He was once a happy man, he had it all. At first, he had nothing, nothing to offer but his heart, and his love, but even that he kept to himself. Until he met her or bumped into her again. Things for her just seemed to always happen for a reason, she never asked why, b/c she already knew. But, that didn't mean she always got the answer, or at least the answer she wanted. So when these two found each other, she needn't bother to ask why, b/c she didn't want to know, she just knew, the short time she had with him, she had to make it last. They stayed together for the longest, happy as can be, she encouraged him to go beyond, to be ambitious, and have it all. He became a respectable chef, and always came home to a warm bed, where she always awaited him with open arms. She worked at home, and now and then got herself into an odd job. They lived in San Francisco, it was her dream to get away, to somehow prove she could manage on her own, but she didn't want to do it alone, she wanted him, needed him to be by her side. They didn't get married right away, b/c he wanted to offer her something more, the things she deserved and needed. Though her protests did little against him, he bought them a place, by the shore. They were in utter peace and content, and things only got better. B/c soon they got word that she was expecting, they were in utter joy, they were so speechless. He kissed her so passionately, and she couldn't help but feel proud. That she was going to bear him children, healthy strong boys, so that they can grow up to be like his father. Somehow that brought joy and such pride to her. She didn't know why, but somehow, bringing up boys in the family was something to be very proud of. It was soon time, and he was rushing, and in total panic. She couldn't help but smile, throughout the entire 9 months, he had been steady and calm. And all of a sudden he was losing it, she couldn't help but smile, she even laughed, though it was hard through the pain. The family was there, they hadn't liked the idea of her being so far away from the family, but she wasn't the kind to stay in one for too long. He had helped her escape, and for that she was thankful. And so, there amid darkness in utter twilight, a healthy boy was born. He had dark brown hair. Almost like his father, but the eyes were unmistakable they belonged to her all right. He was the perfect blend of both of them, but he couldn't help but get the feeling that he was the spitting image of his mother. And he liked that, he liked seeing how his son looked like the woman he loved. They gave him a strong name, obviously a name that the mother had picked out a long time ago. It wasn't until one afternoon, that they were meeting up for a picnic. He was waiting, at the cross street with the food, and she was bringing baby Dame. But while she was crossing the street a car came speeding down, and you could hear the sirens gunning down on him. Baby Dame, slipped through his mother's grip, and before anyone could do anything, there was a loud hit. And one scream. The car was stamped into another car, and on the floor lay the mother. She was holding baby Dame for all he was worth, when she noticed that there was no scratch on her baby, she smiled and closed her eyes. She lay her lips in his little forehead, and he just looked up at his mom, wondering what had happened. The father came running, as fast as he could. Screaming for someone to call the ambulance, he picked up his son and noticed he was ok. But then his next focus was his wife, she was just looking up at him, tears gleaming down his face, he swiped away the dirt in her face and kissed her. He was praying, begging, and pleading for her not to go. That he couldn't raise the child alone, that he would be lost without her. That they both needed her. She couldn't stop smiling, she began to laugh, trying to cover up the tears. She touched his cheek wiping away the tears, how she loved him. She kissed him, the ambulance got there, and they had to rush her right away to the emergency room, from their perspective, she wouldn't even last the night. But he knew better, she wouldn't dare do that to them, she was a fighter. Throughout the whole time, he wouldn't let go of the child, and her family was with her the whole time. They didn't blame him, but then again, they've always resented him, "She could have done better," they thought. His only comfort was the child and his sister. She didn't make the night, she quietly slipped away and didn't even say goodbye. He never stopped crying that night, and he held his child so tight, he too could have nearly slipped on by her. Years had gone by, and he still took care of his baby boy, now and then his sister came to help him out. The family now and then demanded he move back, but he didn't want to, he had memories there, and he wanted to stay there b/c of her. His sister often always told him, to go and mingle b/c baby Dame couldn't go on without a mother. And she wouldn't have wanted him, to stay alone forever. He thought about it, and now and then he'd cry at night b/c it would hit him hard. That in his bed, there no longer lay she. And that the closest thing he had to her now, was their son, which oftentimes was more painful to bear than anything. Something would come over him every time he saw his son, he looked so much like his mother. It wasn't until one spring, that Dame got in trouble and a beautiful lady came to the rescue, little did they know, she was sent to rescue them both.
These are a small collection of poems, short stories, or what could have been novels, that I have written since '06. & now after more a decade, I've decided to share them all with you. Looking back, some stuff will be cringy to read lol...it's all an emotional rollercoaster, but hopefully you'll have fun with it, like I have, but in the meant time, enjoy my awkward queer weird self, as I go thru my journey of just plain awkwardness, & learning to heal, letting go, & moving forward, with life.
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