"Do you regret committing to me?" Lyssa asked.

"No, never! I love you, and nothing and no one will change that. You are stuck with me, you stupid vampire so you better deal with it." Bex pouted before snuggling up closer to Lyssa.

"Before we made love, I felt a spike in jealousy from you. For Joan. Is that why you attacked me?"

Bex got silent.

"Do you love her?" Lyssa asked.

"I don't know, I'm confused," Bex admitted.

"Tell me."

"When I'm around you everything feels so right. I love you so much. I can't think about being with anyone but you. But...Joan... she is a soft spot for me. I've known her almost my whole life. I mean when I found out she liked me like that, it just made so much sense for us to be together. Then I met you and everything changed. I'm just confused."

"What do you feel for her? Describe it for me."

"I feel obligated to return her feelings. I didn't even think I liked her like that at all until we kissed. She was hurting and she's changed so much in these past few months that I'm just worried about her. I can see myself being with her, I can see us being happy together. I think about how one day I'll be too old for you and you won't want me when I'm old. So part of me just wonders why I am putting myself through all this if it's just going to be taken away one day. If I could be happy with her if I could settle down with her, then why do I hate the idea of leaving you for her so much?"

"It doesn't have to be this way. I could change you. We could be together forever."

"And when you say stuff like that, you freak me out!" Bex pulled out of Lyssa's arms completely.

"Why?"

"Because! You sound so sure that I'm the one, that you will always love me. But what if I am not the one? What if you meet someone else? What if you change me, then change your mind about me? What if you leave me all alone as a vampire? I won't know what to do, or how to control myself. That scares me. Forever is a concept that I can't understand. Forever doesn't exist, what if you get tired of me? What if we grow apart like you and Lacy? If I am going to leave my whole life behind for you, I just really want to be sure that what I feel for you is real and not just some dumb high school phase."

"Then how can I make you sure?" Lyssa got up and grabbed Bex's hands in her own.

"I don't know Lyssa, I really don't. This is what I am talking about, this is a lot of pressure to live up to some higher standard. I never asked for this, but now that I have it I am afraid to lose it all."

"I want you to be sure, I want you to commit to me. You have already committed your soul to me, why is it so hard to commit your body and heart?"

"I don't know." Bex's voice shook.

"You do whatever you have to do to be sure. If that means we need to take a break so you can pursue other feelings for other people, then I am willing to take that chance."

"Don't lie. I know you. I know the moment I agree to that you will be heartbroken. I know if I kiss her again, you won't love me anymore."

"Not true, unlike you I know how I feel and I will always love you. Even if you decide to be with her. I am sure, I just want you to be sure too."

"I am sure until I'm not. I love you, only you could truly understand how I feel about you. You know how I feel because you feel it too. You can read my thoughts and emotions. You know I mean it when I say it. I love you, Lyssa. I'd do anything for you. I'm just scared. Forever is not something I am sure I want, or even deserve."

"Why is that?"

"Because... there are so many great and wonderful people in the world. They don't get the chance to live forever. And then there is me, just some nobody. Not only that but it scares me to think that I will have to watch my family grow up and not be able to grow up with them. That one day everyone I know and love will be dead. You would be all I had and if something ever happened to you, I would be all alone. That scares me. I know you want me to be a vampire with you, but I am just not sure I could ever do that. That's a lot. You are asking a lot and I don't know if I am strong enough, or worthy enough to really do it."

"It sounds like you've really thought about this." Lyssa looked into Bex's hazel eyes.

"I have. Ever since I met you I have. I know one day the time will come when I will have to pick you over everything else, and I don't know if I can." Tears slid down Bex's cheek.

Lyssa swallowed a lump in her throat and dropped Bex's hands.

"I see," Lyssa said.

"I would never get to do a lot of things. Never have kids, never get my first grey hair, or complain to my sister about our aching bones. Never get to have my first beer or go on some crazy spring break party in college with all my friends. Never get to celebrate getting older on my birthday. Don't you see, I want all of those things. I want to grow up, I want to grow old and experience every bit of life."

"Then maybe we should end this now before things get even more complicated," Lyssa said.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Bex asked.

"It feels like you are the one breaking up with me." Lyssa forced a laugh.

"Lyssa I love you."

"But you love life more, not that I could blame you. I would give anything to trade places with you."

"Don't leave me."

"Would you ever consider turning for me?" Lyssa's voice was small and unsure. Lyssa herself took a few steps away from Bex and wrapped her arms around herself as a way to try and shield herself from the pain she was feeling.

"I don't know," Bex said honestly.

"That's not an answer"

"Lyssa I don't—"

"It's a yes or no! Would you ever want to spend forever with me? Could you ever give it up?"

Bex opened her mouth but nothing came out.

Lyssa turned away from her, Bex didn't need to say it out loud. Lyssa could hear her thoughts and the answer was clear, no.

Bex wanted to live more than she wanted to be with Lyssa.

"Lyssa..."

"This is over. I'm breaking up with you. We can be friends and will continue to be bonded, but that is it. I will find the answers you need, but for now. I need space."

"Okay." Bex closed her eyes tighter and tried to hold back her tears but she failed.

She quickly moved to put some pants on and watched as Lyssa did the same. They shared an uneasy look before Lyssa scooped her up in her arms and rushed Bex back home.

"Goodbye, my love. I will need a few days but promise to resume normal behavior after that. We can still be friends."

"I'd like that." Bex forced a smile.

"Get some rest, I will try and find you the answers as to why your dreams contain my memories. If you need me, you need only think of me. And I'll be here."

Bex nodded.

Lyssa kissed her softly on the forehead and then sped away.

Bex felt sick to her stomach. She didn't want to break up with Lyssa. She didn't want to end what she had, but she had no choice. The thought of her and Lyssa never being together again made her woozy. She stumbled up the steps to her house and walked in.

"There you are, where did you go? I went up to your room but you were gone!" Her mom said.

Bex held herself, trying to keep it together for her parents. But her lip trembled and her knees felt weak. Tears silently streamed down her cheeks at a steady pace, not to mention it just felt harder to breathe in general.

"What happened?" her mom ran to her.

Bex whimpered before thrusting herself into her mother's arms. Her mom yelped in surprise and quickly engulfed her daughter in a hug.

Bex let out gurgled cries that could only be described as the sound of someone's heart actually breaking. They were soft, broken, pain-filled cries. Bex's whole body trembled now. She had never felt pain like the one she was feeling now. Not even when Lyssa had run away from her. This was different, this felt more permanent. She had a feeling what had just been done, could not be easily undone.

It was over.

Lyssa had officially dumped her.

If there was one thing Bex never accounted for, it was how much this would actually hurt.