William had swallowed four glasses of rum by the time he had started opening up that night. “Sorry about not coming around this past weekend, Jack,” he muttered. “After that last conversation we had…” His voice trailed off. “He’s been promoted to Captain,” he said when he finally spoke again.

Jack wasn’t really following that last part of the conversation. “Who?” he finally asked, leaning toward William. He was only on his second glass of rum.

“Mathew,” William finally said, as if the word pained him. “My brother.” He was quiet for a moment. “He’s always been better than me at everything, always! Yet no one ever notices him because he’s always so quiet! I hate it! The higher ups still have no idea who the fuck he is!”

“Lee is asleep, William,” Jack quietly reminded, shooting a cautious glance down the hall toward the boy’s room. “Please keep your voice down.”

William took a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m sorry,” he softly said. “It’s just that it’s not fair to him. I don’t care that he got all my dad’s attention when we were younger, it’s not fair for him not to get the proper recognition he deserves.” He clenched his fist and the British man quickly took the nearly empty glass from his hand and set it on the coffee table. “The worst is when we’re in the same base at the same time and everyone confuses us. Do people really think I’m that important? Do people really think I’m that great at things? I can’t do anything he can do.”

“Don’t let Lee hear you say that, William,” Jack softly said. “That boy thinks everything of you.”

William looked at Jack as if he were just noticing him for the first time. He got up and moved to sit next to him on the couch. “But that’s one person. A child. It’s not like it will make any difference.”

“It does to him,” Jack told him. The American blinked and muttered under his breath, staring at the floor. “What was that?” he asked, blinking curiously.

“Why do you do that?” William asked, raising his voice a little.

“I beg your pardon,” he scoffed. “Do what?”

William rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. “That! Stop it!” He sighed and tugged at his blond hair.

Jack was confused and put a hand on the soldier’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern showing in his voice. “Have you had too much to drink?” When the American didn’t answer, he leaned closer. “William?”

Suddenly, as if on complete impulse, William turned his head and smashed his lips into Jack’s.

Jack didn’t even have time to react. It had been so long since he was kissed that he just let it happen. He had forgotten what it felt to have another person’s lips come in contact with his own. He had forgotten the electric feeling that can only be felt by kissing someone, and he closed his eyes, imagining that it was Ming.

The kisses became a bit deeper and slightly more feverish, and Jack was reminded of the rush of kissing someone you were in love with. He was reminded of his and Ming’s wedding night, and how they had slept together for the first time. The night that Lee was conceived.

Jack felt that what he was doing with William was wrong, but why couldn’t he stop? Was it from being deprived from contact like this for so long? Yet at the same time, it felt so right. What was with the conflicting emotions he was feeling? He wasn’t in love with William! He couldn’t be! William was a man! But if it was so wrong, then why wouldn’t Jack’s heart stop racing? Why did he never want this to end? And at what point did he stop imagining Ming?

When they broke apart for air, Jack finally gasped as he came to the realization. He had just kissed a man! And he had enjoyed it! He had kissed back with just as much intensity! His breath had left him at some point, but he hadn’t noticed until now.

“William…” he sighed as he sat back on the couch.

The solider was bright red. “Don’t,” he stammered. “Just don’t say anything, Jack. Please.”

Jack looked to the young American. “You’re drunk, Reed.”

William sighed. “Alcohol really does bring out people’s true selves, doesn’t it?” he asked softly. His face twisted in complete horror as he realized what he had done. He hurriedly got up, nearly falling back onto the couch. “I need to go.”

Jack followed after him as he stumbled down the hall and to the front room. “William, are you okay?” he asked, following the panicked man. “What’s going on?”

William tugged his boots on. “I need to go,” he repeated. He fumbled for the doorknob. “Forget that happened, okay?”

“William?” Jack asked. His brow furrowed in confusion. “What happened?”

The young American simply shook his head and threw open the door, stumbling out into the night. “Just forget about it, okay?” he called back.

Jack stood in the open doorway for a while, watching the drunk American stagger down the street, yet he knew he couldn’t help him. Lee was asleep and he couldn’t leave a boy that young alone in the middle of the night. But when he was sure William would be okay, he talked himself into closing the front door and going to bed.

What had come over them both? Was William just drunk? Did Jack only kiss him back because he was thinking of Ming and feeling lonely? Why were things always so confusing?

As Jack laid in bed that night, trying to fall asleep, for the first time in over five years, he was not thinking of Ming. That night, he was thinking of William. How their lips felt so right together. How when they kissed he didn’t notice anything else in the world. But the worst was when he wracked his brain, trying to remember what it felt like to kiss Ming. And then came the painful realization that kissing William felt even more exhilarating.

The last thing Jack wondered before falling asleep was if he would ever be able to feel those American lips against his again.