"You've had that grin on your face for the whole week. Are you okay?" I heard Ollie ask, making me come out of my thoughts. I blinked, reaching out for my lips to find out that they were indeed curved in a smile. It was almost painful. I chuckled, turning in the chair by my study desk so that I could look at Ollie who was sitting crisscross applesauce on his bed. It was early in the evening, and we were both done with our lectures for today.

"I'm fine. Why are you asking?" I asked, making him shrug before he returned his gaze to the screen of the phone he had in his hands. It was Wednesday, a whole three days since I went out on a date with Maxwell, and the effects of it hadn't worn out yet. I smiled like a fool for most of my classes, and especially the one class I had with Maxwell.

Ollie sighed, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it."

"I think Maxwell and I are dating. Well, not technically," I said, catching Ollie's attention again. He looked up, staring right at me with wide eyes. I shrugged, not knowing how to react to his expression. I needed help understanding what was going on, and he was the closest one insight I was willing to talk to.

"Wait, when?" he asked as I stared down at the carpet.

"Well, I don't know. I said I think we are," I muttered, running a hand through my head of brown hair. Maxwell and I have been talking more frequently, and he had shown up to have lunch with me and Ollie for the past two days. Plus, we were kissing a lot now, and I wasn't sure what that meant. I liked him, and he liked me? Well, I guess he did.

"I don't think things like that just go unsaid. Ask him directly," Ollie said before shaking his head. "For someone who likes to write romance novels you have like zero relationship skills," Ollie said, making both of us laugh a bit.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, finding my smile think out a bit. Ollie was right, I just hoped I would be more vocal in the future. Maxwell invited me over to watch him practice, so we could talk then. I looked up from my fingers, looking over at Ollie who now had his whole concentration on the screen of his phone again. I rose a brow, still wondering about who he was always talking to.

"Who's that?" I asked, making Ollie pause before looking up at me.

"What?" he asked, cocking his head to the side, his phone still in his hands.

I shrugged, gesturing towards his device. "Who are you always talking to?" I asked, and I watched as he put his phone away before sighing.

"It doesn't matter."

"Come on Ollie. Give me a hint. Is it someone I know?" I asked, getting up from my seat before heading over to my bed. I took a sit at the edge, still staring at Oliver. Ollie bit his bottom lip before humming. It looked like he was deciding what to tell me.

"What about if it's both?" he asked, making me frown a bit.

"What?"

"It's not just one person. It's someone you know and someone you don't," he said, making me groan loudly. Ollie chuckled at my distress. "Okay, I'm sorry. It's just Advik."

I frowned, trying to figure out who that is before I let out an oh. Advik was Maxwell's really tall friend from the party. I had seen him a few times after that, mostly hanging out in Maxwell's floor's main lounge, or drinking something down in the cafe. Overall, he was hard to miss. He was tall and loud, so he stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Wait, where did you meet him?" I asked, adjusting my position on my bed. Since I've been Ollie's roommate I haven't really seen him hang around with people. He was either on his phone or doing something else. He did go to the central campus gyms sometimes too.

"He plays casual volleyball, and I do too," Ollie said, making me nod. I remember Ollie signing up for a couple of sports.

"So, is it just him you talk to all day?" I asked, making Ollie chuckle.

"Of course not. That's just who I'm talking to now," my roommate said, giving me a small smile. "I don't have to tell you everything, stop bothering me."

I shrugged, before letting out a dramatic sigh and falling back on my bed. My back hit the soft mattress, and I let myself stare at the ceiling that was covered with stickers. It was probably done by the people that owned the room previously. "Anyway, back to the main discussion. So, you're saying I should just ask Maxwell? What if I creep him out? Or I seem too pushy?" I asked, hearing Oliver chuckle from his bed.

"You're a mess," he said in a matter of fact tone, making the both of us laugh.

"Though, seriously, just try and talk to him," Ollie said putting his phone away. His expression had changed, making frown a bit as I wondered what was on his mind. The room went quiet apart from the sound of my table clock ticking.

"It's great to brush aside a submissive attitude or whatever, but it can be harmful," Oliver said, folding his legs on his bed as he bit his bottom lip. "You know, I used to be that kind of person. but it was different in a way. I'd let people misgender me or invade my privacy. I was too focused on not being like other trans people," he said, putting the last part in quotations before chucking a bit. His laughter wasn't light. It seemed choked and drenched with desperation to mask something, though I couldn't be sure what it was.

"I'm still trying to unlearn that. I'm still trying to learn that I have a right to speak up, and a right to my privacy," he said, smiling at me before looking down at his lap. "There I go again oversharing."

"Yikes," he muttered before laughing again — that his desperation filled laugh.

I didn't say anything after that. I just sat still and watched Oliver play with his fidgeting fingers. He eventually let out a sigh before picking up his phone that he had put beside him, and just like that the conversation was over. I stared at him for a while, noting how he seemed to be concentrating on looking like he didn't care. His mouth was in a thin line, and his dark eyes didn't look away from his fingers. I sighed before reaching out for the novel under my bed, deciding that I might as well read a few more pages.

Later in the day I got up from my bed and headed back to my computer to work on my English paper and a new chapter of my book. I was still getting messages from Maxwell, and each new one made me smile. He was sending me gifs of bats eating bananas for some reason.

He has an odd sense of humor. I thought when I checked my messages again and there was yet another one. A smile made its way to my lips as I stared down at it. I thought about sending him a message, and after a while I did.

ME:

I can't wait to see you practice.

Saxophone or Cello?

6:02 PM.

MAXWELL:

Cello. I'm practicing with two other mates of mine.

Typing...

And maybe this time you won't be hiding behind the doors or supplies. :-)

6:03 PM.

I read his reply, feeling my face warm up at it. Yes, I'd been one of those people that hung around their crush without saying anything. He knows about that? I thought Maxwell hadn't noticed, but it seemed he had. I wanted to put my phone away and just hide under my covers, but I made to reply to him instead.

ME:

Well, I'm not sure how to explain myself.

Typing...

Sorry.

6:04 PM.

MAXWELL:

Don't stress about it. It was cute.

6:05 PM.

Shaking my head, I put my phone away. I would be following Maxwell to the music building tomorrow, and just the thought of watching him play his bass or saxophone was making me a bit nervous — and happy. It was odd, like that fan feeling you get when you're not sure if you'll die of embarrassment or cry from joy.