That night, I dreamt of the man from my childhood, but it was different from the first time; clearer images even. His face was still a blur, but his other features I could see more distinctly; he looks tall and has long hair but the image is too blurry to make out any distinct color, yet it looks so soft. His clothes looked like he was wearing festival wear, but, like his hair, it’s too blurry of an image to be sure.
I walk closer to him, and I feel like the world around me was getting bigger. I stopped short and looked at my feet, I was wearing the same outfit as that day; it was my favorite outfit when I was little, a pink and white sundress with a pink ribbon tied around my waist, I wore all the time when my parents took me out on picnics, a pink ribbon tying back my hair, and pink ballet slippers. This outfit always made my parents smile when I wore it; they called me their little fairy because when I spun around the ribbon on the dress would flutter around me like wings. After examining myself for a while, I looked back up at the man and was able to make out a sad smile on his face.
“What’s wrong little one,” his voice was warm and gave me a sense of security.
“I can’t find my mommy and daddy…,” I feel tears streaming down my now child face, “I’m scared. I want my mommy!” I began to wail like an infant.
As the dream continued, I see the man and me playing together in a grassy field of the area I was picnicking at with my parents before I got separated from them. I see myself sitting in the field making a daisy crown, and he is sitting near me, smiling that warm smile. I look so happy and safe like I had forgotten I was lost in the first place; what was it about that man that made the child me feel safe? I should be afraid of strangers, but why wasn’t I with him?
When my alarm sounded, I reluctantly climbed out of bed and started to get dressed for school. I looked in the little mirror on my desk and stepped back, my eyes were red and swollen; I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, I was crying in my dream, so I suppose I could have cried without knowing it. I quickly walked to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water; that lessened the redness and swelling, a little. Then I went to breakfast and listened to the morning weather report.
“We’re going to see a beautiful spring day. Temperatures are going to be in the mid-seventies, and cool breezes are flowing through the streets carrying the season’s cherry blossoms to neighborhoods everywhere,” the news reporter cheerfully spoke on the TV.
After breakfast, I left the house and walked down the main walkway. Grandmother and grandfather were already at the inn attending to the guests’ morning meals; there’s no point in bothering them now, I’ll let them work and help out when I get back. I walked by the fox statue and stopped a few feet in front of it; I turned around and smiled up at the fox’s face.
“You’re an odd gift, but I suppose you’d be a good protector,” I spoke to the stone, and bowed, “Please watch over things while I’m gone,” as I stood back up, a gentle breeze blew by; was the fox trying to say something through the wind? I shook my head and ran off in the opposite direction, waving at the statue behind me, “I’ll be back.”
As I ran towards the bus stop, I got the strangest feeling that the statue was seeing me off safely. I shook off that feeling as the bus pulled up and I boarded. I didn’t think much about that feeling the entire bus ride, instead, I started to think about all the questions I wanted to ask Rin when I saw her at school; like what she meant by my past life, and who I was in my past life that would account for the dreams I been having and gifts I got. When the bus got to my stop, I quickly got off and ran towards the school; I wasn’t late, but I wanted to find Rin as soon as possible. I know she’s in a club, but I don’t know when they meet or where their meetings take place, I just hope I could run into her in the hall or something. When I approached the main gate to the school, I noticed a familiar figure standing by the entrance waiting.
“Good morning, Ms. Fumatome,” the quiet voice spoke, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Rin-chan!” I was surprised to see her waiting for me, it was kind of odd; then again, I was about to do the same thing.
“I figured you’d have questions about our conversation the other day, so I arrived early to talk to you,” she spoke as though she’d already known that I wanted to talk.
“Yes. Wait, how di– never mind…let’s go inside and talk,” I spoke to her as I stepped to the side, indicating I wanted to go inside the school building. It's not that I was embarrassed to be seen talking to Rin, I just wanted privacy, in case something weird came up in our conversation.
“Of course. There is a book in the library that I’d like to show you,” she said in a tone that sounded as though I was supposed to know that we were already going to be doing that.
I followed her to the school library, holding back all of the comments I wanted to make about her tone when she spoke to me; like I’m some sort of idiot. Then again she spoke to everyone like that, so I shouldn’t be too offended. As Rin and I entered the room, it was eerily quiet, especially for a library; the librarian was at her front desk shuffling some papers and books around while the library club walked in-and-out of the rows of books, putting books on the shelves and reorganizing books that were out of place. A couple of students sat as some of the available tables in the room, probably studying for a class exam.
“Ms. Fumatome, find a table for us while I find the book. I’ll join you in a moment,” she said, then disappeared into the rows of books.
I didn’t object to her order, though I wanted to; I just don’t understand her, no matter how hard I try to. I sat at a table, far from the other students and the front desk, near a wind that overlooked a small flower garden; wondering why Rin needed a book to answer my questions, I stared out the window at the small garden. As I waited for Rin to return, my thoughts began to wonder about what it was I was going to ask; what past life did she mean? How did she even know that or if, my dreams were memories from a past life and not a figment of my subconscious imagination?
What am I even doing here, I thought to myself, I got here much earlier than normal that I didn’t get a chance to tell my grandparents I was leaving, not that they’d notice with the inn’s guests. I let out a sigh and jumped a moment later when a hand rested on my shoulder.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, Ms. Fumatome,” Rin’s voice rang out, in an icy way, “the selection here isn’t very good, but I was able to find what I needed.”
I nervously smiled at her and glanced at the book she was holding, “Early Japanese History”. My smile faded into a twisted confused look, why did she grad a textbook; I thought she was going to answer my questions, not study.
“Do you remember when we got lectured on Lord Narsha Murasama and his brother, Lord Nura Murasama,” she asked as she sat down at the table and flipped through the book.
“The twin lords? Yeah, why,” I asked her as she continued to flip through the book.
“The daughter of Lord Narsha was killed by her uncle, Lord Nura, when he attempted to take over their kingdom,” she said, then lay the open book in front of me, “she was fifteen.”
I looked at the page the book was open too, and quietly read bit-and-pieces of the page under my breath.
“Lord Narsha was given a high military role in the Shogun’s military party, while his brother was sent to the front line of a raging battle for more land…upon Nura’s return, he learned of his brother’s promotion to a higher rank than he was, and was about to have a child born into his name, meaning Nura’s family would become known as the branch family to Narsha’s… Fearing his brother’s rage upon hearing the news of his great fortune, Narsha took his family to a home in the neighboring province for their protection…
“Unfortunately, a bandit has been terrorizing the village where Narsha and his family now lived, and became his responsibility to capture him…Narsha ordered the capture of the bandit for execution… when the bandit was captured and about to be executed, Narsha’s daughter, Mikano, asked to spare him…and in return the bandit became her bodyguard…”
What ?! What kind of father lets a criminal look after his only daughter’s safety?
“For ten years, the princess was kept safe by the bandit; however, on the night of her fifteenth year, Nura invaded the kingdom and…”
I stopped reading and looked up at Rin, “Are you trying to say that this princess…is me?”
“It’s possible. I can’t say for sure, but everyone has a past life with something,” her words didn’t make sense, and all she did was raise more questions. I wanted to question her, but right as I opened my mouth, the first bell rang.
“Oh class is about to start,” she said, then stood up to leave, “keep the story of Lord Narsha in mind, it’s possible that there’s a ring of truth in your dreams and Narsha’s daughter’s life.” Then she left the library for her class.
I blinked after her as she left confusion, but when I glanced at the clock and the time sunk in, I rushed out of the library and towards my class; right before the tardy bell rang. Eiko and Fumie, as well as the teacher and the rest of the class, looked almost surprised that I was so close to being late. I didn’t say anything; I simply walked to my desk and sat down ready for the lesson
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