I hate Halloween.

In fact, I hate all of October.

Why, you ask? Is it the weather? No. I actually like the weather. I like watching the leaves turn bright red and orange. I like seeing skeleton trees reach their twisted branches toward a starry sky. I even like the deepening cold and the longer nights. I didn’t used to, but I suppose it’s a part of my nature now.

No. What I don’t like about October is how busy it is!

For most of the year, people could honestly care less about what I and my brethren do. Oh, sure. You get the odd spike in the summer because all the kids are on summer vacation. And there’s generally a spike in the winter because people need things to keep them entertained. But the rest of the time? Hardly a whisper.

Then October rolls around and the proverbial phone is ringing off the hook!

Not that we have a phone, really. It’s more of a metaphor. But you see what I’m saying.

Calls come in from everywhere. Old people. Young people. People in between. Seems everyone wants a piece of us come October. Not that they seem to care much even when we do show up. I mean, we try our best to accommodate as many requests as possible, but not even we can be everywhere at once.

And when we do fly to their sides, do we get a word of thanks? I ask you. No. We do not. They act like we’re invisible, like they can’t even hear us when they’re the ones who called us in the first place! Rude. Insensitive. We have feelings too, you know. And it’s not like we don’t have other places to be.

Oh, and do you want to know the real kicker?

Now, in our busiest time of the year, in my hour of need, one of my best men says he can’t come in. Says he got exorcized.

Exorcized!

Really? In this day and age? People hardly even believe in ghosts now! In spite of their ouija boards and ghost hunting shows and online mediums and what have you.

Exorcized, indeed.

Besides, we have medical for that kind of thing now.

And I know he hasn’t had a season off in a hundred years, but I swear he’s faking it just to make my afterlife miserable.

Honestly! October!