My face hurts so badly yet I can't even stand hearing my mother's cry. Karma is a bitch indeed. Always it is coming back to bite your ass. Maybe I deserve what is happening now to me. I'm weak and always have been. My brothers always stood by me and protected me. I miss those days a lot lately I wish I could get them back...

Nowadays I've started feeling scared of him he had never been so violent. He Is my elder brother and no matter what I really love him but he had changed a lot. The boy whom I see before me is just a shell of my elder brother who used to smile and talk a lot with me.

I can't talk anymore. I can't even scream it's true that I have turned into a mute. Whenever He looks at me I can read the guilt which is visible in his eyes. Both of My parents love us but they are scared to say something lest they break him further. He already thinks we're his enemies.

I want to get back our families which once been happy and united but now I know that we can never ever get back to those peaceful days. Every Single day I look towards that room, I can hear his crying in his sleep and I'm not scared to tell it. A room which is now empty and there just lives a ghost, nothing more.

"Nikolas." My mom enters slowly in my room but I do not reply. She will leave soon. I'm pretending to sleep its better doing like this. I do not want to talk or hear anything now. I hear her steps approaching my bed and a soft kiss on my temple. "You're my only boy." She whisper but I can feel the sadness in her voice. She's tired of everything.

Don't say that. You have Ivan as well. He needs you more than me, more than anything. Even though he will beat me each day I'll never hate him. I understand why his mind is so chaotic. Even though I'm beaten up I'll always make sure he won't hurt himself further than he is. He is my big brother.

I wait for my mother to leave shutting the door behind her. Then I stand up looking at my note. "Don't do something stupid again." I know he didn't read my note he only see ahead revenge which will hurt him and as well as that poor soul.

He was a shy boy from the first time I have seen him. He was always bullied and lonely, just like I'm today. Theodore, I must warn him and keep an eye on both of them. But I know he won't trust me but I'll try.

What we did two years back was wrong and now I understand how he must have felt that time. I only wish that Ivan could see the truth. What happened in that summer evening changed everything forever. Things got damaged and scattered but the only one whom to blame for all this chaos is...

Suddenly I snap from my thoughts hearing my brother screaming and noises coming out from his room. I rush towards the door and in front of me was Inessa. My father was already in his room and my mother was shaking in the door frame.

I look at her and Inessa replies flatly "The kid is beyond recovery." She looks at my mom and I can see her eyes. She was happy until he came back home. "Mom send him back I don't want him around."

She whined with an annoyed tone and put her earphones to hear some loud music. I push her slowly but she only shows off her tongue out to me and leaves to her room.

"Give me the pills." I heard my father's voice and I walked towards the room. He was holding Ivan who was barely conscious. Blood was dripping from his nose and he was breathing hardly. His body was trembling and he was still screaming. He looked awful.

I ran to my parent's room while my mom remained frozen looking at them. On their bathroom was a flacon of pills. I took them and gave them to my father. He took two and shoves them in Ivan's mouth forcing him to swallow them.

After few minutes he calmed down falling in a semi- sleep state. His body was throbbing softly. He let out a gasp and let his head back on my father's arms looking towards the ceiling blankly. I tried to turn around but I couldn't.

My sister and my mom weren't there anymore. They left him while he was hurting himself and was in pain. They blamed him for everything. My father looked at him and I could read the pain in his eyes while he was sitting in his knees holding him in his arms.

"It is fine now, Ivan, just sleep and forget." My father told him even though he knew he was not hearing him while caressing his forehead. He looked at me and smiled softly yet forcefully while I was standing there, frozen.

"He... just has a slight fever." He told me lying. "He will be fine by tomorrow."

I nodded and smiled back but without taking my eyes from him. He was crying and mumbling.

"Help me undress him and wash his face." He asked me looking visibly shocked by the image he saw of my brother when entered in his room. Slowly we put him on his bed and undress him while his body was trembling.

"Forgive me..." He told me gripping my hand while my father went out for a bit. I know he wasn't telling me that but I have forgiven him a long time ago. I lean on sweeping his hair across from his forehead and kissing him. He might hate me but I'll always love him.

After a time he calmed down falling in a deep sleep. Outside the door I heard my parent's voices arguing.

"I should not slap him" My father said while my mom said something that made me feeling awful "No! He deserved it. That child is dangerous..."

How can a mother hate her sick child so much and change her feelings so drastically. I never knew this dark side of her. She was sweet and always smiling, toward us but not toward him. Then why she was always calling him "sweetheart?" Then it hit me. She just was faking everything. Tears started pouring on my cheeks. I sat near the edge of the bed trying to hold onto my tears.

I wish I could speak again and take a part of his pain and make him realize that it's not over yet. He still has some people on whom he can count on. They love him and care for him as much as he does. He is broken yet he's hurting himself and this is not going anywhere except his complete destruction. He needs love and care but moreover he needs someone on whom he can trust, someone who can lend him a hand to hold on.