Monday night after I got off of work, I had my very first steamy dream. It took me by surprise, I so wasn't expecting it. In my dream, thanks to Hilary putting the idea in my head, I was with Alvin. Yuck. Anyway, we had just gotten off of work and were alone together in the sandwich shop, not exactly romantic I know, but as all steamy dreams go you can guess what happened.

Things got heated between us, we kissed, he touched me, I felt like I was on fire. Then when I pulled back from the kiss it wasn't Alvin anymore, it was Zoey. Her long tan legs wrapped around me, her green eyes with flakes of hazel looking at me with such passion and lust, her long coffee brown hair covering her naked chest. In my dream when I leaned in to kiss her I told her I loved her, you know what dream Zoey said?

"You're being dramatic, love isn't as great as you play it up to be."

I shot forward in my bed with a gasp just as my alarm for school went off. I felt equal parts embarrassed and turned on. Then once the initial shocking heat between my legs died down I felt super confused.

Was I gay?

More importantly, was I gay for Zoey?

I couldn't deny that I was extremely turned on by the naked girl in my dreams, and the thought of me and Alvin made be want to gag. This was something new to me. I mean sure as a senior in high school, I have thought about it before. I think everyone has considered if they were gay at least once in their life but most can just shake it off and laugh about it later.

I had always been with Zoey and the possibility that I liked her as more than a friend made me uncomfortable and was just weird so I ignored it. Now that she wasn't my friend anymore my inner gayness was rearing its rainbow colors.

Part of me felt mortified that I had just had a steamy dream about my supposed best friend, the other part of me squeezed my legs together tightly and did my best to ignore the fiery heat between them.

The mystery of me being gay would have to wait, I needed to go to school. So I got up and quickly got ready. It was raining outside which made me groan in annoyance considering I ride my bike to school. I put on my rain boots and pulled my hair up. Then I grabbed my backpack and put on a rain poncho.

"Morning Poppy, I can drive you to school if you want?" Lashawn, my annoying stepdad said.

I rolled my eyes at him and ignored him as I walked outside in the rain.

I got on my bike and pedaled to school.

When I got there Zoey was just pulling up on her bike. She didn't have a raincoat or jacket or anything. She always gets caught in the rain. I tell her she should really invest but the girl is so scattered brained that she always forgets about it until it rains again. We shared looks.

I gulped as her white shirt clung to her body, her jeans hugging her in all the right places. I felt my cheeks flush just looking at her like that. What was up with me? I mean it wasn't exactly the first time I had seen Zoey like that but that didn't stop my heart from suddenly racing and my brain from recalling the steamy dream.

No. That's just too weird. No way I like Zoey like that. No way I like girls like that. I mean sure boys weren't exactly lining up at my doorstep but come on, I wasn't that desperate. Girls are okay, but I would never actually date one.

Right?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and quickly chased after Zoey as she ran inside.

"Zoey wait!" I called.

She was shivering inside by the door when I caught up to her. She avoided my gaze and hugged herself tightly as her teeth chattered.

"I think I have a dry pair of clothes you can borrow in my locker," I said.

She didn't say anything.

"Why are you mad at me?" I asked.

She shrugged.

"Look I know what I said was stupid, I've been beating myself up about it ever since. I just panicked okay," I explained.

"Panicked?" she looked at me.

My face got warmer.

"I—I don't know. You were saying all that stuff about wanting to be kissed and I just, I don't know. I thought maybe... maybe we could kiss. That's dumb right?"

Her eyes got wide. I looked away in embarrassment.

"Wait... you're gay?"

"What! No! I just, I mean we are best friends. That wouldn't be weird right? I mean if I were to kiss someone it would be with someone I know and trust." I mumbled.

"Oh."

I turned away from her and facepalmed. I'm so dumb. I can't believe I just suggested that. There goes the last of my dignity.

"Sorry, just forget it. It's dumb." I mumbled.

"No! I mean, I just didn't know you felt like that."

"Is it weird?" my voice cracked and I cringed.

"No."

"Really?" I turned back to her.

She smiled at me and my heart did a flip.

I smiled back.

"Anyways, I need those dry clothes asap I'm freezing my butt off here." She shivered.

"I told you to invest in rain gear," I lead her to my locker.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it all before." She grumbles.

"Well until you do you will continue to suffer," I smirk.

"Bite me."

We stopped by the locker and I pulled out my art clothes. A pair of purple sweat pants and a plain grey shirt. I wear them while I'm in art class so if I spill paint it won't get on my good clothes. I hand them to her and we walk to the restroom.

I was content with waiting outside the stall but she grabbed my arm and pulled me in before locking the door. I just stared at her. Then without a word, she stripped out of her soaking wet clothes. They slapped to the ground.

I felt my face get red as I let my eyes wander all over her super hot body. Then I mentally chastised myself. What was up with me? This is so weird. I'm not in love with Zoey, right? There is no way I am actually attracted to girls. It was just my dumb dream messing with me.

She grabbed the sweat pants and pulled them on but held off on the shirt. Instead, she walked over to me.

"I'm gay." She said it just like that like it was no big deal.

My eyes got wide and I stared at her face.

"I have a crush on Hilary King," she finished.

For some reason when she said it I felt dread fill me up. Like I was going to be sick at any moment. I felt like she had shattered me into a million pieces. She liked girls, but not just any girl. Hilary King. My eye twitched.

I had this sudden realization that maybe Wes was on to something. Something I still wasn't ready to face. I was gay for Zoey, but not only that but I was so fucking gay in general.

Surprise! To me I guess.

Like biting into one of those chocolates you get in the heart box for valentines and getting that orange center, surprise! I felt my cheeks flush and my heart start to race.

"Oh..." I looked down.

"You said you wanted to kiss me when I was saying all that stuff. Does knowing I'm gay change that?" she asked.

I shrugged.

She grabbed my chin and forced me to meet her eyes, my breath got caught in my throat.

"Tell me," she whispered.

I glanced down at her lips, those soft-looking pink lips. I gulped.

"No..." my voice was sounding husky and not like myself. "Just because you like girls doesn't mean you aren't the same Zoey you've always been. It doesn't change anything." I said.

I stared into her eyes, those life-altering eyes. Before I knew it, her lips were on mine. Just softly, unsure, testing the waters.

I quickly pushed my lips into hers.

It was everything I always wanted it to be and more. My first kiss was with Zoey McBride, the girl I only just realized I was madly in love with. If I had any lingering doubts this kiss made them all disappear. It just felt right.

I was gay.

More importantly, I was gay for Zoey.

She pulled away slowly her eyes fluttering open. I just stared at her in awe. Her hand fell away from my face and I couldn't help but notice the deep blush on her cheeks. We kissed, we really kissed.

"Whoa." She said.

I just stared at her in shock.

"We've definitely been missing out." She giggled.

I nodded in agreement.

"Now I can say I've at least been kissed. Thanks, Poppy. You're a great friend." She smiled at me.

I just stared at her.

Friend.

I didn't want to be just a great friend. I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted it so bad I felt like crying. What was going on with me? I had never been so confused in my entire life. I had thought I knew who I was but that all went out the window the moment our lips touched.

I just felt so lost.

Before I could think better of it I wrapped my arms around Zoey and kissed her again. She gasped into my mouth in shock and stumbled back trying to regain her balance. I was able to sneak in two more kisses before the bell rang for class and Zoey jerked out of my grasp.

We were both breathing hard and red in the face. She quickly fixed herself and put a shirt on. I stumbled back against the wall, letting my head rest against it as I closed my eyes and tried to get myself under control.

What the hell was that!?

Zoey cleared her throat to get my attention.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. We stared at each other awkwardly. Then she laughed and I started laughing.

"Sorry." I finally said.

"Geez Poppy, warn me next time," she giggled. "If you wanted to kiss me so badly you could have just asked."

"I was just, I mean, you... you're a good kisser." I finally spit out.

"Why thank you," she pretended to polish her nails. I laughed. "This isn't going to be weird right; I mean you're my best friend I don't want this one time to ruin everything." She said.

One time...

My heart cracked right in half and I felt my smile fade away.

"Yeah, yeah, of course, one time." I forced a laugh.

"We can be like friends with benefits if you want. You can help me get in all the practice I need to wow Hilary." She said.

Hilary King.

I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Poppy?"

"Yeah, I mean of course, what are friends for?" I forced a laugh but a tear slid free and I quickly wiped it away.

Zoey eyed me.

I quickly grabbed my backpack and pushed past her.

"Um, see you around. Thanks... for that. I got to get to class." I ran out.

The great Ms. King. The perfect Ms. King, the best friend stealing, girl crush crusher, annoyingly perfect Ms. Freaking King. I hated Hilary, I hated her so much at that moment. I hated her most of all in the entire world. I don't care if she is nice, or kind, or if she's saint Mary at this point.

I made up my mind then and there, I am going to not just destroy but obliterate Hilary King.

Even if it's the last thing I ever do.