JD woke from “that dream” again. He could hear his mother’s advice as if she were standing there, “Dreams can be prophetic. They can lead you to where you are meant to be.” He was beginning to hate the dream, because it never told him who it was. He was starting to feel things for Marc he had never felt before, but it was so confusing. As a young, healthy, teenager, he had experienced being turned on before. In fact he had a collection of favorite adult websites saved, all of them directed to straight men. So he knew he liked women, but maybe he liked men too.

He’d been on a few dates with Melissa, but every time she pushed for more, more kissing, more touching, although he could feel himself wanting more, something wasn’t right, and he would bring it to a gentle end. A part of him wanted to discuss what was happening with Marc, but another part of him felt like Marc was holding back something as well. Maybe he could talk to Melissa. She was the secretary in the GSA at their school. Maybe she could help.

The day seemed to move in slow motion for both JD and Marc. The fires were happening less often with the police on high alert. More of the sites were being found before the flames were ignited. Those that did ignite were placed further and further apart, which extended the travel times for the duo of heroes and authorities alike. It was making it harder and harder for Vigilante to save all the people affected. He hadn’t lost anyone, yet, but he knew the arsonist was working to tire him out. He and Marc were working as a team, not just at night, but now at school to try to keep their grades up. Their work/life balance was way off kilter and getting worse by the week.

Marc was slightly relieved when JD said he had some stuff to go over with Melissa after school. Walking home alone wasn’t so bad, and it gave him time to think about all the crazy that was going on. While the arsonist was priority, Marc found that his thoughts lingered on his growing feelings towards JD. He figured it might have been expected, seeing as how JD is the only person who remembers that Marc exists on a consistent basis. And, of course, the overused media trope that the gay guy is secretly in love with his straight best friend. Marc genuinely couldn’t explain when it started. It was definitely becoming more difficult to hide from JD though. They shared nearly every aspect of their everyday lives otherwise.

JD met up with Melissa in the Health room. GSA met there because the Health teacher was the faculty sponsor for the GSA. Miss Lewis wasn’t there yet, so they had some time to talk in private.

“So,” Melissa started, with a smile, “What’s up?”

“Ah,” JD started, a little uncomfortable, “so, I know we’ve been sorta going on dates and stuff, but I am having a hard time with something. It’s not easy to say, like, at all, but I was hoping you’d understand…”

“Wait, JD, are you trying to say you’re gay?” Melissa wasn’t all smiles anymore but she didn’t seem angry either.

“No, but I’m not sure I am entirely straight, either. I think you’ve felt it, it’s not that I’m not attracted to you, but I do have feelings for someone else, ummm… a guy,” JD felt so awkward admitting it out loud, but it was worse because he was admitting it to a girl he knew liked him. He just didn’t know where else to start.

“Um, well, I-I,” Melissa was a little uncomfortable too; “I know this is a confusing time for you. I’m glad you’re able to be honest with me.” She took his hands in hers and got him to look her in the eye again, “There’re a few different types of sexualities that include being attracted to both men and women. Maybe you’d like to stay for the meeting today? You don’t have to admit anything you don’t want to in the group, but we are going to be discussing self-exploration and options we have as teenagers to find a comfortable definition for our own sexuality.”

“That sounds,” JD started, “very awkward, and maybe overwhelming.”

“Well one thing to remember is that this is the Gay Straight Alliance. Not everyone here is LGBT, but everyone is an ally. Sometimes even learning that you are straight is a crooked path with a lot of emotions. We’re here to support everyone on this path.”

“So, I could join in without even discussing myself, yet?” JD worried mostly about what would happen if people found out about Marc. He could take care of himself, but Marc wasn’t ready to be “out” and JD didn’t want to say or do anything to compromise that.

“Absolutely,” Melissa responded enthusiastically. “I mean, we will introduce you and ask you to give a little something about yourself, but you’re not required to ‘come out’ in order to participate. Honestly, I am glad to see you here. It’s among the jocks that we see the most homophobic bullying take place.”

“Yeh, I’ve seen that. Those I’ve heard I’ve done my best to put a stop to it, but I can’t be everywhere.” JD had always thought he was doing it for Marc and those like him, without even thinking he could someday be the target. With so many questions and doubts running through his head he wasn’t sure how he’d ever “know.” But he hoped today would help.

After the group meeting JD felt like he had made a few more friends, some people had been worried to see the captain of the football team there, but he reassured them he was an ally. He wondered when he’d feel comfortable being honest, but at the same time, he didn’t even know what was the truth. The meeting introduced a lot of new words and concepts to him. Bisexual, pansexual, asexual, non-binary, third gender…. Everything was sort of swimming in his head. After listening to everyone’s thoughts on how these things were defined, he was leaning towards bisexual for himself. But there was also the romantic aspect, and he kind of understood the difference between them.

Both JD and Marc were in desperate need of sleep. That night they had no plans to head out looking for trouble, but Marc kept his scanner on, listening especially for the arsonist. They hadn’t studied together, or even had dinner together. By the time JD was in bed, he felt so lonely without Marc there. He wished he could talk to Marc about what was going on in his head, but he also was afraid of hurting his best friend. Still he called Marc to say goodnight, although they didn’t talk about much, in fact there was an abundance of comfortable silences. They fell asleep still on the phone.