After a few hours of Barnes and I doing our own things with minimal conversation, dinner eventually came. While there wasn’t a set time for it, I decided to head over around five to give the cooks some time and to beat the crowd that would inevitably come. So, being there before everyone else, I quickly ordered myself a steak. Whatever sauces and sides they use are to their discretion and my enjoyment.
In the meantime, I sat there sipping some water at my table in the corner. I guess I looked a little pathetic being alone, like a date hadn’t shown up and I still wanted to utilize my reservation. At the same time, it wasn’t like there were many passengers to begin with. Even with the extra passengers, there would still probably be around ten unfilled chairs in a fully packed dining car. Yet, as more and more passengers filed in, I remained alone.
The bigger travesty, however, was that I was still waiting on my steak. Did it really take them that long to make a bloody steak?! While contemplating on how to deal with the tragedy at hand (I was thinking of getting the riders to reenact a certain scene from Julius Caesar on the chef personally), a familiar face sat across from me.
“Hello Devi Aster,” said Barnes in a cheerful rhythmic way.
“Hi.”
“You know, you really don’t put much of a punch behind your words.”
“What do you mean?”
“As in emotion, like you keep the same tone a lot of the time.”
“What of it?”
“Well, I guess I’m fine with it, but it can be easily misinterpreted.”
I mean, he isn’t wrong. Sometimes I offend people just because I come off as not caring. Take the lady and her bodyguard for instance.
“True, but I can’t really emote well even if I tried.”
“Sure you could, like try smiling for instance.”
He then proceeded to show me a big toothy grin as if to say “here’s an example.” Not trying to disappoint, I decided to give it a go.
“Pfft.”
And with that Barnes began laughing hysterically. I guess my smile is really that bad?
“D-don’t get yourself down. It’s just that your smile kind of made you look disappointed if anything. Perhaps it was because you were consciously trying to smile. Like how if you’re taking a picture and are told to smile, you have to force your muscles to move.”
“Or it’s just how my smile is.”
“Nah, I doubt that. Surely you have a better natural smile. Don’t get yourself down about it. Also, is it just me or do the steaks take forever here?”
“Not just you. Still waiting on mine too.”
I guess if anything Barnes at least has good taste in food. From that we just started talking about seemingly random things. Apparently Barnes likes Poe’s writings for instance (which considering his chipper demeanor was the author I least expected him to like) and I told him about some of the few college stories I had. In that time our steaks finally arrived. They were pretty good I suppose, although Barnes kept insisting that they messed up the sauce.
We continued chatting normally until eventually, much to my chagrin, the lady and her bodyguard came in. Truth be told, I wasn’t expecting them to do anything in a packed car, and yet they made a beeline straight for us. Mom, Dad, I really do hope you make it to my funeral!
Oh...they were just sitting down with us...Crisis temporarily averted I hope.
“Good evening,” exclaimed Barnes in his normal chipper voice.
“Is it now,” asked the lady. “Personally, I’ve been trying to get some proper wine here, but all they have are dull and cheap ones.”
“Actually, at least three of those are worth at least a thousand dollars,” interjected Barnes.
“Exactly, cheap,” retorted the lady.
What kind of wine are you drinking?! Sounds like a rip off to me personally. Like, sometimes good tasting things don’t cost that much money. For instance, take a taste of any candy from a candy store. That stuff is delicious!
“Ooooooo-kay,” said Barnes. “Speaking of, I guess we haven’t properly greeted each other. I’m Craven Barnes. My mother was a principal and my father was a commander.”
Wait, wasn’t his mother a farmer and his father a salesman?
“I suppose both are fine jobs. Very well, I am Louise Cramer and this is my bodyguard Archie Oswald. My father is a politician in the Senate and my mother is his number one supporter”
So I now have two names for my potential murderers, oh goody.
“And who, are, you, Miss Dead Fish?”
What kind of insult is that even supposed to be? She had a good build up by stagnating the question, but Dead Fish? Really?
“Devi Aster.”
Surprisingly there was a bit of an awkward silence between the four of us that overpowered the ambient noises of the normal dining hall chatter. Then suddenly, like a magnitude 9.0 Earthquake, Cramer began laughing her head off as if she’d just heard the world’s funniest joke, yet it was only my name.
“You’re related to the Aster family,” Cramer managed to get this out through her cackling. “A fish like you is swimming among the pearls that corporation generates. Oh, how fate is so funny sometimes.”
“I-isn’t that a tad rude,” questioned Barnes, trying to stay cheerful despite the situation. “Actually, that’s beyond a tad.”
“It’s fine,” replied Louise, once again through her laughter. “Besides, the little fishie can’t feel a thing now can she?”
Tsk.
“Or perhaps I’m being too harsh on her. Maybe she does feel some things. Like... actually I can’t think of anything.”
Shut up.
“No wonder she found herself halfway across the continent from her daddy.”
Shut up!
“They were probably too embarrassed to keep a meat sack like you around them.”
SHUT UP!!!
“Louise, people are beginning to stare,” whispered Mr. Oswald.
Sure enough, the rest of the room was looking towards the commotion, likely catching wind of the insults being hurled. Some seemed to be pitying. Some seemed to be in agreement with Mrs. Cramer. And yet, none seemed to give an inkling of genuine care. Suppose you can’t expect much from strangers, but really, no one?
“My apologies,” said Mrs. Cramer, turning to the crowd of onlookers and curtseying. “Anyways, the Aster family, seriously?”
“Yes. What of it?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing. That’s just the best laugh I’ve had in awhile. Not as good as watching the stock market crash though. I mean, should’ve earned more money before you lost your job, huh.”
Wait...what? That’s your idea of funny? Did I end up in Hell or something and just never notice? Perhaps the train derailed while I blinked.
“I, uh, don’t think that’s necessarily funny,” said Barnes with a wavering smile.
“Comedy is subjective isn’t it?”
There’s a limit to subjectivity woman!
“Besides, if I wallowed in everyone’s sorrow every time something bad happens, life would be nothing but sorrow.”
“That’s a corrupted line of thinking,” I replied.
“Oh what do you know about living happily,” scoffed Mrs. Cramer. “You obviously have never been happy in the slightest. In contrast, I’ve lived happily all my life.”
“Happiness can be considered as the lack of sadness. Not knowing the latter, how can you say you know the former?”
“What kind of stupid idea is that?! Happiness is merely synonymous with feeling good. If I’m always feeling good, then I don’t need any sadness for it.”
“Um, I think that might bite you back one day,” added Barnes.
“I fail to see how. After all, with the wealth I have, making happiness is as easy as snapping my fingers.”
“I find it hard to believe that that is happiness.”
“Oh,” said Mr.s Cramer smugly. “You would think that of all people, a member of the Aster family would know the benefits of money. Did your parents cut you off completely then?”
“No. They paid my college funds and living expenses.”
“Ah, pity expenses then.”
“Pity expenses,” asked Barnes.
“Oh right, I guess your parents would have actually cared for you. It’s when you give someone the bare minimum to get by solely on the basis of them being family.”
“T-that’s wrong.”
Truth be told, I couldn’t hold back a stutter in saying that. While I wanted to believe they didn’t hate me, I hadn’t interacted with them in a while. Maybe they did begin to despise me.
“It would be bad if word got out that the head of the company simply abandoned a daughter. Normally, you’d at least marry her off to foster some business connections, but I suppose with your lack of charms that would be impossible.”
“T-that’s..”
“It’s not wrong at all, Dead Fish,” interrupted Mrs. Cramer. “I know how the business of connections works, and that especially applies in regards to influential groups and people. All you were was a liability to them. Dead weight that couldn’t be cast off by normal means. Thus, to cut you from the boat, they severed the part you were attached to. Although, I suppose that part was only pocket change to them. Easily recuperated by loyal customers and of no loss to the company. Thus, it is the perfect solution from a business perspective and the perfect excuse to get rid of trash like you.”
With that, I found myself unable to speak and the room around me fell silent. How was I supposed to respond to that? Could I even respond to that? I felt like I was going to burst into tears if I even tried and with that I’d probably be mocked even further. Thus, all I could do was quiver in my seat and stare down. When I finally regained an inkling of my composure, all I could do was get up and quickly rush out. All throughout, I could feel the piercing eyes of those around me. Even if they didn’t hear the whole conversation, they likely caught bits of it, and they definitely heard that last part. Yet, no one did a thing. All you could hear were whispers, some pitying and some the opposite, and only one voice even tried to stand out.
“D-Devi, you forgot your steak,” shouted Barnes.
A steak? A bloody steak?! That’s all you can talk about despite hearing the whole thing?! Do I have a single ally in this world at this point?!
As I walked through the cars towards my cabin, repressing any signs of sadness as I went. Once there, all I wanted to do was shut myself off from the world and make sure it wouldn’t bear its hateful fangs at me again. So, I locked my door, got out a book, my only friend in this cruel world, and shut myself off from the rest of this stupid situation.
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