Sweet days of Indian summer were over, and the autumn took possession of her right. Like a ruthless Queen, she gave strict orders to demolish everything that reminded her about tender days of a diseased ruler. I huddled up from the crispy air. The stillness of the field was bitter like my mood. The burial ceremony was over, but I couldn’t get over it.
***
I brought the fairy’s body to the nearest fay family I knew. A little one was so mutilated, so I had to wrap her in my old handkerchief in order not to shock her kins. Having no idea whether she belonged to that family or not, I was indecisive and stood ten elbows away from the hidden grotto I was sure they lived in.
Fairies had a reputation of simpletons among creatures. Not everyone bothered to learn their chiming language or silly traditions. They were like a part of the interior nobody cares about until it disappears. I knew only several phrases and could hardly pronounce them. I learned them for fun when I was small and we sheltered two lost flower fairies in our house. I felt a pang of remorse: my sister and I played with them as if the were toys, not living beings. “When did they live with us?” I tried to dig it out of my mind, holding the kerchief in my trembling hand. “I don’t remember; it was summers ago. Probably, I got tired of them and found a new game or a toy. I never asked where they went,” I thought, filling with shame.
Some of the watchers must have noticed me, for dozens of tender bodies surrounded me, swarming around. I felt giddy, as if I was swinging on a rope to and fro, to and fro.
“I’m very sorry!” That was the only thing I could say, putting her body on the ground. My lower lip started trembling and I bit it till it really hurt. I was sure they would be angry and blame me or demand the details of the circumstances. I wish they would scream at me, but they were tender and thankful. Thankful for what? For thinking how to save my own skin, when it was tearing her? I didn’t care a bit about her then; she’s just a stupid fairy. They are like butterflies one more one less. I cuddled myself tighter in a sheepskin and hid my trembling chin and red nose behind a warm collar. I was too tall to get into the grotto where they spent cold winters in hibernation, for their weak bodies could not resist bad weather. In defiance of the cold, they decided to bury her outside. Her relatives fluttered touching my cheeks or my fingertips, as if comforting me. Me! Every time they did it I shuddered. I wanted to burn with shame not to look at them. The worst thing was when came her partner and cried over her wrapped body. She was still in my tattered, old kerchief; if only I could bring something better for her! We didn’t talk much: maybe they understood that a gigantic dryad had bad command of their language. I stayed with them till the end of the funeral.
Her name was Ida.
***
Doris might have problems if anyone from the creature committee finds out her affair with a human. Its one thing to have a secret crush till a human girl dies or the mermaid gets bored of her, but open relations with other humans and undeads involved, that's quite another matter. Thinking about the girl now when I had a chance to see her, I couldn’t help myself wondering what was so special about her, that made Doris obsessed. She was obviously pretty and attractive, as far as I can tell, but not so beautiful and elegant as my elder sister was. I sighed, seeing her jubilant image in my head.
I don’t think it’s all about the coin, there is something else. Unlike Doris, I didn’t fully trust her witch friends. Vera, Alex, and all their line are human descendants which, obviously, weren’t their honour or privilege. Could siblings have used any spells on mermaid just for fun?
Above all, I had bad feeling: in my experience, undeads and fairies never come in so close to the human settlements. Having been repeatedly told to stay away from humans, I was restless. “They are evil, Juni. Never trust them,” my teacher would say. I should have informed the elders about the talp, but they could ask me why I had been on human territory myself. They might find out that I wasn’t alone at the pond. But I can say nothing; I am constrained by the promise to help her!
I ruffled my short hair.
Doris could not see that a human girl is not worth it. It was impossible for me to accept that one can create a union outside a clan, and not to mention, of course, being with a human.
One more thing that troubled me was a familiar smell of girl’s friend. And his behavior too; it was nothing in common with what I was taught about them. Trying to help me was clearly a suicide, but he did it to distract the talp. Why?
“What are you doing here?” Ash was not able to jump out of the only tree in the field. His popping head in a tree trunk made me chuckle. “Where are the ingredients for a remedy? We’ve been waiting for you since noon. Jasmine and Maple are in a firing mood; you were to return four hours ago.”
“Tell them I was busy,” I said, straightening myself, trying not to think how silly his head looked: just like a terrible moss muzzle on the wall I saw once in an abandoned human wood house.
“I was sent to find you, Juniper,” he stressed my full name, but he knew I hated it. “Do you know I have my own duties from the elders apart from looking for you in human suburbs,” he grumbled like an old witch. We were of the same age, but Ash behaved like he was already the elder. Of course you are, our promising little star! He passed all the tests and became a warrior: a perfect archer, who is good at hunting, tracking, spells and potions. It’s just the matter of time he is a spy or, why the hell not, a new elder.
“Just take my bag with herbs,” I grumbled too, hanging it on his neck. “I’ll be late, so don’t wait for me.”
“What do you forget here?” Ash asked me while moving his head.
I hesitated, trying to make up a good lie not to go to The Hidden Sanctuary now:
“One flower fairy told me about a bunch of dry stems of witch hair not far from here.”
He gave me the fish eye, “How did you manage to understand their prattling? And, Juniper, the witch hair? Are you in your mind? This herb has been extinct for hundred summers.”
I curled lip sarcastically, “You’ve just informed me you had looots of errands from the elders. If you're in a hurry, I'm not stopping you. Anyways, I want to check this information. I’m a gatherer and it’s my duty to ... gather things.” I continued with enthusiasm of a lunatic. “No snowstorm or rain will prevent me from searching magic plants,” I made a pause, admiring the effect of my bombastic words, for his face, it was the only part of his body I could see, turned long, “and being a professional in the sphere of gathering, I have to check all information for the benefit of our society!” I raised my index finger up. Ash opened and closed his mouth and then muttered, “You are sick. When you are back, ask Jasmine to check you in case you were bitten by an encephalitic mite.”
***
I strolled to a small birchwood across the field. I remembered there were enough big trees I could squeeze in. “Encephalitic? A bookworm has been sticking at the Great Library in a human section.” I pressed my lips tightly, “Go to the elders and wag your tail. Show them what a good boy you are,” I said to myself while walking among long, dry sticks that used to be nice looking field flowers. Saying it, I immediately feared my own thoughts about Ash and the elders. He was really a good boy who is following the elders with all his heart. That’s why he is a warrior and a future elder, and I’m a stupid envious gatherer who is going to break all covenants of the elders and creature society!
Willow always wanted me and Ash to be together; my sister was too good, and it cost her.
***
Usually I visit Doris early in the morning after a night shift (some herbs need to be picked only when it’s dark or at a particular time) or late in the evening when there are also no sneaky humans around. We arrange our meetings beforehand: it’s convenient and prudent, for the mermaid may be away. Once she almost persuaded me to take a strange human device to get in touch with her, but I refused with scorn: “Where will I keep it? What if my kins see it?”
The place was calm and cold. I wish I put on a warm hat, for the tips of my long pointed ears were cold as ice, and I was constantly touching them and rubbing. The waters of the pond were grey and untroubled. Bright duckweed has already got heavier and went down the water till it is warmer and the day is longer. Only two days ago everything was breathing with life! The abruptness of the season change, the death of the fairy, and the talp, and Doris’s coin situation were bearing some uneasiness in my soul.
Marking time, I called her in a small voice (What if humans can hear!). No answer, of course. I came closer to the water; luckily there were some grey clinkstones. I stroke them numerous times with the spearhead, producing melodic noises. Doing it, I felt extremely stupid.
“Excuse me!” I heard a male voice.
“A human! And blindsided again!” I was stunned at his unexpected arrival and couldn't decide whether to poke him in the eye with my spear or just shoot to the nearest tree.
“Excuse me,” he repeated, “We met today, didn’t we?”
That was the exact young man! I didn’t answer, eyeing his funny clothes with interest.
He paid no attention to my amazement, “The morning was quite intense. Who could ever possibly put a mask on a huge dog! You must have been terrified; you were the closest to it,” he paused and looked at me attentively, “How did you make them?”
“Make what?”
“Make your elf ears. They look so natural. A friend of mine is a cosplayer like you: mages, druids, and all that jazz. I saw some of their costumes, but they never looked as good as yours, like in a high budget movie!”
“Mmmmm,” I covered my ears unconsciously. “I can’t believe: he thinks I am a human! He took me for a human!” I almost burst into laughing.
“Actually, I came here to find your friend with a mermaid wig. I thought you might have some project here: a photo shoot in your costumes maybe. Have you seen her?”
I could barely understand what he was talking about, feeling like a fairy in a big world:
“I'm looking for her myself,” I answered dryly.
“Let me be completely clear and earnest with you, and don’t make this personal. I think your friend is no good for Marina. She seems to be playing with her, making her believe in all kinds of weird things. Maybe she is a descent person: I don’t know, but I know Marina. My friend is very trusting, naïve and going through a really tough time. I don’t want her to believe magic nonsense. She deserves someone better.”
“Better like you?” I narrowed my eyes.
“As an option,” he retorted.
“I totally agree with you. You are her better variant. They are not supposed to be together. Marina, or whatever she's called, is so simple and boring to be with a mermaid, I mean, with my friend,” I kept up my chin arrogantly.
Не sniffed but didn’t argue; he didn’t look irritated either, “What about finding your friend together? Do you have any ideas where she is now?” he asked amiably.
That is my chance to settle everything without elders’ involvement! If he thinks I’m a human, everybody will, “I’m in. Let’s find her and finish this misunderstanding once and for all.”
I should just feel happy: he is interested in Marina; they are humans and must be together. Marina stays with her man; Doris will forget her and find another mermaid or a merknave; and my conscious will be clear. I guess it's all working out…
But his nice familiar smell was annoying me.
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