Dear super awesomely evil diary,

Who’s the evilest super villain in the world? Me!

So, I was talking to River for a few days to get to know them better. One must keep their friends close and their enemies closer after all. Since I have devised to talk to the enemy on a regular basis, I am able to do more harm since they trust me. I was able to figure out their favourite dessert, the dastardly cupcake. Like any super villain, I made the cupcakes and gifted them to River.

The most evil thing is that I added so much sugar… it will result in long term harm such as becoming overweight or developing diabetes!

I am an evil genius!

Also, they found out that I was the one that cleaned their jacket the other day and they were surprised.

They truly are a master detective.

They were talking about how the other day their jacket went missing and it appeared suddenly without the stain. I then commented that it was I who did it. Curse them and their amazing wit.

Signed,

Super smart super villain of the galaxy,

Binx.