On the way to the pool, every time a handsome guy passed by me I would dream about having a relationship with him. I tried to stay focused but the sad songs I was listening to just made feel even more lonely. Of course after I passed a park that I used as a reminder I am about 10 minutes away, I found some songs that makes you dance like a stripper. This is the only way to deal with my bullshit and still keep the smiley face and happy personality everyone thinks I have.

-Jaaake… Omfg the volume is so high …(Nick said while taking my headphones off)

Nick is an average guy. He is very famous with the ladies. He isn't that handsome.. but he has been swimming for a very young age so he has a body of a demigod. We met at the swimming practice, he really is my saviour. I have always been shy so making friends is a bit difficult. Although don't misunderstand, I am social … my personality helps people feel comfortable. Making friends from the other side is a different story. I won't open up to anyone. Nick … he is not my best friend but someone I really need. If I didn't have him I wouldn't be coming to practice. I don't really talk to the other guys. I am not in the team like Nick I don't like to participate in the tournaments. Fun fact, he has a lot of metals but he isn't a show-off.

-Hello, you there ?!

-Oh, sorry. I was in a zone… you know me and music.

-Yeah…

-It's a miracle I am still alive!

-Haha. You have a unique sense of humour.

-Bro wait for me.

There he goes. The popular guy. When did I relax so much around him to make such lame jokes…

I entered the locker room after them. I did walk slower so I could have the room to myself. But nope as I stepped in a random guy from another team was in his underwear, lucky for me I had time to turn my eyes away. I have had incidents. By incidents mean seeing naked guys with a six-pack and getting a you know. Although it mostly happens after I have practiced and changed clothes.

It's difficult not to get discovered by people who are already suspicious. I love swimming. I have tried others sports. It turns out I do not have team spirit or something. Of course I fake it so nobody told me anything. Of course I didn't let myself look girly around them. But luck was by my side and puberty hit me and since it was late I grew tall too fast. I had to stop basketball( the sport at the time ) and start swimming. When I was little I remember how much I loved going to practice. But after what happened with my parents… I just stopped. Mom didn't have the time to drive me there and I was too little to go alone( but mostly traumatized ).

I will never forget the last time I went swimming then.

I was crying like crazy because my mom told me everything and that I would stop going to swim practice. That day a boy came and sat by me after practice. He had such a beautiful smile.. He just sat there and let me used his shoulder as a pillow. I didn't realize that I like boys then. Who am I kidding I didn't like anyone. Any girl I was dating meant nothing!

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