I stood in numb silence as Em prattled on and on. I was dazed; not registering a single word of what she said. She hung up, and I turned to Mark.
"It's not good," I sighed, "but I am determined to make the best of it."
"Can you come here, please?" he asked.
I looked at him, puzzled, "What is it?"
I seated myself next to him and searched his face for the answer. He enveloped me with his arms, clinging to me so tightly we could have become siamese twins in the next second. I tensed for a moment, then relaxed against him. I felt the ragged rise and fall of his chest. I felt droplets hitting my hair. My ears picked up a stifled cry. My heart broke.
I wiggled away from him, and snatched a blanket. I wrapped us into a blanket burrito, and held him tight. I kissed his forehead. My shirt mopped up his tears. I stroked his hair as he leaned against my shoulder.
I was seething with rage; indignant that Angela would feel she was owed anything simply because of money spent. She was no better than the guys who felt I owed them sex because they bought me a drink. No better than a parent insisting their kids owe them, because they made so many sacrifices. I dared to hope that she would return him to the lab. Because I had long since begun to entertain the thought of having him for myself.
But what if he had already been through too much, and he didn't want to come back here? He could have changed his mind, he might not like me anymore. It felt selfish to wish Angela would return him, that he would have to go through her inhuman treatment, just so I could have him here with me.
"Mark, I need to ask you something."
"Anything," his voice was shaking.
"I am being completely serious when I say this," I took in a deep breath, "How would you feel about being with me; here, in my house? I know it is still close to Angela's, which would be weird, so maybe we could move one day, and-"
He looked up at me suddenly, which startled me. His eyes were watering, like he was about to cry again.
"I'm so sorry, this doesn't seem like the right time to ask you," I wiped a falling tear from his face.
"You have no idea how long I have hoped you would want me," his voice was not shaky anymore, "Because I have liked you since the second I first saw you."
"Of course I want you," I confessed, "Just now, I was thinking how selfish it was for me to want you for myself, without even considering how you felt about it. I maybe you had been through enough."
"I've been through way too much and I'm ready for it to be over. But it's not going to change how I feel about you."
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