Volume 4 Chapter 2: Mud Wheat Saloon
Dark Side had several bars, in which alcohol is served. Mostly beer and whiskey.
One such bar is the Mud Wheat Saloon, it was a town classic and would always be packed. However, only the toughest of drinkers would be able to handle the drinks of the Saloon. One such individual was Beer Beard.
He was a regular at the bar. Mike and Frank carried him here after he's been knocked out and poured beer into his throat, and then went home. Beer Beard recovered from his unconsciousness and was now drinking alone.
"Dammit! That lil girl must have been the one on the news with Bottle!"
[Gulp Gulp Gulp] [Ahhh..] After taking a drink he reached for his back.
Beer Beard rubbed his back, which was bruised from the revolver's attack. However as his luck would have it, his back didn't snap in half and only bruised.
"Just you wait Bottle, you and that lil girl will be under MY BOOT!"
[Creak]
Just as he said that 3 individuals came into the bar. He recognized two of the three people.
(Bottle.... Why is Bottle here?...)
Nobody else seems to have noticed them, which struck Beer Beard with confusion. He rubbed his eyes to see if he was dreaming however Bottle didn't disappear.
He knew that the entire city was out for the hunt of General J. Bottle, even the people inside this bar would pull out their weapons right now and attack him if they knew.
"W... W... What?" Beer Beard wanted to get up and call Bottle out, however he feared that this was his drunken imagination and merely observed some more.
"Bwttle this place stinks!"
"Heh, you'll get used to it once you grow up."
Bottle, Gesus, and the lieutenant sat at the main bar. The bartender approached them, "Al'ight, Your Order..."
"Coke'a Cola and juice for the kid."
The bartender looked at them as if he misheard, the other people in the bar also took notice. And the bar immediately fell silent. During this time one must tread very carefully in order to not cause a ruckus.
The lieutenant tried to dissolve the situation, "Ah, hm! Sorry for my friend here, what he meant to say was..."
"I wat Kola TOO!" Gesus puffed up her cheeks like a puffer fish in retaliation.
The bartender dropped the glass he was cleaning, shattering it on the ground. The people in the bar were scared as they knew not to mess with the bartender.
"Ye Got 2 Choices, Leave In a Body Bag oh Drinc Da Mud."
The people in the bar backed away a little after they heard that. The Mud Wheat Saloon's specialty was Da Mud, it was 100 percent pure alcohol. However, the drink itself was very strange, the liquid had a strange texture like honey, and it would occasionally bubble like a tar pit warning its next victims.
It has killed as many as its drinkers. The bartender would carve the names of anyone who was able to drink more than half of the drink onto the wall. And to this day only one name showed, Leslie Missouri
"Oily, One Person Lived To Tell Ye Tale Of Da Mud."
The bartender took out a full glass of Da Mud, immediately people with in the bar moved in an almost trained manner.
"OPEN DA DOORS AND DA WINDOWS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! " But it was already too late, the smell like exploded throughout the room immediately knocking out several weak drinkers.
"Drink N Earn My Respect, O'Leave Or I'll Carver. Ye Up And Hang Ye on My Wall."
"It stinky!" Gesus covered her nose, It was remarkable she withstood the smell the way she did.
General Bottle on the other hand was on the brink of throwing up, while the lieutenant covered his mouth with cloth, but at the same time both their eyes were watery.
"D... D... Dam you Bottle, If it w..w..weren't for you!"
"Lieutenant, as General I order you to drink it."
"Bullshit.. Shouldn't the General lead as an example?"
"Hey, hey, a General is a tacitican for the first and foremost."
"And yet you fought in the front lines and lead the charges."
"Alright how about this, we'll split the drink and drink it equally."
"Oh wow, what a great tactic, [hm] fine!" The lieutenant was not amused and slumped in his chair.
"Mr. Bartender can you split this to the three of us equally?"
"I'ght Sure."
"Bottle?"
"What now?"
"Why the hell did you tell him to give Gesus have a glass?"
"If you insistent than drink my share too."
"Don't play dumb! You purposefully gave her some in order to drink less!"
"Relax, I'm merely showing this kid my utmost respect."
"Bullshit!"
"Relax, she's malnourished so I'm giving her something to drink."
"Bullshit!"
The lieutenant grabbed Bottle's collar and pulled him up, "You realize we're in this mess exactly because of you?"
"Quick! Gesus pour the glass into this bastard's mouth!"
"Don't listen to em kid!"
The people that were still conscious at the bar that are witnessing the scene and started to chant.
"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" 10x
"USE DA CHAIR!"
Through the chaos one man rose above the rest, with his afro jiggling and intoxicated Beer Beard stood up and stumbled his way to General Bottle and the lieutenant.
His hands turned into fisticuffs and he was prepared to fight, "AH, Ye... I'MA... SMack... Y.. DED!"
He swung with his right arm as fast as he could and struck Bottle's face! Bottle was flung and crashed into a table.
"HAh.. I... ye... .. NOW!!"
However this was only Beer Beards imagination.
Even though the punch itself was very slow, the toxic fumes of Da Mud has given everyone a slight dose of alcohol, which has drugged everyone to perceive the punch as actually being powerful.
In other words the punch was slow and pathetic, however people saw it as a genuine punch. It didn't do any damage at all, however it did provide the means for what would happen next.
The people who watched this understood what this meant. The most vigilant of the customers quickly fled the bar.
"MUDDD FIGHTTTT!!!" 10x
After chugging down the last drop of ale they beat each other senseless. While others grabbed the chairs and slammed it onto the heads of others.
The bartender seeing the chaos unfold quickly jumped at the center of the bar, he kicked and threw people out of the bar as far as he could. However as soon as they were out of the bar they would just as quickly rush back in.
General Bottle, Gesus, and the Lieutenant used the chaos as a smoke screen and snuck their way into the back door of the bar.
Behind them they could hear the scream of one man, "DAM YE BASTARDS! WHEN I'M DONE Y'ES GOOD AS DEAD!"
The Lieutenant guided Bottle and Gesus to the beer cellar. They found a tunnel that was covered up. After cutting it down they all went into it.
"Whoa... IS SO SHINY!"
The room they were in was a giant cube like structure. All the walls were pristine and appeared to be made out of solid steel, in fact the walls themselves seems to have been properly cleaned and maintained.
Right in front of them they could see a massive door of sorts that could reach the ceilings. The door didn't have any handles or knobs which has made it rather peculiar. The odder thing about the door was that on the bottom there was an even smaller door that was perfect for human use.
The lieutenant walked around the room and touched and observed the walls, "It's... strange... this place looks too... clean.?"
Gesus and Bottle walked toward the wall. Upon getting closer to the door the entire room turned red, and the door behind the shut closed.
"?!?" 3x
The door spoke, and like a machine, the voice was cold and emotionless, "He who seeks thee Warden's Vault... Must feed me a knowledge of three!"
"If thee fails, then suffer thee fate worse than learning chinese."
A panel on the floor lit green, "Step forward upon thee green block and prepare thee for me fee."
"Lieutenant! What the hell is this thing?"
The lieutenant rushed and caught up with Bottle and Gesus, "This.. should be the guardian of the vault. That damned Kasker probably installed this as a safety mechanism."
"Well then I doubt you want me to act before you again lieutenant, so this time you should go first."
"Like Hell I Will! Besides I don't even know what the questions are."
General Bottle scratched his head and noticed Gesus, "Alright, kid your up."
Gesus looked at Bottle in confusion, "?"
"Don't worry kid this is a... 'game' you win and you get an award."
"RELLY? WAT IS IT?"
"You can only find out if you win otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise."
"Okey!"
Gesus, happy to be of service jumped onto the green block. The green block sank a little into the ground, like a pressure plate it activated some gears behind the steel walls.
"You make me sick Bottle."
Bottle pulled out a silver case in it was several cigars neatly placed. He picked out the far left one and lit it. [Huff~]
"Let it be known that my promise to her was to find her mother, with or without her. Besides it's exactly because I'm able to make these kinds of decisions without hesitation that I'm able to lead my men into victory."
[Sigh] "And here I thought you would've changed by now."
A blue ray scanned Gesus like a printer. Afterwards the door spoke.
"Answer thee question of three that I ask, and then thee may enter the Warden's Vault."
"Okie!"
"What is thee name?"
"Gesus Grist!"
"What do thee seek?"
"MY MOM!"
"What is thee worst fear?"
"Hmm... I don know? Maybe not finding my mom?"
"You have fed me thee knowledge that I seek, thee may enter the Warden's Vault."
"YAY!"
The mini door opened, and Gesus walked through it. The door immediately closed afterwards.
"That's bullshit, even I could do that!" The lieutenant walked up to the green tile and the door spoke.
"Answer thee question of three that I ask, and then thee may..."
"Bla, Bla! Hurry up I don't have all day!"
"What is thee mass of the earth?"
"... What?"
A tile right behind the green tile opened up and a robotic hand came out holding a cup of ice water.
"?" 2x
The hand poured the water on the lieutenant.
"AHHHHHHHHhhhhHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL!" The lieutenant jumped onto the ground and rolled in pain.
"Hmm... interesting... don't worry lieutenant your sacrifice won't be in vain."
Bottle stepped onto tile and the door spoke.
"Answer thee question of three that I ask, and then thee may enter the Warden's Vault."
[Huff~] "Alright bring it."
"What is do thee seek?"
"Coke'a Cola"
"... you lie..."
Bottle quickly turned expecting the same cup of ice water to appear and it did. Bottle then grabbed the lieutenant who was lying on the ground and used him as a shield against the ice water.
"COLD!! COLD!!! COLD!!! AHHHHHhHhhH!" The lieutenant wanted to punch Bottle, however his body was too cold so be sat holding his knees in a fetal position to keep himself warm.
[Huff~] "Hmm.. I think I get it, alright lieutenant, I'ma need you for this next part."
......................................................................................................................
Gesus while inside the vault found many weapons, swords, guns, cannons, tanks, and even the remnants of some sort of super weapons. The place was dimly lit, however there seemed to be some sort of structure on how the weapons were placed. The swords would have their own little section and the guns would also have their own corner, etc and etc.
The most interesting thing that she noticed was the smell. Rather than gunpowder and steel she thought she smelled some sort of food.
She followed it and found a small room which had light shining out the window. She peeked inside and saw multiple computer screens, on the desk was a cup of ramen and a person sitting on a chair.
[Nom] [Nom] [Nom] [Gulp] "Ha! Those idiots, they think they can charge me?"
The man pressed several buttons a pulled and a leaver. From a giant tube the voices of Bottle and the lieutenant could be heard. "AHHHHHAHAHHH" 2x
The man then proceeded to press a button and dragged a microphone. "Thee shall feel the wrath of the WARDEN'S VAULT!" Covering the mic he laughed, "HEhehe!"
Gesus barged in and rushed toward the person on the chair. "STAP!"
The person panicked from the shout and turned around. Gesus jumped and was able to knock the old man back, hitting the screens and breaking several. This lead to the old man spilling his ramen cup onto his feet.
"AHHHHHHhhhhHHh!" The man screamed as he felt his feet boil from the heat.
While the man held his feet in pain, Gesus started to press and pull anything she could see.
"Oi! Little girl what are you..."
Just as the old man was about stop her, the puddle of cup ramen juice connected with an open wire, shocking him; He died instantly.
Gesus jumped back, her heart was pumping like crazy after witnessing what just happened. She was terrified, she has seen people die before, however this time it was by her own hand.
She didn't know what to think and slowly made her way to the door.
Once close enough to the door, Gesus sprinted out as fast as she could.
She saw Bottle and the Lieutenant coming through the entrance where she came from. Although it was more like Bottle dragging the Lieutenant on the floor, she felt slight relief.
Bottle was the first to notice Gesus, and called out to her.
"Good job kid."
................................................................................................................
Notes: Beer Beard was banned from the bar for the rest of his life later than day.
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