Kiss Me

Part Fourteen

Aya

Again I'm being so gutless. Leaving yet another note and not saying it to his face. But then again if I was in front of him, I may not have said it at all. I probably would have flung insults and hurt him again. Z said to me moments ago that I need to be honest. I thought I did that. I've finally been honest about my heart and where I want to be, but maybe it's still not enough. All my life I've blocked out anything that would make my world spin in the right direction. I made myself believe that grinding my ass and all those one night stands is what made me happy. But the reality was so much darker than that. I was treading on glass the whole time.

I should have just waited for him to come back from wherever he was. But I didn't. I'm walking the streets wondering what I should do now. I've only just found myself. "Hey," I frown when I heard a deep whisper and I stopped walking. "Oi," I heard it again and spin around to see who. Couldn't see anyone looking at me. Maybe I'm hearing things or maybe it's not for me at all. "Come here, you know you want to."

"What?" I said and moved closer to where the voice was coming from and stop short of dark alley. No fucking way am I going down there. "Sorry bud, I'm not interested in whatever your selling...."

"You should be." What. The. Fuck. And two big hands came at me, grabbing the front of my jacket and pulling me into the darkness. Obviously the panic set in and I struggled against my assailant. "Stop struggling, whore."

Oh fuck! I know this voice. "Please stop…" I didn’t even have time to react before his hand was closing around my throat. He slammed my head back against a wall behind me. I would have cried out if I could have found the oxygen to do it. I clawed at his wrist and then tried to go for his eyes, but his free hand came up and connected with my jaw. The punch made it feel like my entire head had exploded, which I suspected was exactly what he had intended. I was too out of it to struggle as he dragged me across the filthy dirty floor. I scrambled for purchase with my feet, but he was too strong. I tried to scream, but with the brutal grip he had on my throat, I couldn’t get any sound out. I had no clue exactly where we were in the alley until my back hit a dumpster.

"Where have you been?" He asked and I gasped for air. "You fucking ignore me after the money I've spent on you, then up and disappear…."

"No!" I cut in before he could even finish. I shook my head slowly. "No, please...No more." I tried to prepare myself for the next blow, but there really wasn’t any way to do that. I tried desperately to protect my face, then my ribs when I hit the floor. But there was no way to predict where the next blow would land. Pain curled through my system as I begged for darkness to claim me, but it didn’t come. Heavy fingers curled through my hair, yanking me to my knees. "Please…" I begged. Yet my pleas went unheard. His fists didn't relent. Over and over again, uneven blows, but still had a great impact.

"If you won't become mine!" He shouts yanking my face up. I could barely make out his in the dark, but I knew exactly who it was. My regular. The guy I've admittedly ignored lately. "You won't become anyone's!"

"I...I'm sorry…" I sobbed. He laughs, maddening and frightening. Then drops me to the floor. His boot made contact with my stomach and all the air left me. "....please…"

"Fuck you!" He shouts, then kicked me in the face one last time and runs away like a pathetic loser. He could easily finish me. But he didn't, he left me curled on the floor with the rubbish and drug paraphernalia. My whole body was on fire, I needed to move. I had to move.

Trying to pull myself up, I scream in agony. "...please ...move…" I breathe out. "Just ...move…" I don't know where the strength came from or how. But I dragged myself to my feet, clutching my stomach. There's only one place I want to be right now. "Henley…" I whispered and wobbled from the alley. The blood rushing from somewhere on my face started to soak through my top, yet I held on, watching my feet as I dragged myself towards his. I had the odd passerby ask if I needed help, I ignored them and kept on. I wanted him, just him. No one else to touch me.

I breathed with relief when his block came into my blurred vision. I only know it's his because the familiar smell from the kebab shop a few doors away. Its stupid, right? There's so many fast food places around here, it could have been anywhere, yet I familiarized myself with the surroundings. I guess it was one thing I was good at growing up and that's remembering things and certain smells. "Please...be here…" I got to the first set of doors. Luckily it was kept ajar and I didn't need to depend on that woman again or anyone at that matter and struggled through them to the lift. I pressed the button and tried to cover my face when I heard voices. The lift pings and the doors open. I pressed the button, then my body crippled and I fell to my knees. I couldn't move another inch, that when the doors opened again I struggled across the floor. "...fuck…" I whispered. I had to find just a little bit more strength. His door was just seconds from me. "....Henley…" And that was it, I couldn't go any further. My body shut down and the darkness descends over my eyes.

I don't know how long I'd been out for, but I started to come too and the pain was even more severe. No one had come. Not a soul to be seen, so again I was struggling and crawling towards his front door. That when my hand finally touched the cold wood, I broke down. By the grace of god I made it. I pulled my hand back and hit the door as hard as I could. It sounded more like a tap, I failed to make any more sound than that. My strength was waning again. "Please...Henley…" Again I tried to make as much noise as possible. But nothing, until the door opened and I heard a girls voice.

"Oh fuck!" She screams. "Henley!!" Just hearing her say his name has me sobbing all over again.

"Oh shit…" I heard his voice. Finally, his sweet deep voice graced my ears. "Aya...what...oh god…"

"I…" I choked.

"Don't talk, I got you." He said and helped me to my feet. My body screamed at me, tearing a scream from my lungs. "Fuck, we need to get you to the hospital." I tried to shake my head. I tried to say no, I don't want to go. I just want to lay down in your arms, but the words didn't come. "Meg, get my car keys." And he picked me up in his arms, like I was made of air. His warmth spread through me, numbing the ache in my chest. "I got you beautiful. I got you." I closed my eyes again. If I was going to die, then I wanted to die in his arms.

Kiss Me

I thought I'd opened my eyes to a dark room, but I wasn't awake. I know that now. I wonder if I'm in hospital or maybe I actually died. The thought made the pain worse, so I'm definitely not dead. I must be sleeping, still it hurts so much, even in my dreams. I guess my dreams of late have been good ones. Henley was in each one, now he's not here. I'm alone and it's dark and cold. I'm scared, what if I never wake up. What if I'm stuck in this dark place forever? I don't want that, I want to see him. I want to see him smiling.

"Aya," I heard a whisper. I panic. What if I see that guy again? To see his face forever in my mind. To feel his hands on my neck again. To feel each and every blow he'd rained down on me. "It's okay Aya, I'm here beautiful."

"Henley?"

"Please wake up."

I sobbed. "I will, wait for me." I said, But got nothing back. This is no dream. It's a fucking nightmare. To hear his sweet voice, pleading, begging for me to wake up. To not see his face, but hear his pain. "I...I will wake up, please wait for me." Still nothing. I feel so small here. In this black void.

I blinked a few times when I saw a flickering of light just up ahead. Yet black shrouded the most part, so I thought maybe it would be a good idea to move towards the only light in this dark emptiness. I moved closer and closer as a bright white door appeared before me and the noise of machines ever to present. I'm definitely in hospital. If only I could just wake up. So I did the only thing I could do here and grabbed the cold round door knob. It opened to a room filled with machines and a bed. I saw me, lying there. Asleep and Henley next to me, holding my hand. "I'm here, right here." I said moving towards him. "I won't ever run again, I promise. I won't leave again, just wake me up, please."

I felt cold as I dropped to my knees. It felt like life had frozen to a complete stop. I looked up and the bed was now empty and Henley wasn't there anymore. "I don't like this nightmare, please let me wake up." Then darkness came all over again. Maybe I am really dead. Would this be hell? Would this be my hell? Are my sins that bad? I get it, I've done stupid things. But not enough to deserve this. This is too cruel. To give me a snippet of the man I love to then take it away. "It's too cruel," I sobbed. I fell to my knees, I felt so cold, my skin took on a blue appearance. I panicked. "Please wake up, please ...wake up." I whispered clutching onto my knees. "Just wake up. Don't let me plead." I rocked my body as I tried to calm my frantic heart and constant shivering. I closed my eyes, then I felt warmth on my chest. So much warmth, his warmth and finally I blinked as the room came into view. Blurry, but it was there.

"Aya," I tried to turn my head, but I couldn't. "It's okay," he said and came into my field of vision. "Don't try to move, I'm here."

"I'm sorry." My voice sounded like a broken whisper.

"Don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for. Just rest. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He leans down and connects the lips I've been waiting for. His fingers gently pushed my hair away from my face and he kissed me again. "See, I'm here."

"I...I...love you…"

"I know. I love you too." I closed my eyes as soon as he said those words back to me. Although I'm unable to It was incredibly difficult to be in the same space as him and not have him in my arms. They ached to be holding him, my mouth was dying to kiss him back, yet I lay here. But I'm happy, he loves me too.