My heart was a thundering mess as I stood at the top of the steps debating going down them. I’d really screwed myself this time, hadn’t I? Why did I have to choose then to get all choked up…? I was cursing softly to myself as I heard a creak at the bottom of the stairs.

“Can I face him again…?” Starburst sighed softly as I started my way down.

“Face who again?” I didn’t want to hear him say it. For him to tell me that I was the problem. That the person that was making him so anxious was me.

“How many times have I told you to hold the rail while you’re coming down the stairs?” He avoided my question as he glared at the floor, “How did you get by without someone taking care of you before I came?”

“Starburst…” I said carefully as I took the steps one at a time. If I wasn’t careful the cat was going to run away from me. Hell, even if I was careful, he might run away, but I can’t… “Why didn’t you answer my question?” This was far too direct, wasn’t it? All of my guilt spread to my face, “This is because of…” Because I’m such a mess who couldn’t even tell you what you need to hear when it matters the most.

“It’s nothing!” He put in forcefully as he jerked around, “It’s time for me to go. I don’t want to be late.”

Shit, not yet! “Can’t we just talk really quick!” Please, just not yet…! I came behind the ginger-haired boy's fingers shaking as they hovered just behind his wrist, “I just want you to listen to what I have to say.”

“I said I had to leave, didn’t I?!?” Starburst snapped back causing my face to drop and my shoulders to droop as I gave up. As usual, he really regrets talking to me, doesn’t he? “Whatever it is will have to wait until I come back.” He turned back to me for a short moment meeting my sullen eyes before returning his back to me, “Goodbye, Onyx.”

The door slammed behind him as I slowly slumped to the stairs placing my head in my hands, “Onyx, you really don’t know how to romance, do you…?” I found my way to the bedroom burying myself in the sheets as I suppressed the urge to cry. Why do I have to be such an idiot sometimes…?

. . .

“Mmmm…” I groaned rolling over and grabbing my phone as it buzzed uncontrollably. With a glance up I noticed it was still light outside, It’s Starburst…?

“Hey… Onyx…” The cat’s voice was soft through the receiver as I strained to hear, “Sorry, for the short notice, but I really can’t make it in tonight… Will you be okay for tonight?” He asked as my heart fell nearly to my knees.

“Yeah, that fine…” I murmured trying and most certainly failing to hide the disappointment, Wait a second… “But are you okay?” I asked desperately already starting to nibble nervously at my fingernails, “You’re not sick, are you?! You live alone so…?"

“I’m fine.” Starburst reassured me with little emotion to his voice, “Just a… Um… Personal emergency…”

“Oh… Well…” I mumbled with a relieved breath as I settled into the pillow. Why did this conversation have to end so soon? Especially when I didn’t know when I’d be able to see him again was… “I hope everything goes well for you…!” And, me too…

“Right…”

. . .

“Hey, you lazy ass!” Anthony kicked open the bedroom door as I gave him a glare, “Is there any reason why you haven’t done the washing up or done the laundry…?”

“Starburst hasn’t been here…” It’d been a week since the catboy had been by and to say that I was a mess was putting it mildly, “What do you want from me coming so early in the evening…?”

“What do you think?!?” The man shook his head disgracefully as he dragged me from the bed, “How did you manage that in a week…?” He huffed with another shake of his head, “Either get that kitten back here or find another caretaker… This place is awful…!”

“Hmph… Coming from the one who always complains about him.” I huffed as I sat in my office pressing the power button to the desktop, “If you really respect him that much you should show it instead of pestering him all the time…”

“I don’t respect him.” The editor scowled peering over my shoulder as the computer turned on, “My point is that you’re completely hopeless without someone else here…”

“I’m hungry,” I interjected as I paced off to stairs and then to the fridge, Hmm, this is the last one… I thought absentmindedly as I took a partition of blood from the fridge, Guess I’ll have to go to the store… By myself…

“What’s taking so long…?” The editor tapped my shoulder from behind as I started my way back to the office, “You’re out of coffee, ya know… After I leave please go out and do something normal for once…”