Dear evil minion diary,

I was instructed to babysit my minion, so I took the liberty to take her to the park. I made her participate in evil activities such as the swings since swings are very dangerous. If my little sister wants to be a true minion, she needs to learn how to be fearless and willing to sacrifice herself for me. After I felt we had enough time at the park, I decided to treat myself to some coffee. Coffee in the afternoon? I would be up all night! Which means more scheming and potty breaks. I truly am evil.

While I was at the local coffee shop, I noticed River was dining in having some tea and a snack. They immediately saw me, and we proceeded to have a conversation. I decided to keep my cool since they are probably terrified that I bumped into them outside of school and possibly think I am watching their every move, ready to pounce on them with a new evil deed!

River found my minion to be extremely adorable and charming, so I allowed them to hold her. I made the excuse that I wanted to order some coffee and asked if they would be okay with looking after my minion while I did so. They said they were okay with it and I hastily made way to the counter. I am so proud of my minion doing her first evil deed as she distracts my nemesis for me.

When I arrived at the counter, I ordered myself a coffee and said that I would also pay for River’s order. This is perfectly devilish! They will be confused on why they are not being billed and people will automatically think they dined and dash. I am truly a genius. An evil genius.

I after I got my coffee, I wheeled my minion out of the scene, and bid River a farewell. They seemed very happy today for odd reason but coincidentally it will only be on awful day for them!

Victory is mine once again!

Signed,

Evil coffee lover with the best minion sister in the world,

Binx.