself into your life.” “DON’T SAY THAT!” Zayn shouts at me, “DON’T YOU EVER SAY THAT YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT OR DO NOT DESERVE FRIENDS OR LOVE OR ANY OF THAT! DO NOT EVER TALK DOWN ON YOURSELF! EVER AZAZEL!” I look down at him, completely stunned. He continues in a softer voice, “You are amazing. You help people when you think no one is looking. You are smart and sensitive. You are hot as hell…” His voice drops to a whisper and he looks away from me, “And although you bullied me and seriously hurt my feeling, I always kind of liked you.” Zayn started to blush profusely. I stared at him in shock, as did Xavier. “Okay, I cannot fit in to this hole too, and I want in on the hugging action,” Xavier whined as he tried to coax us out of my hiding place. Zayn let go of me and crawled out to meet Xavier. I still just stared at them from the door of where I was hiding. I didn’t want to come out. I was embarrassed. I had a gash in my thigh that I had caused myself and I went too deep so it was still bleeding. I didn’t want them to see how red and puffy my eyes are from crying. I don’t want them to see me in such a weak state. 

 Soon, I felt hands wrap around my arm and start to pull me from my spot. I yelp in surprise, but before I could react I was in Xavier’s arms, bridal style, and he was carrying me out to the lake up front. When we were outside at the lake, he set me on the edge of the lake as he got into the water. Zayn sat behind me with his arms wrapped around my chest. Xavier spread my legs and examined the cuts I had all along my thigh. Some had dried blood, some fresh from me running to hide. I tried to close my legs so they couldn’t see, but Xavier stopped me. I could feel Zayn sobbing against my back as I felt Xavier slowly pour water over my leg to start washing off the blood that was there. “Why would you do this to yourself?” He asked me. I didn’t want to answer his question so I looked away from him, only to feel his hand reach under my chin to turn me back facing him. “Please Azazel, tell me why you did this? Why would you harm yourself instead of talking to us? If I’m being honest, you have caught my eye for a while and like Zayn, I have always kind of liked you. So I want to know why,” Xavier said, with evident pain in his voice at the damage I have done to myself.

 I opened and closed my mouth a few times before looking down at my hands that I was squeezing together in my lap. “Why are you guys here?” I whispered. ‘Don’t you hate me?’ I thought to myself. I felt Zayn lift his face from my back, “We heard our parents version of your story and we are both very concerned Azazel. Why didn’t you tell us about any of it?” I sighed and squeezed my hands tighter as Xavier cleaned my thighs. “That isn’t something I just mention the moment I meet people. The entire town despises me, so why don’t you guys?” I asked them hesitantly. Xavier stopped what he was doing and made me look at him. “We both told you we like you, I understand we don’t know if one of us will be Zayn’s mate or not, but we can at least still be friends. Plus we wouldn’t not be your friend from hearing someone else’s side of the story. We want to hear what really happened,” he finishes saying. And as he is still looking in my eyes, he sinks a little lower in the water and does something I do not expect. He licks my wounds to heal them. I try to stifle a moan, but I can tell Zayn felt it rumbling in my chest because he started to kiss the back of my neck. I groan and take a deep breath. Letting out the air I say, 

 “Okay fine. I’ll tell you my story from the beginning, but please…. Since you came looking for me… please don’t run away.”