"There are times when I am feeling as if the ones who are dead, in reality, have never left me. I can sense them in the air, in the droplets of the rain, in the blanket that warms me up at night. This is what I believe. And this is what I want to be the truth."
do you know what a moth symbolises?
Strange creatures those nocturnal butterflies are. They maniacally struggle for a ray of moonlight. Their only wish, to reach the arms of Luna, their dearly beloved. Yet they stupidly fall into our trap. They stick onto fake light, believing it really is what they seek after. They are fooling themselves.
How can you mistake your one true love for an impostor?
How can you be so blind?
I haven't failed. This is but a moment before the infinity of emptiness that lies before me.
I woke up with a dreadful headache piercing my brain. Unbearable.
Thump... ... ... ... Thump... ... ... Thump... ... Thump... ThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThump
The blood vessels on my temples were pulsating like warriors marching on a bridge to nowhere.
I need me some aspirin.
Of course, Nicholas. It didn't take me too long to realise that I am not 'very much alive' anymore, of course.
When I opened my eyes, it felt kind of sticky. I needed to blink several times to widen the coin-slot vision. A death-head hawkmoth was lying idle on top of a skinny finger. Its wings were slowly going up and down, calmly bathing in the moonlight.
"Why doncha go to your mistress, lil' bud?"
The gigantic moth didn't seem to be bothered by the strange encouragement coming from an unknown voice, hidden in the dark. The sardonic laughter that followed seemed uncomfortably familiar. It was the same laughter that made me lose consciousness.
The green figure was there. Right before me. I was afraid. Why?
"You know, them moths are very misunderstood creatures. They carry messages across the realms, your wishes to your loved ones. All you gotta do is listen to their whispers."
What kind of insanity is this?
I forced my saliva down my throat. I could not possibly understand the reason why I felt so enormously scared for my life. There was no life anymore to hold onto. Yet I wanted to scream for my life. I wanted to run for my life.
But I couldn't do either.
I was immobilised, glued to my position, lost for words.
The sitting figure turned towards me, the moth disappearing from an opening. I realised we were inside some sort of a cave.
"You have awakened."
I blinked again and the area around me turned warmer. Colours began to appear. Senses started crawling back into my brain. The soft crackling of a fire, the trembling of the shadows on the rocky surface. The warmth of the flames, the smell of the wood burning. Faded memories of an unknown past went through my head. Sleepless nights, dancing around the campfire with a bottle in my hands. Spirits and laughter. Unfamiliar happiness.
But these days are over now. Or perhaps, they may have never existed.
In fear of confronting my 'company', I looked at the walls.
The horror of our shadows.
Behind the slow-burning fire, the unknown entity took form.
Horizontal lines connected to a single vertical one, all together in an arrow-shaped arrangement. A rib cage?
The bulky structure was attached to a spherical blob, with a bump on the bottom. A head?
My eyes wandered in curiosity. It was my first chance to glance at myself. I was mystified by what I was supposed to be seeing.
I looked at those hollow cavities the stranger had instead of eyes.
"You got no shadow!"
His maddening cackle echoed in my head. As he was laughing -that horrifying laugh of his- his bare jaw would vibrate, the teeth would crash against each other. I could see every detail.
A mountain of bones was indolently lounging before me. A living skeleton was facing me. Staring at me?
"Ain't no need to be afraid, son. We're both dead and there ain't nothing to do about it. Or is there?"
How am I supposed to know?
The gruesome skeleton stood up, his height way beyond average, forced to hunch from the size of the cave, and presented me his hand. I stared in awe and bewilderment. I noticed a trail on the ground between his legs. The trail began from my end to perhaps where the entrance was. Did he drag me here?
"It's your choice. Either you take my hand and stand up, in any way you can, that is, or... "
You're going to let me rot.
The skeleton shook his hand in front of my face.
"I can understand this string on that gap you have for a mouth prevents you from talking but, is your hearing damaged as well? Come on, son. I ain't leaving withoutcha."
I grabbed his hand tightly and with all of my strength I ascended from the ground, nearly huffing.
Who the hell is that guy?