I thought about getting to know others and so I went off to talk to taken and single ladies. I felt like I wanted to be in a relationship with someone. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t that type of douche bag in school but I loved to hang out with all different types of people. I wanted to know the difference between the single and taken girls. I hung out with mostly jocks because I played and was into sports just like them. That’s probably why whenever I ask someone if they knew my hobbies, they wouldn’t know because I made it seem I was nearly interested in everything that I was involved in. A couple months into sophomore year, there was this school activity which was called homecoming dance. I thought about going to meet new people because it was a school dance and a good way to meet new people! I found out that my group of jock friends are going to the dance. I wanted to go with someone but I told myself just go with the group so you don’t have to feel lonely. A few days before the dance, my friends and I got invited to another friend’s house for a “get-together group party” and her name was Andrea. So, in the end, this works out perfectly! Everyone should be in a group if they don’t want to feel lonely, right? So yeah, my friends and I went there and I noticed that one girl from my math class was there who laughed and giggled at me whenever I got yelled at by the teacher. I was astonished when I seen her at the house. There was a total of nine girls and eight guys in the group not including me. Me and a few of my friends were in the living room talking about football but then I heard three girls by the kitchen doorway saying “oh he’s cute” so I turned around looking at them and those three girls walked into the kitchen ignoring that whole scene. I thought to myself “oh I don’t think I’m cute at all, probably talking about one of my friends.” Half an hour later, we all went in the backyard and ate burgers, hot dogs, nachos, and then took group pictures before we left to the dance. It was a blast I would say, everyone introduced their names to each other and that’s the night when I finally found out her name. Her name was Sophia. I kept her name on my mind for that whole night because I finally found out her name after all this time. After when everyone ate food, we took two cars to the school and talking to each other how fun this will be. The dance I would say was okay, it was much worth experiencing though. I was still a shy boy at the time and was scared to dance honestly. I feared what people would say if I danced or not so I danced a little less than half the time. I was thinking of dancing with a girl from the group that we came with but all I seen was all the girls dancing with each other and I was too scared to even ask to dance for one song. I’ve noticed it’s only fun if you put your effort of having fun, you control your own happiness. After the dance, everyone went back to the house. Half of us slept over and watched a movie, and the other half had to leave and go home. The way everyone slept was on the entire living room floor but a few sleeping on the couches. It was about ten of us so it wasn’t that bad. I was one of the first ones to go to sleep and I was scared if my friends would do something to me or not because they usually do. So later that night, it seemed like everyone fell asleep when the movie was half way through of being done. Morning came and I left with one of my friends. We all said “bye, see you at school on Monday” to one another but one thing was missing. I didn’t see Sophia. She wasn’t there because I passed out so fast that I didn’t realize she didn’t sleep over at Andrea’s house. Sophia was on my mind for that following week but we didn’t have any contact with each other for a good three months. So then, I proceeded to talk with other girls in the school. There was another dance that came up in February which was called a sweetheart’s dance. I had the guts to ask a girl to the dance and she said yes! I felt like I wanted to continue to do things with her after the sweetheart’s dance but I found out she was talking with both of my two best friends. I was disappointed because she went with me but still proceeded to talk with two of my best pals. I told my friend “yeah go ahead, I don’t want to mess with anything that I can’t control.” Even until this day, she admits it was one of the best school dances that she ever went to. I knew it was going to be a bad idea if I tried to continue this friendship so I left because I didn’t want to deal with it in the future and I didn't want to lose my best friends over a girl. I felt like I needed a break from talking with girls so I didn’t try to attempt to be in a relationship, just trying to be friends with everyone the rest of sophomore year. Near the end of the school year I found myself trying to get to know Sophia because she was one of the girls that caught my attention when I arrived at the school. I remember one time I was asking her questions through direct messages on social media. She’ll answer them but I don’t think she got the point where I liked her. I did admit to her that I had a crush and she was encouraging me saying “you guys are going to fall in love.” I responded, “you’re just saying that.” She responded back “well I don’t know who it is so I couldn’t say. But I have hope for you.” I hoped that Sophia would realize I was talking about her the whole time but she never got the message. Sophia did give me a nickname and it was Navs. I thought it was weird because only my little cousin used to call me that but now my crush said that to me? I was fulfilled with so many thoughts. Later that week, everyone that was my friend called me that. From that day, I’ve been using that nickname ever since. Anyways, it was near the end of school year and I gave up. I didn’t think straight, my thoughts were flowing everywhere, and I wouldn’t see her as much because I don’t have a car or anything. I was sixteen years old and obviously, I can’t afford a car. That’s how unfocused my mind was. So, basically my friendship with Sophia was mutual. When school ended during my sophomore year, I just hung out with my old friends and waited until school started again. The beginning of Junior year, I did send her a message but it was nothing, just a normal conversation. When I realized, it was just a casual conversation with Sophia, that’s when I tried having a connection with other several girls. The ones I chose to talk with were all different types. I felt like I wanted to be in a relationship at that very moment. One girl that I chatted with, she was an outgoing type of person, all touchy gooey. I liked her but I didn’t like her that much. We did exchange homework during the school year and went onto each other’s phones but she was just a friend to me. Not judging at all but it just wasn’t my preference and I felt like it was too much “touchy” and we weren’t even going out! Another girl I talked with, she was one of the most chilled and quiet girls I know probably until this day too but I’m not 100% sure about that. Then I found out she smoked weed many times a week and that’s probably why she was so relaxed whenever we seen each other. I may be assuming but I knew she smoked weed. I never smoked weed nor haven’t until this day so I didn’t like her as much, just another friend to chat with. I think it’s a useless way to spend your money on weed in my opinion but everyone has their reasons. The last girl I talked with within the two-month span, her name was Karla. I liked her for a few months and I noticed something about her that she kept everything a secret until she wanted to show that specific “thing” out to the public. Karla had something about her that made me interested. We did have something going on but I took too long and she went for a guy who asked her to the upcoming school dance so that leaves me hanging. I was still shy at the time and that’s why I “took” to long. I didn’t feel bad but I felt a little sad in the inside because I wanted to go to that upcoming dance with her. I knew I took too long because I didn’t have the guts to ask her for a full month. The month before the dance, I remember I put a rose inside my backpack. It was a Monday and I’m telling myself in my head “okay today is the day.” When I seen Karla at her locker, she had two friends beside her so I didn’t give her the rose that day. I had a feeling that I would be shut down in front of Karla’s friends. The next day I repeated the same thing but she wasn’t there at that specific time I usually see her so Tuesday was a no show. Later within the week on Friday, I had the guts to ask her. I went to the bathroom looked at myself “you can do it.” The moment when I had the courage to get the rose in my backpack and open the bathroom door to approach her… I grabbed the rose and it was all bent and made a few holes in the backpack from the thorns. I realize time told me that I took too long and so therefore I didn’t ask Karla in time. I had the biggest urge to go to the dance too but I ended up not going because I didn’t want to see her and the guy together. I told myself I didn’t want to go to the dance. I just proceeded to relax and made more friends throughout the whole Junior school year. I felt it was going to be useless if I tried to be in a relationship near the end and I never been in a “real” one before. It was also the last two months so I decided not to mess with one at the time and I was looking forward to my birthday in the summer.