Im REALLY mad at Caleb right now. he NEVER closes the doors or the gate and the dog gets into EVERYTHING. i woke up to tyler going through my trash can. Also, Caleb is kind of acting like a brat. He gets away with almost everything when im watching him and my sister. and its only because he cried and lied about it. he got a hug and 2 snacks for misbehaving!!! he always eats my food too. stuff that is MINE he thinks he should have it too. URGH hes so frustrating!!!!!! .... yeah ok im probably mad about nothing... in the moment stuff i guess... anyways, i kinda ended on a weird note last night. your probably wondering who Alex is. Shes my best friend. and i havent seen her in i think 4 weeks. The reason for that is because i only get to see her twice a week at church. since she goes to different school and lives a while away from me, thats pretty much it. i got sick though and was out for a week. then her family got sick too. so she didn't come for 3 weeks. (i think there was other stuff too but i cant remember) shes coming tomorrow though... i hope. another thing you might ask is if you only get to see her twice a week how are you best friends? answer: i think its probably because we dont go to school together. sounds weird right? its really not. in middle school, you get to see who your true friends are... and well... apparently i dont have many. so many have just... gone. ive gained some new.. but idk. Alex and i just kind of click. which, is also kind of strange now that i think of it. she's sporty, pretty, has dated, shes super smart (shes never gotten anything other than an A), and shes got so many friends. shes just super cool in general. meanwhile, im over here with glasses, pimples, not sporty at all, never dated, and i dont have too many friends anymore. so many people have left me... i guess thats something you should know. they just have chosen others over me, which is fine. theyre allowed to do that. it just hurts when its all the time. and suddenly theyre not talking to you. they abandoned me for someone else.. so i guess thats made me a bit... unsure of myself. i feel like i did or said something wrong. thats gotta be it. im always afraid im going to do the same thing again. maybe thats why i like younger kids. they dont really care, they just want to play. they dont want to talk about guys (not that Alex really does...) so i guess thats kinda how i feel about friends and Alex. i dont know this entry kinda was all over the place. anyways, im pretty tired. cya.