The next morning, without any reason, may be out of habit, I got up and started getting ready as if I was going to school. I pulled up my uniform skirt, and put my shirt on over my undershirt, as I grabbed my uniform’s vest I started towards the door. Luckily, before I even left my room, I glanced at my desk calendar and saw the date.
Oops, that’s embarrassing…
I sighed and changed out of my uniform and into my morning clothes; a long black dress with a lighter black ribbon, that tied around my waist, and light black ruffles trim around the skirt. I tied my hair back with a silky black ribbon and a pin of cherry blossom. The only bit of color in the entire outfit was that pin; even though I knew it probably wasn’t appropriate to wear it, I need that little comfort.
I walked downstairs to the dining area where my grandparents sat with the manager of the inn, my guess is they were discussing the day’s plan for the work to be done around the inn because as soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs the manager left. The manager, Hideaki, was a friend of my father’s and after his death offered to work at our inn; he’s in his late forties, with a couple of strains of grey hairs in his otherwise dark charcoal hair, he had some wrinkles because of the stress of being an inn manager, but otherwise a young-looking man. He has two sons and a young daughter, that come to visit him some times; Jun, the eldest at twenty-seven is studying to be a lawyer; Katautoshi, who’s my age and classmate; and Ayah, who’s the sweetest seven-year-old.
The three of us sat at the dining room table and ate our morning meal silently; I always hated seeing my grandparents dressed in their mourning clothes, it reminds me of the actual funeral. When we finished our meal, and put our dishes in the kitchen, we left for the bus stop near the inn that will take us to the cemetery. I grabbed the picnic basket, which we packed last night, for lunch on our annual “outing”; we usually eat at the bus stop after visiting or on the bus ride home, depending on how soon we finish.
We left the house around Nine AM, and it wasn’t a long walk to the bus stop, and the bus ride was pretty quick too. When we arrived at the cemetery, we first went to the main entrance building to do the routine talk that my grandparents do with the groundskeeper and manager of the cemetery. While they talk, I grab a bucket and go fill it with water; this way when we get to my parents’ grave we can clean it before we place incents and flowers out for them. After they talked, we walked to the grave; there I cleaned the site with the water, and my grandparents placed the flowers and incent on the stones.
We prayed at their grave, and talked to them for a while. Then my grandparents decided to “take a walk”, leaving me alone at the grave. I knew why they left; every year I am given “alone time” with my parents, letting them know how the year has been and how much I miss them. When my grandparents left, I waited for five minutes before a sat down in front of the grave and began to talk to my parents in silence.
Hi, mom. Hi, dad. How’s heaven? So many things happened this year I wish I could tell you about. Grandmother found the birthday gift the two of you were going to give me when I turned sixteen; I’m wearing it now, the cherry blossom hairpin. I want to thank you for it first, but you already know how grateful I am.
The inn's been doing well, Mr. Hideaki has been doing a great job in helping grandmother and grandfather run it. I help out as much as I can, but they always say that school comes before the inn, but I don’t listen. Do you remember Akiha? She’s one of the housekeepers at the inn; she just had a baby. He’s so small and so cute, but she had to quit in order taking care of him. Grandfather says that she can come back when she’s ready…I miss her sometimes, she was like a big sister. It got really lonely, but I know she’ll come back, she loves the inn.
School’s been good; I’m doing well in all my classes. Eiko is still obsessed with boys, and Fumie is still quiet and shy; I really hope she opens up soon, the other girls in the class are starting to pick on her. I know we’ve known each other since elementary school, but I’m so worried that she may never come out of her shell.
Anyway, I miss you guys…I wish you were here, I really need to talk to you. I’ve been having these really weird dreams, and I’m afraid to talk to grandmother and grandfather about them…
As I continued to talk to my parents, I felt a chill run up my spine. As though, I was being watched; it was the same feeling I had the day before. Soon the feeling got stronger, and I quickly opened my eyes and looked around. I was alone.
Chiara, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. No one is watching you.
I shook my head and closed my eyes again. Not more than five minutes passed when the feeling returned, this time I jumped to my feet and spun around quickly. I looked around like a cornered animal, yet to my surprise, there was no one there. I could feel panic starting to creep into my mind; thoughts of the worst-case scenario began to emerge with the situation.
Mother. Father. I’m sorry to cut our conversation short, but something doesn’t feel right. I quickly prayed, then ran off to find my grandparents. I’m sorry.
I quickly made my way to the entrance of the cemetery and looked around, I couldn’t find them; I decided to sit on the entrance steps till they arrived. I sat patiently, hugged my knees to my chin, and waited. Trying to calm myself, I started to sing a song I heard when I was little:
Nen-nen yo okoroiyo suyay-suya to oyasuminasai
Nen-nen yo okoroiyo yaqshi hito ni sodachimasu youni
Kamis-sama arigato, enjeru mo arigatou
Nen-nen yo okoroiyo mama no mune de oyasuminasai
I continued to hum the tone of the song; I could feel my body relaxing more and more with each verse. Soon, I closed my eyes and softly sung.
Year after year by Okorori
By sleeping soundly to good night.
Year after year by Okorori
You as to grown in people who forgive.
Thank you God, Thank you for encounter.
Year after year today Okorori I’m
Good night at mom’s chest
I continued to sing to myself, and soon I felt myself drifting off. I opened my eyes again and looked around for my grandparents. When I saw they hadn’t arrived, I allowed myself to nod off and sleep for a while.
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