Saturday 1 pm
I woke up. My body ached from head to toe. My heart and soul overwhelmed from the on going pain and agony. I miss him so much. My brain filled with desolate thoughts.
'Why can i find someone who loves me? Will i find love? I'm worthless, i shouldn't even be alive, i should have killed myself when i had a chance. I'm a stupid joke, no one cares and they never will. NO ONE LOVES YOU!'
These thoughts tormented me for hours, i cried and cried. The pain in my chest wouldn't leave, it wouldn't go away!
Later that day i wake up 6pm
I had cried myself to sleep, i shot up in fear, a dream, I can't forget.
Heart pounding. My legs moving under me, i look to the side of me and saw... John? Why was we running? My heart beat got faster and faster. But then i heard a young voice echoing from behind us, shouting for us to stop. What had we had possibly done to be in so much trouble to get chased? I looked back to identify the young mans voice, to see a gun pointed right at... JOHN?! The police was after us! Out to kill us! Why? Why are they chasing us? What had we done wrong?
BANG! The bullet hurdled thought the air. No, John must save him! I flung my body in order to take the bullet. Tears filled my eyes... WHY! Why is this happening?! I screamed while cradling John... BANG...
I woke up.
Tears stream down my face. I-I-I can't loose him! My heart continued to ache. Hours passed again and i contemplate wether or not i should eat. more time passed and i just laid in bed letting thoughts fill my head. I eventually fell back to sleep at around 10pm. It hurt, loosing him in a dream, if i ever lost him in life... I think, i would loose my mind.
Sunday 1 am.
I woke up from a bad dream again. I couldn't go back to sleep. So i just lay there, crying, while listening to songs. Quietly singing along trying not to let anyone hear me, awake. I wouldn't want to worry my family as the have been going through so much already.
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