...

Elena was on her way to lunch when her phone started vibrating with an incoming call. She looked at the screen and almost dropped her phone.

It was Kyle.

Why the hell was he trying to talk to her? How had he found her Facebook? She didn’t even have her real name on it!

She could hear her heart pounding, her hands shaking as she tried to deny the call. She did and she threw the phone into her bag. She wasn’t about to start answering no damn phone calls anymore. Especially not from pigs like him that gave no shit about ruining people’s lives.

Instead of heading to the cafeteria, Elena headed to her car to sit there. As soon as she got in and closed the door, she started bawling.

Body shaking, teeth shattering, she could feel her eyes turning into a damn waterfall. She sobbed, throwing her hands to her face to hide them. She hoped no one would come into the car parked next to her. It was so embarrassing!

How could he? How could he just decide to reach out to her? In what mind did it occur to him that it would be okay to try to talk to the girl whose life he had destroyed. After that day, she hadn’t been able to be with anyone else. She hadn’t had a boyfriend, hadn’t been on a date in years, couldn’t remember the last time she had kissed anyone.

The thought of being alone with a man, of intimacy freaked her out. In her mind, she knew that not everyone was out to hurt her, but she couldn’t help the paranoia, the doubt from rising.

Then what about Dr. Ross?

He’s a doctor, a medical provider. He wasn’t interested in her, saw her as no physical distraction. He was dating and sleeping with a beautiful blonde, younger, happy woman. He wasn’t crazy enough to want to deal with someone like Elena.

She sniffed and lifted her head to stare out her car. The only reason she was okay with Dr. Ross visiting her house was because he was a beautiful man dating a beautiful woman, he had no time and mind to notice some raggedy ginger. 

She absolutely hated how she felt, how she couldn't breathe; her chest felt heavy while her heart seemed to be skipping beats. 

She was going crazy. What the hell was she supposed to do to make this all go away? She didn't like feeling this way, sometimes happy, mostly sad, always on the edge ready to explode all the time. She would either be angry, or crying, or feeling absolutely nothing at all. 

Was that normal? No emotions? Probably not.

She leaned forward onto the steering wheel and cradled her head in her hands. She had even moved cities just so she didn't have to be anywhere near her past. Why now? Why now?

...

Ben went down to the cafeteria to grab some food. He was hoping to have a peaceful lunch, so maybe he'd go back to his office and take a nap or something.

He still wasn't used to going to the cafeteria and was surprised at the amount of people that knew him. As soon as he crossed the doors, people started greeting him. He wasn't sure of some people's names, but for the most part, he tried to greet them and be polite. 

Unconsciously, he searched for Elena's copper head, only to admonish himself right after. He didn't understand how she'd gotten under his skin so quickly, and overnight. It wasn't like this before. He'd tease her, piss her off, see her get angry at him and that would be it. They'd each go on their way right after, but after Friday, he felt the need to see her.

He bought a sandwich, a drink, and headed back to his office. Maybe instead of stalking his nurse, he should call Sherry and apologize for Saturday. He knew he was acting callous towards her, while she was doing her best to please him. Part of him was freaking out a bit at Sherry's feelings. Initially, he had believed that she'd come on to him looking only for a fling, something to pass the time with and  then move on. But what he'd thought would only be a one-night stand had turned into a month, two months, and eight months later, they were still sleeping with each other. It wasn't his usual pattern of action, to keep seeing the same person for any more than a month, but being new to the area and having no life, meant that having Sherry accessible was better than nothing at all.

Except their one night stand had turned into something else and now Sherry wanted more. She hadn't come out and said it explicitly, but the way she acted with him told him the truth.

And he kept hurting her feelings every time he pushed her away...

He turned the hallway to the offices and stopped. Sherry was talking to one of the other providers. The other doctor signed a couple papers and handed them back to her. Ben slowly made his way over, greeting the provider who waved and turned back  to his office.

Sherry looked uncomfortable, pretending to be interested on something in the tablet she carried, as the other provider walked away leaving her alone with Ben. He said nothing for a moment, just observed her reaction.

"Walk with me?" He motioned for her to follow him down the hallway to his office. She hesitated for a second before starting after him with a sigh.

Ben let Sherry go into the office first, telling her to take a seat as he closed the door and went to sit behind his desk. She was still avoiding eye contact.

"I wanted to apologize for Saturday." He watched her reaction, she simply shrugged slightly. "I know that I've been acting like a jerk to you lately."

She bit her lip and looked up at him. "I know this...whatever we have between us, was caused because of me. I also understand that you don't want anything further than what we have. You haven't told me, but despite my hair color, I'm not stupid. I can see it." A blush creeped up her face, and she dropped her gaze to her hands on her lap. "We don't have to  continue with anything if you're uncomfortable, I'm not that vapid." 

Ben sighed. He rested his cheek on his hand and studied at her. He noticed her blush got deeper and she added:

"I know there is someone else in your life now."

He frowned. "What?" Sitting up straight, he saw her look up at him with a poker face.

"I...I'm not stupid, Ben." She looked away from him, but he still caught the stricken look on her face. "It wasn't me whom you were thinking about Saturday. I know that much."

He was a total asshole. He was a pig. He didn't deserve this girl to care so much for him, and she didn't deserve the pain he gave her. Heart pounding, he shook his head. "Sherry, that's not true. I don't have anyone else in my life. You know I haven't been with another woman since I met you." He gave a sad laugh. "I have no life. Between work and home and you, I don't really do anything else. I wasn't kidding when I told you I was fucking nerd and that I spent my time either playing video games or watching old anime reruns. I don't have time for anyone else."

But you didn't deny that it was someone else on your mind, she thought bitterly, urging herself to not cry, even though her heart knew it.

"I cannot be with someone who sees me more as a convenience than as a person." She whispered, trying to swallow the giant lump forming in her throat. "But I also cannot force your emotions."

She stood up, deciding it was for the best that she left before she said anything else and made a fool of herself.

She had turned to open the door when she saw a hand shoot past her head to hold it shut. With a gasp, she glanced back at Ben who stood behind her. 

"I'm sorry. I'm not... I don't want to be a jerk or hurt your feelings. I apologize for that. I know, and understand what you're telling me." He watched the emotions flash across her face, coming to end on confusion. She wasn't wearing as much make-up again. Only some concealer, some eye makeup and some light color on her lips. She flushed and dropped her gaze.

"I know I look ugly. I didn't have to time to do my make-up this morning." She grumbled, giving him her back so he wouldn't see her face anymore.

"I like it." He really did. She wasn't ugly. She looked young, fresh, and in his opinion, better without the layer of stuff he liked to put on her face. He held her shoulders, feeling her tense immediately, and turned her back to face him. She refused to look up at him. "Hey."

"I don't know what you want." She muttered.

He sighed. He didn't either, but he knew he didn't want to hurt this girl. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her hair. "I...haven't feeling like myself lately. I have my own demons to face, so don't take anything I say, or don't say, personally. I'm sorry that I've hurt you, I didn't mean to. Let's take this step by step, okay? I can't...promise you things will work out in the end. I don't want to make promises I won't keep. Please understand that."

With a short cry, she threw her arms around his waist, holding him tightly as she buried her face on his shirt. He could feel her body shake as she cried, but he said nothing, just held her against him, letting her release all her pent-up emotions. 

Finally, she pulled back, and looked up at him, blue eyes wide. "I get it. Let's just start all over. No pushing. No strings, just take everything step by step."

He nodded at her. He handed her a tissue and she blotted her eyes dry, blew her nose. Thank God for waterproof mascara! 

"Okay." He smiled at her. "My break should be over soon-"

"Yeah and I have to run. I have three more stops to make before I'm free for the afternoon."

"I'll call you later?"

"I have to go to my grandmother's house," she started. "I'll be gone for the rest of the week."

"Okay. I'll text you then. We'll keep in touch," he said with a nod. 

She wiped her eyes one more time, before hugging him once more and leaving his office. 

Ben stood there, staring at the open door and wondering what he was going to do, and hoping he could keep his end of their deal...

...

Dahlia was on her way into the building when she ran into Sherry on the entrance.

"Oh! Sorry!" Sherry exclaimed as she moved to the side to let Elena in. "I almost ran over you!"

"It's alright. No problem." Elena noticed the other girl's red nose and puffy eyes. "Uh, are you okay?"

Looking startled for a moment, Sherry recovered and nodded. "Just... Was having a moment. But I think I'll be fine. Anyways, have a good day!" With that she walked off towards the parking lot.

Elena stared after her before turning back to where she was going. She wondered if her puffy eyes and red nose had anything to do with Dr.Ross? She hoped that he hadn't acted like a dick towards the girl again. Last time had been bad and she had been in tears when she'd left.

Although probably not, since the girl wasn't actively crying as she left...

Elena stopped by the bathroom before heading to her station. She felt slightly better after spending most of her lunch hour crying in her car. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide the puffiness of her eyes, of her nose, but she felt better having washed away the saltiness of her tears.

Her chest wasn't feeling as heavy as before.

She was sure that Dr. Ross had noticed that she'd been crying, was sure that he wanted to ask her why, but held his tongue. It was for the better. She didn't want him asking questions. The less he knew, the better for her.

The afternoon rolled by quickly enough and soon it was time to go home. 

She dialed his extension. 

"Ross."

"Hey, I'm going home now. Will you need anything else before I leave?"

"No. I'm good. Just have to work some things and I'll be leaving as well. Thank you."

"Alright. Have a good night, Dr. Ross."

Pause. 

"Are you okay?" He added, wondering if she'd actually tell him why she had been crying over lunch. She didn't mention anything, and he hadn't wanted to be nosy, but he'd noticed.

"Yes. Was just having a moment." She seemed to be having a lot of moments lately, he thought but didn't mention it to her.

"Alright. Well, if you need anything give me a call. You have my number."

"Okay. Thanks." He heard the click of the phone as she hung up.

He sighed as he stared around his office. He was a doctor. He had a good life, he supposed. Had some beautiful girl interested in him. His nurse was a good nurse. Then why was he so... off?

He needed something else and he didn't know what. Rolling up the sleeve of his shirt, he stared at the lines that cross over his skin on the inside of his forearm. There was a tattoo there, a black bar code. To others, it might be a simple tattoo, simple or dumb, whatever they wanted to decide; to him it signified a beginning, it stood for the price he had to pay to be where he was at today. Right under the bar code was an infinity symbol, because he didn't have a price. It could be mean high, the price he paid in suffering, or low meaning his life was priceless...It depended on the person who saw it.

Nobody could probably see the scars left behind under the black ink of the tattoo, but his eyes could. He couldn't remember the last time he'd sat there pondering on the damn tattoo.

Disgusted with himself, he fixed his shirt, and got ready to leave.

He didn't need to be pondering on the past.

...

Elena was sitting on her couch in the living room, some random Dragon Ball episode playing on her TV when she heard the bell ring.

She stopped and looked from the sketchpad on her lap. Had she heard right?

The doorbell rang again, making her look at the clock on her wall.

One freaking twenty in the morning.

Who the hell would come ringing her doorbell at that time. She put her sketchbook down and stood up, debating whether she should answer the door or not. What's the worse that could happen? Maybe it was a killer coming to put her out of her misery? She could feel her heart starting to beat faster, her palms beginning to get a little sweaty.

With a huff, she decided to go see who it was.

She peeked behind the curtain of the small circular window panel on the door, and was surprised to find none other than Dr. Ross standing at her doorstep. 

She opened the door a crack and stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

This was the second time in two days that he'd shown up uninvited.

He shrugged, throwing his hands in confusion. She noticed his hair was slightly messy as if he'd just run his hands through it. He wasn't wearing his usual long sleeve dress shirt, but a dark green thermal. He was wearing faded, well worn jeans with it and some sort of...combat boots? Well.

"Can I come in?" he asked and that's when she noticed him slurring a bit.

"Are you drunk?" she questioned with a frown. She was regretting opening the door now. If she'd known he was drunk, she wouldn't have even acknowledged his knocking.

"Only slightly."

"Uh huh. Were you drunk driving?" She still wasn't convinced about letting him in. He shook his head at her with a scowl.

"Of course not. I don't even have a car!"

Sigh. "Fine." She opened the door and let him in.