Dear mega evil diary dy-8000,

Today I was hanging out with minion, Lucas, at his place and he told me that River has been talking nonstop about me for the past couple days. They may admire me of the moment but what they do not know is the evil that lurks within this vessel. Lucas was very skeptical of all my evil deeds and I silenced him with a chocolate bar. Minions get so disobedient when they do not receive their pay.

Ever since my minion, Lucas, gave me River’s cellular phone codes, I have been assaulting their phone with images of distracting baby animals! That way they will be distracted at many unexpected moments in the day! They will lose the ability to focus and be even more unproductive! My ingenious use of technology is not only revolutionary but extremely evil.

What might I unexpectedly assault their eyes with next?

A duckling?

A bunny?

A puppy?

Or even…

A very fluffy kitten with big innocent eyes?

River will never know! My patterns are too hard to predict!

Mwahahaha! I am truly evil!

Signed,

The evil master of technology,

Binx.