I have always been assaulted/bullied since 1st grade, but today I will talk about an unfortunate event I experienced that continued from 3rd to 4th grade that corrupted me the most.

When I was in 2nd grade people started to notice how smart I was(not to brag because I kinda wish they hadn't noticed). After a while of teaching the class a few times during math, my parents received an envelope in the mail saying that they wanted me to test into a school for 'super smart kids', so of course my parents set me up to test in.

I ended up getting in, but because we lived in an apartment at the time we had to move. My dad worked a lot already and we almost never saw him. We also had to get up really early in the morning on school days to drive him to work, since we had only one car and we of course had school.

My parents were so proud of me and I treasured that. My Mom had Lupus which made it hard for us because she was almost always in pain and she also suffered from depression and severe anxiety. Because her feelings could be moved so easily when we did something to make her mad even something simple like asking for food she'd get mad and we'd get hit with her wooden spoon. So we usually got hit and it became a normal for us, so we feared our mother. It made me want to die, I was so scared and hopeless. So to see her happy and smiling wanted me to keep it like this forever.

She even yelled to our faces two times until now that she wished she had never given birth to us. The first time she later apologized that night and cried while holding us. The second time I don't remember if she apologized. So I felt more like a disgrace, but seeing her proud of me gave me hope that maybe all of that would stop and we'd be able to move on to a better life, so I kept going on living up to make my parents proud. 

Since I was also the eldest of my siblings I had a 'title' to live up to. So I had to set an example for my siblings and I had more responsibilities than them, so when they did something bad I'd get blamed because it was my fault for setting a bad example, so I'd get punished. It was an every man for themselves life then. You did everything you could to stop Mother from spanking you, even if it meant blaming others. So they'd always blame me, because it seemed like the most 'logical' answer.

We moved to the house we live in now that we have been living in for more than 3 years now, things have gotten better.

We were still out of zone from the school, but this house was closer to the school than our former apartment.(I can't name the school for privacy reasons, sorry)

 I started going to school and it was all fine, until the bullying started.

Being bullied was torture so I grew insecure. I had so called 'friends' but they never wanted to hang out with me, I figured it was because I was being bullied especially because my clothes. But because we had to move into that big house my parents couldn't afford such high quality clothes as everyone else.

This kept on continuously everyday, I thought they'd stop, but they didn't so I finally told my parents and they talked to the principal. The principal said she'd make sure the bullying would 'stop', but it didn't. It got worse because they found out that I had told the principal.(I'd definitely name every person, but, again, privacy)