Fear.
She could see the fear in the eyes of her slayer best friend. The way her hand shook slightly as she pressed the gun to her forehead. No. that wasn’t right. Joan would never point a gun at Bex, right?
Something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.
She could see Joan’s breath in the chilly air, trees covered in white all around her as snow fell lightly.
Something wasn’t right.
Something was missing.
There was a hole inside of her. A large, gaping, empty, hole.
The silence gave it away.
That awful space of nothingness that stretched on for too long. As the slayer eyed her, she felt like the world came crashing down on her shoulders. A dark and heavy weight pushing her down, no shoving her down into that empty space.
She watched the slayer's eyes go wide before pulling the gun back ever so slightly, the wet shiny metal had a warped reflection on it. She tried to focus on it but the silence stopped her. If it was silent then something was missing, no…
Someone.
Someone was missing.
Some part of herself.
“No…” the word came out in a horse and broken cry. Shattered sounds and syllables but not truly a fully formed word.
The heaviness was so unbearable. Bex felt like she wanted to throw up, to cry, to stop breathing all at the same time. It was just so much.
“Rebecca!”
Bex shot forward in her bed and gasped for air. Tears streamed down her face and she dry heaved as if she could throw up at any second. She felt heavy like there was an unrelenting sadness pressing down on her. She had never felt anything so awful in her entire life.
She wanted it to stop.
Needed it to stop.
She couldn’t even speak to cry out for help, the words were stuck in her throat, choking her. It was so much, too much. She felt the sudden onslaught of a panic attack, unable to stop it from happening, unprepared even.
She could remember going to bed so happy, just fine. Lyssa having kissed her goodnight, how she woke up like this was a mystery to her. One moment she was fine, the next, she was not.
She gasped for air and reached for something, anything. Comfort, safety, warmth. She needed something. She found nothing.
Then before she could panic even more a gust of wind allowed her to finally catch her breath and arms were around her before she could even register what had happened. She clung tightly to the cold undead body cradling her. Her eyes wide with shock and confusion.
She had to close her eyes and press herself into the vampire, nuzzle her head into Lyssa’s chest and count to 20 before things began to make sense again. Before the world was no longer crashing down around her.
“Shh, I got you. I’m here my love, I’m here. It’s okay.” Lyssa soothed her.
Bex took a shaky breath and just waited until all her thoughts came untangled and she felt safe enough to open her eyes.
For a moment they sat there in silence.
But it wasn’t like the silence Bex had dreamed about, this was a comforting silence. She could hear herself breathing, hear Lyssa rubbing her back softly. She could hear Lyssa’s hum as she liked to call it. It wasn’t an audible hum, just a hum that Bex always felt inside when Lyssa was near.
“Talk to me.” Lyssa kissed her lightly on the head.
“I… I don’t know what happened. I was fine when I went to sleep, but… I had this awful dream. God, it was so awful. I can’t even describe it. It was just… terrible. I thought…”
“Tell me.” Lyssa encouraged.
“I thought I lost you or something, like for real. But that can’t be right, I can’t explain it. I heard you calling out my name, no screaming it. It was so real, I felt like I was right there. God Lyssa, it was awful. I don’t ever want to see that again.”
“Do you want me to stay with you?”
“Please.”
Lyssa moved the blankets and gently laid Bex down, curling up next to her before pulling the covers over them. Bex wrapped her arms around the vampire and made her the little spoon, burying her head in the dip of Lyssa’s shoulder.
Lyssa grabbed Bex’s hand and interlocked their fingers.
“What did you feel? What was it like for you?” Bex asked her.
“I felt like you were in danger, I could feel your panic and fear. I also felt something else, something strangely familiar. That awful feeling you described; I’ve felt it before. I was so scared that you might be hurt or something so I came as fast as I could.”
“Please don’t tell me you’ve felt that before, that was awful. I hope no one has ever felt that before.”
“It’s over now, I’m here. I’m not going to let anyone or anything make you feel that way again. Promise.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Now rest my love, school starts in the morning and you need to be rested.”
Bex sighed and closed her eyes, letting herself relax around the vampire.
Lyssa counted sheep in her head to help Bex fall back asleep, she only made it to 124 sheep before Bex was back asleep.
Laughing.
This time in her dream she was greeted with laughter. A cute girly laugh.
“We are going to get in so much trouble,” some girl with a heavy Victorian English accent said.
When the girl turned to look at her as they ran down an alleyway she was confused for a second. For a moment she thought she was looking at herself, but upon closer inspection, the girl was not herself, but rather someone who looked very similar to her. They could even be mistaken for twins.
“Trouble is my middle name,” she said, no not right.
Her voice didn’t sound like that. She did recognize the voice it was Lyssa’s.
But how could that be right?
“I thought you said your middle name was danger.” The girl teased her.
“I could have more than one middle name.” She teased back.
They both giggled again.
“Come on, before we get caught.” She scooped the girl up into her arms.
Then everything went by in a blur as if time was flying by her and when it stopped, they were inside a bedroom. She set the girl down who she only noticed then was holding something in her hand, some type of clothing.
“That never gets old.” The girl giggled.
“Well, well, well, my darling Elizabeth has just stolen for the first time, how does it feel?”
“Come off it, you made me. Besides I don’t think I will even look good in it.”
“Why don’t we find out now?”
Elizabeth smiled at her, a smile that stopped her heart and warmed every fiber in her body. It was breathtaking and soul catching. It was the purest thing she had ever laid eyes on. She only wished she could save that moment in time forever.
She watched as Elizabeth turned her back to her and began to slowly untie her nightgown in the back. She could feel her heart rate increase, her emotions spike through the roof. She wanted her, she craved her, she needed to touch her.
Elizabeth turned towards her just slightly, almost teasing as she wrapped her arms around herself to hold the gown in place.
“Stop staring and give me a hand.” She teased.
Bex reached out, her fingers just brushing the soft fabric when,
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