Our friends often looked shock when they found us in your room with our heads on a pillow and eyes looking at numbered pages with inked words on them. Our ears listening to the soft sound of the piano being played while we turned the page.

"The atmosphere is a bit mopey." Toby once said as he stood awkwardly to the side. "The piano isn't even upbeat, how can you listen to this?"

"If you can't deal with it, then get out of my house." You stated blandly as you turned the page.

"You can't seriously enjoy this?" Toby asked me with a raised eyebrow. "Come on, you're supposed to be the tough guy."

"Shut up. I'm reading a fight scene and you're ruining it."

"Whatever," he scoffed, "enjoy what I can't"

He didn't leave, he just got out his earphones and listened to his own music as he played a running game on his phone. He didn't disturb the reserve peace except for a few grumbles when he was defeated during his game.

It was awkward when other people came into our business. They would listen to the piano music that we enjoyed, peering over our shoulders to glance at what we were reading. Moments where we didn't speak should have belonged to us, but somehow they always got interrupted.

Perhaps your father would enter the room, asking if we wanted a snack. Or one of our phones would buzz and someone was calling us, then we'd would pick up the phone and have an uncomfortable conversation that the other person could hear one side of.

Maybe we should have found our own secret hideout where we would be hidden from judgmental eyes and bitter minds. Turned off our phones so that no one could reach us. Locked ourselves away from reality and laid next to each other and read. We should have done something to preserve our time together.

What if we scouted that forest near the school, would we have found a cave where we could take shelter in and stay warm? We'd have to bring flashlights and lanterns so that we could see through the darkness and sit on the towels we brought because the ground was moist.

Or would we find an empty clearing where flowers grew and the close cluster of tree and their leaves was the roof? We would sit with the bright vivid flowers and only come on bright sunny days - because that was when its beauty would be best presented for two wondering lost souls.

If only we went in the forest near the school, we could have found a place to use as our haven. It would matter if we only went on certain days or we had to bring supplies; because at least it was a place where we could relax alone.

But in the end, we did nothing to stop visitors from entering, and we still picked up the ringing phones and we continued to pretend that this was fine. We stayed in your room and listened to the sad piano play and read the thick books to keep us occupied.

Perhaps, I should have done more. Then everything would be different.