“Oh my god, King, is that you?”

“You can call me Danyel if you like.” He moved nearer, turning on his side so that Hayes could feel the heat emanating from his body, but stopping just millimetres short of touching him. “I know I said that it wasn’t up to me to tell you if you’re an om or not, but I thought I might be able to help you make up your mind.”

“What are you doing?” Hayes voice sounded hoarse and scratchy, even to himself.

“Well that’s up to you. I can stay here with you for a while—or I can go. I’ll let you decide.”

The Captain lay there for a minute trying to make himself tell Danyel he had to go, he couldn’t do this. But his hand reached out as if it had a mind of its own and stroked the side of Danyel’s face.

Then it continued on down to his shoulder, sliding over his smooth chest, his flank, down to the warm curve of his hip. His bare hip. His heart went into instant overdrive when he realised Danyel was totally naked. He grappled to find the last shred of integrity left inside and forced himself to say, “It won’t change anything. I won’t acknowledge you. I’ll still pretend nothing happened between us. Are you sure you want to let me do this?” His hands were already caressing him, not even waiting for his reply. “If you want to go, for god’s sake go now!”

Danyel lay back under him. “I’ll stay.”

Later, when their heartbeats had almost returned to normal, Hayes turned to him. “I’m sorry, Danyel. I know I’m being really unfair to you but I need you to leave.”

Well what had he expected? That afterwards everything would have changed? The Captain would suddenly admit he was an om and that he wanted Danyel instead of Fiona? No, he hadn’t expected that... he had just hoped. He had served himself up to the Captain on a plate; he could hardly complain when he took advantage, but he had hoped...

Danyel sighed and got out of bed. “It’s all right, I knew what I was doing.” He dressed silently in the dark. As he went to the door, he turned and asked in a low voice, “Just one thing, Simon. When you make love, do you pretend I’m her or that she is me?”

He went back to his own quarters. What was wrong with him? It seemed he was making a habit at throwing himself at senior officers, only to be rejected.

He remembered how he had made a heavy pass at First Lieutenant Ferris on the Jerez, despite being told that the Lieutenant never had relationships with anyone on the same ship. He had followed him into the shower and offered himself as plainly as he could, but Ferris had stuck to his principles and turned him down. True, Ferris had admitted that if they’d been anywhere else he would have been after him fast enough to make his head spin, but he’d still sent him away. At least though, he could respect the reasons behind the Lieutenant’s decision, even if he hadn’t wholly agreed with him.

Maybe next time he fancied someone he should play harder to get. But surely sex was such a simple thing. You liked someone, checked that they liked you and then you came right out with it. What was hard about that? Instead he kept falling for intense, complicated men who had to make a big deal of it. Thank god he hadn’t fallen in love with either of them, or he’d be setting himself up for some serious pain. Yeah, he should keep telling himself that.

(Author's Note - if you'd like to read more about Danyel and Matthew Ferris, you can find them in my story Rough Play, which is also here on Tapas)