William came over once more that Thursday. Jack hadn’t gone to the pub that day, wondering if he would receive another random warning from the American if he would have caught him there. And as William came by more, Jack began visiting the neighboring pub less frequently, to the point where he was only going there once a week.

“Haven’t seen you around much lately, Jack,” the bartender observed sometime in mid-March. “Something been up at home? You lose the nanny or something? I mean, even when you come here, you don’t drink nearly half as much as you used to.”

Jack looked up from his glass of rum. “Just been preoccupied with things for the past couple months, old chap,” he sighed.

That was true. William had been coming around a lot lately, nearly every day, much to Lee’s excitement and to Jack’s surprise. Jack had seen no point in having the nanny as often as he used to, so he dismissed her and told her he would call upon her when he needed her. She had stared at him as if he had gone mad, but nodded her head and silently left.

“Been spending time with your boy, Jack?” the bartender asked.

Jack smiled to himself. “Something like that,” he mused. At home, he was often dragged into the shenanigans William and Lee participated in on an almost daily basis.

At first, he had hated it, finding imaginary wilderness adventures in the living room rather stupid and irritating, but when he saw how happy it made Lee when he participated, he began to participate more than just sarcastically reacting to the terrifying “creatures” they came across. He got so into it at times that sometimes he felt he could actually see the creatures instead of a random shoe or couch cushion.

There were times when William would stay late to talk to Jack after Lee went to bed. Jack didn’t mind much. It was better than talking to intoxicated pub-goers or a bartender who could never seem to remember what was his business and what wasn’t.

Around ten o’clock one Wednesday night, William and Jack were sitting in the living room, talking over a couple glasses of rum. William usually only had one glass, sometimes two. Jack made sure to be careful with how much he drank around William, worried that the other would see him as an unfit parent.

“You’ve got a good kid, Jack,” William had said, staring at the dark liquid. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders.” He smiled into his glass. “You know, he’s really happy that you’re spending more time with him now.”

Jack took a sip of his rum. “Is he?” he asked. He hadn’t noticed. Lee always seemed happy to him. After all, he was only five. He didn’t know many hardships at that age.

William nodded slightly. “A father is very important to a young boy, you know,” he softly stated. “I was about his age when I met mine.”

“Met?” Jack asked, looking up at William. He raised an eyebrow.

The American nodded solemnly. “My father did not believe in loving only one woman,” he softly said. Jack could tell that William didn’t talk about this often by the way his expression and even posture changed. Where he was usually bouncy and smiling, now the soldier was stoic and serious. “So my mother divorced him before I was born, when she discovered that another woman was carrying his child as well.”

Jack was a little stunned. What kind of a man would do that to his wife? He had tried to imagine what Ming would have done if she were to find out that he had done that. She probably would’ve castrated him before divorcing him. His heart sunk when he remembered that she wasn’t here anymore.

“Hey, Jack? Buddy?” William was looking at him weird. “Are you okay? Have you had too much to drink?”

Jack shook his head. He’d only had a glass and a half of rum. He could still think clearly. “I’m fine. You just made me think of something is all…”

The words seemed cautious when they hit Jack’s ears. “Lee’s mother?” Jack hesitantly nodded. He thought of her every day, remembering her bright smile that could make the blind see. “He must look like her, because the only resemblance I can see between the two of you is his personality.”

Jack stared over at the soldier. He knew many people thought he and Lee acted a lot alike, but most assumed it was because he raised Lee. No one ever believed that Lee was actually his child. Only someone who truly paid attention would notice that Lee’s personality was nearly identical to Jack’s. The only other person who had stated that fact was the nanny that Jack hadn’t called in three weeks.

“Lee’s a good kid with a pure heart,” William continued. “Was that how you were at that age?”

The Englishman silently nodded, taking another sip of his rum. He had seen this American as a foolish twit, a boy who wasn’t quite a man yet wasn’t still a child. A young soul stuck in age limbo. He almost envied him. William didn’t have the responsibility of raising a child at this young age.

“I thought so,” William observed, taking another drink. “What was his mother like?”

Jack felt his chest tighten. “Ming was the only woman I swore I would ever love,” he softly stated. “She was always weak, and I knew that. I guess I always saw her as stronger than she really was…” He sighed. “I didn’t realize how fragile she really was until she was gone. And then, when I was left alone with Lee I was so overwhelmed. This child of mine, my beautiful son, who looked so much like her that I could barely look at him.” Tears pricked the back of his eyes. Why was he still talking? “I couldn’t bring myself to take care of him alone. It hurt too much. He would stay with his nanny while I would go out and drink until I would only see a blur when looking at him. It’s terrible. I’m a terrible person, Private Reed…”

“What’s with the sudden formality?” William asked, cocking his head to the side. He slipped the glass of rum from Jack’s trembling hand and set it on the table on the other side of him. “And I figured the case was something like that. My mother did the same to me. She claimed that I looked just like my dad, sent me to a military academy when I started school so she didn’t have to look at me every day…” His voice faded a little. “When I turned six, a boy transferred to my academy. Our birthdays were just days apart, him three days older.” He shook his head. “The boy looked just like me…”

“The other child your father had at the same time as you?” Jack softly asked, looking up at William, who was biting his lip.

William nodded, face blank. “He was. I hated him so much for the first year he was there.” He clenched his fist for a moment and then relaxed his hand. “But it wasn’t his fault, and he was always so nice to everyone that I couldn’t stay hating him.” His green eyes met Jack’s blue ones. “He knew the whole time. He knew I was his brother…”

Why was Jack suddenly feeling bad for this man? His heart was being tugged in many different directions. There was the memory of Ming, the thought of a small William meeting his brother who had taken his father away from him, but the most painful of all was the thought that he had done to Lee what William’s mother had done to him. Was Lee as damaged and broken as William remembered being at that age?

“I’m sorry,” Jack apologized. He didn’t quite know what he was apologizing for, but he thought it appropriate.

“You didn’t do it,” William simply said before taking a deep drink of his rum.

“But I did,” Jack quietly admitted to him. “I did to Lee what your mother did to you. He’s my child. He deserves to be more important than my own discomfort.”

William’s green eyes held a gaze of admiration as he stared over at Jack and set his empty glass on the table next to Jack’s unfinished one. “You’re a good father, Jack. At least you realized it before it was too late.” He stood. “If it were possible for me to be a parent, I would want to be one as admirable as you.” He began to walk toward the front room.

Jack stood, wobbled a little, and then followed after William. “If it were possible?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

William laughed lightly as he stood in the entryway. “We’ll save that for another night, eh, Jack?” he said, smiling. He raised his hand in a salute to Jack. “Until then, my friend.” He walked out into the night, leaving Jack standing, stunned, in the front hall. Americans were so odd.

.

As Jack slept that night, he tossed and turned. His dreams were fitful and terrifying, dreams of a blood-soaked Ming lying on the bed. He dreamed of the five years that all meshed and blurred together, the first five years of his little boy’s life.

He sat bolt upright in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. The last thing he had dreamed of was the day he met William, and the words William had said to him the next day. They now echoed in his mind, horrifying and terribly real. “Don’t ignore him, because before you know it, he’ll be all grown up.”

His mind then went to a smaller William, one Lee’s age, being shipped off to a military school. He imagined William running into a boy who looked just like him and coming to the shocking realization that his father raised and loved that boy…but not him.

Jack threw his blankets off of himself and ran to Lee’s room, paying no mind to the time. His eyes filled with tears as he watched the little boy sleep so soundly, completely unaware of his father’s fears. He stumbled to the boy’s bedside, gripping the blankets tightly in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered shakily. “I wasn’t a good father to you, Lee. I ignored you. I wouldn’t even look your way.” He took a long, deep, shaky breath. “Please know that I love you, even if it may not always seem like it. You’re my little boy. You’ll always be my little boy, and I will always love you.” One hand made its way over to Lee’s. He gripped it softly, afraid of waking him. “Please forgive me, Lee. I’ll be better to you, I swear on my life. Don’t hate me.”

After a couple moments of silence, Lee’s quiet voice muttered back, “I don’t hate you, Daddy. I love you.”

Jack blinked in surprise, looking at the boy. He was still asleep, but he had heard him and responded. His eyes overflowed with tears as he sat there for maybe about a half hour longer, trying to regain his composure. And when he finally did, he placed a kiss on the boy’s forehead and left the room. He meant it. He was determined to be a better father to the boy who deserved it the most.

.

William didn’t come that day, nor did he visit that weekend. Lee had been practically glued to the window in the front room of their flat, keeping a sharp eye out for that loud, cocky American. Jack didn’t want to admit it, but even he missed William. He had personally grown used to having the loud soldier in his home every day.

Jack had tried to console Lee by offering to go on adventures in the living room with him, but Lee shook his head and claimed that it wasn’t the same without William. It wasn’t like Jack could argue with that. William was full of life and imagination, whereas Jack couldn’t even remember the ridiculous names William came up with for half the creatures they “found” in the living room.

So when Monday came around and Lee came home from school, clinging to the hand of a certain American, Jack was very glad to see him. William had that same carefree grin that he always had as he saluted Jack on the threshold of his home and took off his boots. Jack suppressed a smile and rolled his eyes as he stood in the doorway that led to the hallway.

“And where have you been?” Jack asked William, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame.

William shrugged. “Here and there. Thought I would give you some time together since I’ve been taking up so much of it,” he stated. “Families need their time together, don’t they?”

The Englishman thought for a moment on how to respond. “We’ll have enough time together once you get shipped off, you know. I had to listen to Lee complain all weekend, wondering where you were.”

William grinned. “Fine, I won’t do it again.” He patted Lee’s head and ruffled the boy’s dark hair. “I missed you too, big guy.” Lee grinned up at William with a look of admiration in his eyes that broke the soldier’s heart. “I also had some training to do.”

“What kind of training?” Lee eagerly asked, bouncing around William like an excited puppy.

“Lee,” scolded Jack. The boy turned to him and the father nodded down to his feet. “Shoes.”

The boy grinned widely and tugged of his shoes before getting a running start and sliding across the hardwood floor of the front room, something William had taught him to do a few weeks before, much to Jack’s dismay.

“Got any plans for the morning, Jack?” the soldier asked, glancing up at the British man after setting his shoes in their usual place by the door. Jack shook his head. “Good,” he said, a grin appearing on his face. “Because I need to talk to you later.”

So William actually did have an excuse for staying away, an excuse that he wasn’t comfortable with Lee hearing. Thinking about what kind of excuse it could be caused Jack’s stomach to turn. What if he was preparing to be shipped off? What if he were leaving tomorrow? What if he came here to spend his last evening with them?

Jack shook the thoughts from his head. Ridiculous. And it wasn’t like he cared whether William stopped coming every day or not. He was more worried about how Lee would react. But if he didn’t care, then why did his chest tighten at the thought of no longer being able to talk to or see William? He decided to push those thoughts to the back of his mind and instead focus on the crazy adventure the living room had in store for them that evening.