With his eyes still red, Tristan sat down on the couch. Behind him he heard the sound of a faucet running, but he didn't look up. Instead he stared down at his hands, fiddling just so the touch could distract him from the shame he felt over breaking down. The faucet abruptly turned off again, and he knew he would have to face Hibiki. He took a deep breath and tried to gather his scattered thoughts together.

The first thing he was greeted with, was a glass of water, and he took it with both hands while mumbling a sore 'thank you'. The glass was cold, and slightly damp, but the chilled water soothed the aching in his throat. While he took a few sips, Hibiki sat down on the edge of the coffee table simply waiting for when he was ready.

Once he had taken a few more sips, and believed himself ready, he lowered the glass again. Hibiki's fingers moved between his, and took the glass from him to set it away on the table. The sound of glass against glass rang through the room, and the empty space in his hands was filled up with Hibiki's hand instead. His skin was warm, and he loosely held on both to warm his slightly cold fingers, and for comfort. For a while it was quiet, and it allowed him to think a little more.

"It's difficult…" For the so manieth time he tried to justify his actions again, still trying to work out the why and how. Hibiki's hand slipped from his grasp, and for a moment he was afraid to be left, that he had upset him somehow, but then he felt the same warmth again on his cheek. Cautiously, perhaps afraid that he would flinch again if he was too forceful, Hibiki made him look up. There was a patience and understanding in his gaze that he wasn't used to, not from anyone except perhaps Liz, but definitely not Hibiki.

Instead of words, whether written or silently said, Hibiki responded with a nod but never looked away. He didn't need to search for the meaning. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, giving a nod back in the knowledge that he wasn't alone – not in that moment, and not in struggling with his mind. With his eyes still shut he opened his mouth again, wanting to finally speak out loud his hurt, not necessarily because he was ready, but because he was too frustrated and couldn't move on without saying it.

"I… used to be afraid of going home. Because I didn't know what would happen… if I would be ignored, or yelled at, or find out there was no food… or if I'd be hurt. I would… make sure Anya was picked up, and if she was, I'd go to the library to study as late as I could. If she wasn't, I'd take her to the park, and let her play while I'd sit on a bench and learn. I studied every day, even if I was too tired or too hungry to remember anything. My mum would beat me if I had bad grades… but that's not why I was so afraid. I was scared because that was my only way out. I'm Anya's only way out.

And I made it this far… I thought that would solve things. But I'm still scared… that I don't deserve this.. that everyone will think I'm some poor, stupid immigrant… I still don't know what will happen when I go home, but I have to. Anya still needs me."

Once the first thing came out, so did the next, because it was easier to keep talking than to fight his thoughts. He only spoke what his mind saw, like describing a movie he was still watching. There were no tears, no crying, just word after word of a story he'd tried to distance himself from so much it didn't really feel like he was talking about himself anymore. But then that tale shifted from the past to the now, and the safety of dissociation crumbled.

"If mum finds out I'm gay she'll beat the life out of me." His voice trembled, and no sense of duty nor distance could hide the fear he felt. Not that he had been able to hide anything from Hibiki, who was now comforting him by running his hand back and forth on his cheek. He wanted more than that; he needed more to fill up the void that was left now he had forced out all those thoughts. With both hands he clasped Hibiki's arm, pulling him in closer for a tight hug.

"But I think you're worth it."

Hibiki had tensed up from his sudden grasp, but the words made him relax and lean in for the embrace.

"You make me happy. I like being with you, I really do." He felt two arms wrap tightly around his waist, and a nod in the nook where his shoulder met his neck. With a few deep, relieved breaths he fully sank into the hug.

After several long moments spent simply being close, Tristan felt Hibiki lean sideways, pulling him down too. He willingly followed, laying his head on Hibiki's shoulder and against his neck. A wave of familiarity washed over him. He felt oddly soothed and comfortable, just by virtue of having felt safe like this before. Hibiki's hand gently running through his hair only added to that.

It wasn't until two quick but firm taps on his cheek demanded his attention, that he opened his eyes and looked up. He was greeted with a message on Hibiki's phone.

'I know how hard you're trying, and that it isn't easy. I don't want you to feel like you failed, because you haven't. I'm proud you tried.

I also know I can't fix everything. I can't make it all go away, or make it right, but I'll help you. No matter what.

The more I learn about you, the more I think you're amazing. I don't think you're some poor, stupid immigrant, anybody who does is a dumbass. You're awesome, and kind, and you make me happy. You're worth it too, you're worth everything.'

A blush grew on his face as he read the words, nodding that he understood and had finished the message. He wanted to respond, but while still thinking of the words, Hibiki kissed him.

The kiss was laced with agitation, not sourced from any anger, but rather the care Hibiki couldn't express in written words. He went with it, accepting that feeling even if it was strong and overwhelming. As he was pressed against the back of the couch, he gripped Hibiki's shoulders with both hands.

He understood, he really did – but by then that wasn't relevant anymore. It felt good. He didn't need to think anymore about what to do, and instead just went with whatever Hibiki gave and took. Perhaps too eager to be blameless, but he could pretend he wasn't responsible for it anyway.

Bit by bit Hibiki shifted his position, leaning over him more and more. He let it happen, too enthralled by the feeling. His heart was leaping in his chest, and the only thing holding it down was the weight of Hibiki's body against his. Each touch lingered, warm and crackling like fire even in the most mundane places. A heavy, drowsy sensation numbed his mind, and he didn't want it to stop. So with both hands he clung to Hibiki's back. In response, two hands got tangled in his hair, pulling him up and in. And even then it wasn't enough, a kiss alone unable to satisfy the need he felt for love.

But then Hibiki pulled away, and it disappointed him a little. Slightly bewildered he opened his eyes, only to look directly into Hibiki's. Their darkness captivated him, finding not only infatuation, but also desire that bordered mischief. In the absence of the kiss, he also became more aware: of a hand still firmly holding his waist, and how his legs had wrapped around one of Hibiki's. In the back of his head he knew what his want entailed, but now the fog in his head no longer clouded his judgement he wasn't so certain anymore. He saw Hibiki consider the same, biting his lip and smirking slightly, before his gaze drifted down out of curiosity. A heavy blush spread on Tristan's cheeks, colouring them bright red even as he averted his gaze.

A soft kiss was planted on his cheek, and he heard a chuckle escape Hibiki, clearly amused by the sight. But then the grip on his waist loosened, and he felt Hibiki move away from him. He closed his legs in an attempt not to acknowledge anything existed above his knees and below his stomach. Mostly he was just confused, not in the least by his own swings in mood.

Hibiki's phone placed neatly in the centre of his chest disturbed his embarrassment: at least enough for him to read the message on it.

'Want to play games?'

He nodded, gladly accepting that excuse to get his mind focussed onto something else.

While Hibiki left the couch, Tristan quickly grabbed the glass still on the table and took a few big gulps of water – as if somehow it would wash away the awkwardness of knowing what he'd just thought about doing.