"So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?

Well, my guess the answer is don't do it in the first place

I know, I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now"

~The Special Two, Missy Higgins

...

"That man was all over you," he pointed out watching her scowl at him. Her cheeks flamed pink. "When that other guy called you, you freaked. But this one here, which you didn't even know by the way, was okay?"

Her scowl turned into a hard glare. "Kyle is an asshole."

"How do you know Alonzo is not an asshole?"

"He didn't act like one. Doesn't look like one."

"Looks aren't everything."

"Exactly. You're good to look at, but are an asshole."

Ben spit out his drink, gaping at her.

Ben didn't know how to answer to her comment.

"Seriously?" Elena handed him a napkin with a scoff. She watched him trying to pat dry his shirt before turning to her food.

He tried to catch her eye, but she was looking at her food intently as she cut her chicken into small pieces, blatantly ignoring him. She had a smug look on her face.

He wasn't sure how to take her comment. She had both complimented and offended him in the same sentence.

"How am I an asshole?"

"You were acting like one, right now." She pointed at him with her fork. "I'm not 100% sure that Alonzo would turn out to be an asshole or not, but he acted like a total gentleman. Now, you came over and didn't even say hello, straight up started giving him the cold shoulder and were quite... obnoxious. Even then, he hadn't mentioned anything weird to try to hit on me thinking that I was with you, as a couple. He thought we were married," she finished with a roll of her eyes.

"Was that the part where you started freaking out and saying no?"

"Yup."

"I don't... understand." He didn't understand why he felt upset that she had reacted that way when Alonzo had asked her about her marriage status. Didn't understand why he felt bad that she'd pointed out how he could be an asshole. Didn't understand the...possessiveness he felt at having the other man hitting on her. And why the hell had he asked her if she was married? He didn't elaborate on what he didn't understand and Elena didn't ask.

"Sorry." He mumbled as he focused on his food.

"It's okay. Just please don't be weird," she told him. "We're not dating. We work together, and you're my... friend. Please don't ruin our new friendship by acting like a jealous boyfriend." Cheeks red, she gave him a look which had him biting his tongue. "I don't think Sherry would appreciate the comments."

He sighed. She was right. He had forgotten about Sherry and how he'd told her they could start over, start right. Now, here he was, having lunch, on a road trip with another woman who happened to be one he was currently seeing.

"I apologize."

"Okay."

They ate their food mostly in silence, with the occasional observation made by either one of them.

..

After lunch, they ended up driving down to find a room for the night. It had gone completely over her head that they would more than likely stay the night in Fort Bragg before heading out the next day. Now, as the prospect of either staying in the same room with a man or staying in a strange room by herself, started giving her a bit of anxiety, her stomach turning slightly. She tried to brave it through, telling herself that she needed to be brave for herself. That she was strong and that it was time that she did things for herself without letting her past control her.

Her bravery only lasted until they couldn’t find two available rooms, but either couple suites or double beds, but still one room. In the end, Ben remembered that he’d stayed at a cozy lodge-style hotel that oversaw the beach before and they decided to go check that out. As luck would have it, the last available lodge was one with two beds and Elena shrugged her anxiety off after considering that he probably wouldn’t try to do anything funny.

They checked in at the front office, were given their lodge name and keys, and headed to the lodge/room to check it out and drop their bags off.

“Oh, my word,” Elena started as she came into the room, Ben coming in behind her with Kevin who stretched happily and went to find a corner to lay on, apparently ready to doze off. It wasn’t super extra fancy, but what immediately caught Elena’s eye was the sliding door at the other end of the room where the curtains were pulled back allowing the afternoon sun to fall into the room. She could see the blue of the ocean beyond the glass doors and she tried to keep herself from squealing excitedly. “We have a direct view from the ocean?” She asked Ben as she turned around to look at him.

He nodded with a smile. “Sure do. I stayed here once before when I was road tripping along the coast to Oregon. It’s very calm around here, nothing crazy. I apologize that we couldn’t find anything else with two separate rooms.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Elena waved him off as she dumped her bags onto one of the beds and went over to see out the door. There was a small patio with some chairs for them to hang out outside if they wanted to. “I think the view is great! I love this! Can we go for a run later? I want to go check out the trail.” She pointed at a man who ran past in the direction of the beach.

“Yeah, totally. Here, go ahead and pick a bed, and we can do that.”

Of course, she picked the bed closest to the sliding door.

 She grabbed some leggings and a sports bra from her duffel bag and headed to the bathroom to change into them. She was pulling her sports bra over her head when she stopped to stare at herself. With a frown, she touched her waist where it was all soft and squishy, in her opinion. She was always running, trying to eat healthy, to drink tons of water, but felt she was always too lazy to do any other type of exercise to help her tone up. She was squishy and she doubted she’d ever have toned abs. She was fat. 

Ugh. She dragged on the sports bra, refusing to glance at her heavy breasts, the tiny stretch marks on the sides from when she’d been heavier. Thank god that no one was going to be looking at her naked because they’d be disgusted. She was already disgusted of her own body and didn’t need to hear it from anyone else.

Pulling on same thin black shirt she had been wearing and the same green hoodie, she headed back out to the room. Ben was in the middle of pulling a shirt over his head when she came out and she caught a glimpse of his toned abdomen. She felt her face heat up and she looked away in disgust at herself for noticing that.

But the man was truly beautiful. 

He wasn’t extremely buff, but had well-tone abs either way, broad chest with light sprinkling of blond hair, and strong looking arms. He had turned in the middle of dressing himself and she had seen his back—strong looking as well and surprisingly broader than he appeared under all his scrubs and dress shirts.

She waited until he noticed her and called her before turning away from a booklet she was pretending to intently be reading.

“Ready?”

“Uh, yeah, I just need to get my shoes,” she motioned for her bag and walked around him to her bags. She found her shoes and put them on while he looked for Kevin’s leash. “Alright, I’m all set.”

“We can actually head out from the patio,” he explained and showed her how there was a couple of steps leading down to the trail. She grinned excitedly.

“This is pretty awesome!” She grinned widely, clearly taken with the sight of the beach, the open field that laid open before them across from the trail and the sound of the ocean. He locked the door and they headed down the steps.

She was still smiling widely, looking out towards the ocean when he looked over at her, her hair framed in the afternoon sun, making it shine brighter and redder than usual like a beautiful halo of fire.

His heart jumped again, that same off clenching in his chest catching him off-guard, making him nearly miss the last step down the stairs.

He stopped. He didn’t like that feeling. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but he didn’t like it.

.

They had been walking in silence for a while, the only sounds from the waves crashing against the shore, seagulls, and trees rustling in the breeze. Elena was enjoying the views, thinking back to the many times that her father had driven the family across the state on road trips. 

The last road trip she'd been on was when she was about eight and her parents had decided to tie the knot. Elena had been surprised to find that her parent's hadn't been married before that, even if they had been together since the time they finished high school.

They'd driven across California and down to Las Vegas for an impromptu wedding, her mother's two friends going with them as witnesses. They had wandered around town, stayed at Circus Circus, seen the shows and driven back home two days after. The year after that, her father had suddenly become ill and died a couple months afterwards. Her mother was strong, having to raise Elena and Elliot alone while working as well. There hadn't been a lot of money to spend after her father's death and not enough free time to drop things and just wander around the country.

Now that she was older, graduated from college and gotten her degree and nursing license, Elena was glad to be able to help her mother with the bills and with Elliot. Her younger brother took most of her mother's time.

"What are you thinking about?"

Elena sighed, "My mother and my brother. I was just remembering the last time that I had gone on a road trip as a family."

"Where was it to?" 

"Las Vegas."

"Oh. Girls' night out?" Ben asked with a grin and she scowl.

"No. When my parents decided to get married. They piled me and brother up into the car and my dad drove us down to Las Vegas so they could get married. We spent two days in the city and then my dad drove us back home."

Ben thought for a moment before something click in his head. "Didn't you say that he passed away when you were a little girl?"

 "Yeah." She gave him a soft smile. "It's been a while."

"It's been more than a while." He frowned slightly. "And you didn't want to come with? You need a vacation."

"This is a vacation. What we're doing right now. I'm relaxing." 

"No.  I mean like taking more than three days off. Maybe taking two week or more off from work."

"I can't afford to use that much PTO." She scowled back at him. "I have bills to pay."

"What could possibly be more important that taking a day off?" He took Kevin's leash off and let him run around them a little bit. They had reached the beach and the tide wasn't too crazy yet.  They watched the dog do a couple of circles barking at some seagulls.

"My brother."

Ben looked at Elena who was staring out to the water. "Is something wrong with him? Is he sick?"

"Yes and no. He's just very... I don't want to say 'time-consuming', but he is. Not in a bad way. I love him with all my heart and I wish that I could help him live his best life, you know? My mother was working a part-time job, trying to raise us both, and it was very exhausting for her. I work now, and I can help her with his medical bills. He used to be sick a lot when he was little, but he's gotten much better now. I don't want her to work extra hard when she already deals day in and day out with taking care of my brother..." She sighed and looked down at her hands. "Elliot is... special. He needs a little extra help."

"Huh." Ben stared at her as she mused about her brother. From what she had just explained, Elliot was her brother, not some guy she was seeing like had previously believed. He felt like an idiot and didn't mention his realization to her. Already, she'd told him to stop acting weird, like a jealous boyfriend since they were only friends. 

He felt like an idiot. 

"So, Elliot is unable to work to help himself? And your mother is his caregiver?" Ben started, half questioning, half sure he was understanding her explanation.

"Yes. He's got heart issues, asthma, was recently diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. It's been a whole ordeal. He was also a preemie, so that especially didn't help the poor kid out. But he's a fighter, and my mother is stubborn, so she's not going to let him go down easily." She said the last part with a chuckle before raising her eyes up to Ben's. "I've got my own shit that I have to deal with and I'm not about to go about and burden my mother with anything extra that she doesn't need. So as much as stubbornness and fighters go, I'm right along with them, I suppose."

"So, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you've never told your mom about your panic attacks?" Ben watched Elena's face pale slightly and she shook her head at him, turning away from him at the same time. "How come? I'm sure she'd be willing to listen to you, if she's as stubborn as you're saying she is."

"She's already had to deal with my recklessness once and I don't plan to make her go through it again."

Ben put his arm around her shoulder before he could stop himself and could feel her tense immediately. She stood really still, watching him out of the corner of her eye, but didn't say anything.  After what seemed like forever, she relaxed into his arm. 

"You're not alone, you know?"

"I know. I...just...All the stupid things in my past don't need to become another burden for my mom. I know her, she feels things so deeply, it would break her heart. I love her too much to hurt her." Elena dropped her head and shoulders in defeat. 

"I meant as in me. You have me. You have Ruby. A lot of people at work care about you. You're not alone, no matter what you say. I'm sure nothing you have done in the past is so horrible that your mom can't forgive you."

"It's not much of a matter of what I've done, but more like what's happened to me..."Elena murmured, clenching her hands slightly. 

"Elena, what's ha-"

"Well, what are the odds that we would run into each other again!"

Elena felt Ben tense up next to her and she lifted her head. They both turned to find none other than Alonzo coming up a path with a dog on a leash in one hand, and holding the hand of what appeared to be a girl of about four years old with the other. She had brown hair which was parted into two high pigtails. She was was sporting a pout and wide teary eyes.

"Alonzo!" Elena said with a smile. Ben frowned, but said nothing. He dropped his arm as Elena went over to greet the other man. 

"I'm going to go get Kevin before he comes barreling over." He informed them before wandering towards the beach to find his big goof of a dog.

Elena squatted to be eye level with the girl who was trying to hide behind Alonzo's arm, still pouting.

"Who's this beauty?" Elena asked with a smile as she watched the girl trying to ignore her.

"This would be Ana Maria." Alonzo said as he reached down to lift the girl on his arm. She threw her arm around his neck at once. Elena smiled at that, thinking back to how she had been shy as a child as well.

"Okay." Elena said as she stood.

"She's my daughter."

Elena gaped at Alonzo.

"Oh."