The two of them froze in their seats. Archie got up and walked toward the door and cocked his revolver. Elizabeth tried to take the gun but Archie shooed her hands away. He opened the door slightly and peeked his face out of the small opening. A well-groomed bald young man looked at him with a confused face and greeted him.

“Who are you?” the well-groomed bald young man asked.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Archie replied.

“Is this Elizabeth’s apartment?”

“No. This is my apartment, and you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

“I asked who you were, dumbass.” Archie raised his voice, a little irritated.

“Actually, I asked who you were. You just said, ‘I should be asking you the same thing.’ Not really a question. So…”

Archie wanted to kill this man. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Charlie?” Elizabeth peeked from behind the door. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Elizabeth can we talk?”

“Uh, okay…”

Archie slammed the door and locked it. “You kidding me, right?”

“Oh, just let him in,” Elizabeth said. “And put your gun away!”

“Are you really going to talk to this asshole? He cheated on you with his roommate. Or even worse, you could even be his side chick and he’s suffering from a pussy withdrawal.”

“I am not the side chick, here! I’m the victim! Roger’s the side…uh?”

“Side cock? Huh... What do you call men who are playing the side chick role? If we’re going for a chicken theme here, side cock would be acceptable, right?”

“Look, I’m just going to have a civil conversation with him. We didn’t have a chance to talk, so he has some explaining to do. Like, a lot.”

“Well, I ain’t lettin’ him in. ‘Cause you two are going to have a terrible fight; and the last thing I need is two people arguing about their failed relationship in my apartment. That’s bad feng shui! And you’ve done enough damage in that department already.”

“I can handle this, Archie. Just move your fat ass and let him in.”

“Fat ass?” Archie’s face turned red and began to furiously unlock the door. He mumbled to himself. “Okay, okay. Fat ass, huh? Okay. I’m just trying to be a good friend, fucking ungrateful, masturbating, bitch… Fine, go ruin your life for all I care…” Archie looked at Charlie and yelled at him. “You, Baldy. Get in here.”

Charlie walked in cautiously. Archie glared at him and studied him. Elizabeth took a deep breath and prepared herself for the encounter. Charlie and Elizabeth stared at each other for a good five seconds.

The smell of gasoline filled the air.

“I’ll be in the kitchen. I’ve got to make a call, see how my ship’s repairs are going.” Archie slinked away but turned back to Charlie. He squinted at him before scanning him with his scanner. The light blinded Charlie.

“Archie! Some privacy, please?” Elizabeth asked.

Archie glared at Charlie one last time before turning to Elizabeth. “Don’t let him step on my carpet. It’s made from dying alpacas in South America—a rare commodity.” Archie placed his gun on the side table, grabbed his phone, and made his way to the kitchen. He mumbled to himself as he dialed his friend’s number. Elizabeth and Charlie were alone in the living room.

“Is that a gun?” Charlie asked with a shaky, concerned voice.

“What do you want, Charlie?” Elizabeth crossed her arms tightly.

“I just wanted to tell you that you left a box of your stuff at my place. If you could just, pick it up. That would be great. Also, I think Roger might throw it away—“

“Unbelievable.” Elizabeth placed her hands on her waist.

“It’s a box of your porn, I think.”

Archie laughed out loud from the kitchen.

“I cannot believe you,” Elizabeth said. “We don’t talk for a month and the first thing you say to me is ‘grab your porn’? You broke my heart, Charlie!”

“Look, I didn’t mean to. It just…”

“Just what?”

“I didn’t think it would end the way it did?”

“What? What did you think was going to happen? I mean—having sex covered in gasoline…the fuck was that about? And with Roger? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“Roger’s crazy that way. He likes it. It turns him on.”

“Yeah, well I should’ve turned on the fucking fly zapper and thrown it in the garage and burned your cheating ass!”

“Look, you don’t need to be harsh,” Charlie snapped back.

“Oh, yes I do!” Elizabeth raised her voice. “We had a thing, Charlie. We were in love!”

Charlie shrugged. “Eh…”

Elizabeth twitched. “Eh?” She began to menacingly inch towards Charlie like a hyena closing in on its prey, or like a cat cornering a carrot, but this carrot’s alive and irked the feline about paying the rent—and after years of hearing this orange vegetable yelling and whining about the rent, the cat decided it’s time for the carrot to die. “Eh? What do you mean, Eh?”

“Elizabeth,” Charlie said, as he backed up. He tried to avoid her but she circled him like a shark. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to get out of control. Now, can you cut that out? It’s really creepy.”

“We told secrets, we shared spoons, we fucked—the best fucks either of us ever had.”

“Yeah, it was some of the best fucks I had to give.” Charlie tried to distance himself, but then he decided to get ready to fight, anticipating the predator.

“We planned a perfect life together!”

“No! You planned our life together. That’s your problem, Elizabeth! You want to control everything like some goddamn puppet master! You were jumping to some heavy-ass conclusions.”

“You tore my heart out, and left me for that big nosed, pigeon-chested, piece of shit, gear-head roommate of yours.” Elizabeth readied herself to pounce.

“Don’t talk shit about Roger,” Charlie hissed. “He’s ten times a better lover than you ever were. He’s not an obsessive control freak. He’s smarter, cultured—everything you aren’t. He makes more as a car mechanic than…whatever it is you do!”

“I’m a research analyst!”

“See. You’re boring; he’s more hands on. And that’s why he’s a better lover.”

Elizabeth’s eyes were red with rage. Hell hath no fury…

“And you know what else?” Charlie taunted.

“What?”

“I didn’t cheat on you. I was cheating on him!”

Quiet.

“What?” Elizabeth said in a whisper.

“Roger and I have been together longer than you and I have been sleeping together. We got into a fight and I wanted to hurt him. So I went to you. Then, things sort of, just, spiraled out of my control. I didn’t mean to.”

“I loved you…”

Charlie sighed. “I never did.”

A tear sluiced down Elizabeth’s cheek, and before she can let out a cry, her eyebrows contorted into a scowl. Elizabeth snapped and pounced at Charlie. She delivered a flurry of scratches, punches, and kicks. Charlie covered his bald head before falling on the floor. Elizabeth jumped on top of him and began unleashing all her pent up rage on the poor man. Charlie’s eyes glared with fury and he tried to retaliate. They were like two lions engaged in territorial combat; like thunder and lightning; like two homeless men fighting over a bench—it was glorious! The two rolled around on the carpet and knocked over the side table.Archie's gun tumbled to the floor. Charlie overpowered Elizabeth and attempted to restrain her by holding her arms to her chest and pressed down hard enough so that she’d be unable to move. Elizabeth managed to break free of his hold and tried to grab anything around her to hit Charlie with.

“You crazy bitch. You ripped my sweater.” Charlie yelled.

“Fuck you and your sweater. You have shitty taste anyway, you bald piece of shit!”

“And you’re insecure as fuck and you have abandonment issues. You disgust me and you’re repulsive, you slutty whore bitch!”

Elizabeth struggled and grabbed hold of something. “You cheating, manipulative, selfish—”

Bang! Charlie’s head exploded.