I open my eyes to a dim room, the only light shining directly on an empty chair. It looks more like a throne, with velvet seats and the frame gleaming under the light with a metallic sheen. I don’t know why I’m here. The last thing I remember is falling down a set of concrete steps and landing face-first.

When I look behind me I see three other… people? There’s a woman with green skin and hair wearing a dress made of vines, a blond dude with pink fairy wings that looks like he lives in a dumpster, and a satyr kid who couldn’t be more than 13. The only thing he’s wearing is a bow and quiver. All three of them look just as confused as me, but before I have the chance to say anything a voice resounds from in front of me.

“Pity that it’s such a small group this time. Doesn’t seem very entertaining.”

I quickly turn back to the chair. Now a man sits on with pale skin and long blond hair, looking down at us with a sneer.

“And what’s that supposed to mean!?” I say through clenched teeth.

“Nothing that concerns murderers like you. All you need to know is that you’re dead, and this is your chance at redemption. I’m sending you through 100 lives, and if you prove yourself to me then I won’t kill you.”

“That’s hardly an incentive to put up with this nonsense. What will you do if we refuse to participate?” the green lady asks.

“Then I’ll just kill you now,” he says with a lighthearted smile, which is somehow also the most creepy shit I’ve ever seen.

“And who are you to judge us, you pompous ass?” I say quickly, trying to push down my uncertainty.

“I’m a god, you fools. It’s time for you to leave. I tire of your whining.”

The world goes black before I have a chance to respond.

Murderers, huh? Fuck that. I don’t need to be ‘redeemed.’ I know I fucked up, but it wasn’t fucking murder!