In this part, I’ll talk about our first date. So, BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP because although it might not be the wildest ride but even the caterpillar roller coasters have lap belts now (so nobody dies but still).

Before our first date, we switched to talking on Facebook where I accused Katrina of being a big hairy guy called Simon. Any hairy guys called Simon out there I apologise for using your image, but I didn’t want to have to call Nev and Max out here.

Of course, Katrina said the same. Something along the lines of… (exactly this) ‘there’s still so much I don’t know about you either. You could be some sweaty, forty-five-year-old man who still lives with his mother.’

Of course, I nipped this ASTOUNDING accusation in the bud.

I was an axe murderer and I did not live with my mother thank you! I wanted to make that very clear.

Kidding! Probably…

Anyway, we met at a bus stop that was miles from the bar and took the long walk together to get to know each other. It was summer. A Friday. I remember because I had this jacket on and it was so warm, I was praying I wasn’t sweating through it. If I remember right, it was raining too. I remember that I thought it was going to be a disaster when I stepped off the bus in my favourite (and only pair) of sex kitten baby doll heels (read: Clarks inch heel granny shoes) and I stepped onto the street and SNAP!

Righty decided that he had done with life RIP.

So, the strap of my right shoe came off turning it from a granny shoe into a pump of some kind. I guess it could’ve been worse: it could’ve been the heel and I would’ve died (overdramatic I know) but Katrina was kind and we walked slowly (so I didn’t trip on my ass).

We eventually got to our destination: this little bar in the gay district of town and sat in the outdoor section on the not-wet chairs. Katrina went and got the drinks while I waited, texting my excitement to my besties and taking Nev and Max off standby (sorry for using this joke twice) I was gushing about how pretty she was and how nervous I was and how she seemed also.

We sat, a set of FANCY gin in front of us as we chatted.

THEN

THEN

Two girls came to sit next to us. Kill me now.

So, they were chatting to us and very quickly decided it was our first date and started chatting about how cute we were. Oh lord, it was embarrassing.

One thing Katrina always tells me she remembers is when one of the girls mentioned rebounds and I turned wide-eyed and asked, ‘I’m not a rebound am I?’ she laughs now, telling me she was shocked at how worried I looked.

The girls told us they had to leave... well this was after the girl with the septum piercing and bleach blonde hair informed us she was bi multiple times but they did leave nonetheless. They told us they were going to another pub close to us and will be in a cheaper bar later if we were going to be there. We were going to just ignore them and hope to never see them again, but more on this later.

We drank, we chatted and got up to go somewhere cheaper. Anyone in England will know that the cheapest place to go is Weatherspoon’s. SO OFF TO SPOONS WE WENT!!

Also, FYI this is the cheap bar those girls were going to be in they said.

We sat. I ordered chips (as in fries, not crisps) and Katrina ordered her favourite non-alcoholic beer (a girl who knows her limits?? Keeper indeed!!) and we chatted some more. It was fun UNTIL those girls came in again and we decided it was time to bounce.

Of course, not before a conversation, neither of us remembers well to this day: who asked for the second date first. I will always say that Katrina asked first, but she will always tell anyone that I did. Either way, it was mutually agreed that a second date would happen, I guess.

We left the pub and made our way to the street. I knew I was gonna grab an uber and steeled my nerves. Not for the uber but for the kiss I wanted at the end of this great date.

I mean, I'm not a slut or anything but I do think that most first dates should end wit a kiss. I think it shows the other person that you enjoyed yourself and you want to show that by letting lips touch lips like hands in prayer (that’s what Romeo said to Juliet to make her kiss him right?)

Well, my friends, no kiss happened on the first date. It was unfortunate, to say the least, but my praying hands got some action that night!

Oh god, I can read how that sounds now- MY LIPS I meant MY LIPS and the upper ones at that.

I bit my lip the whole way home. It was one of those times I just kept worrying and doubting she had had a good time as well. I was getting all worked up and then….

I got a text telling me exactly what I needed to hear.

It was magical to me. I was so happy. I was ready to open my heart like a blossoming flower to this girl.

And of course, that first date was only the beginning….