Elizabeth’s first instinct was to grab the gun. Archie looked at her.

“What?” Elizabeth said. “We don’t need witnesses,”

Archie boomed in laughter. “You are psycho, girl.” Archie walked over to the door and peeked through the hole. “Hey!” Archie opened the door and greeted the visitor in a foreign language. He was a short stubby person with the face of a blob fish. He had thick skin, and on his thick right arm was a tattoo of an alien planet with five rings. He had on a tank top and overalls; and was wearing a trucker hat with the words: Fuck bitches, get hookers. Overall, he looked pretty normal. 

He waddled into the room carrying a large garbage bag with a putrid smell. Elizabeth took a second to get a good look at him. This man did not seem out of the ordinary. Still, she thought. Why was he replying to Archie in this unfamiliar language? Who was this man, and how did they meet? Elizabeth stared at Archie and his friend.

“Elizabeth, meet Jok-Op-Pop-Ko-Pop. He’s a Plokoid from the planet, well, Plokoid” Archie introduced his friend. “Jok-Op-Pop-Ko-Pop, this is Elizabeth.”

“Please, just call me Jo,” he said in a perfectly normal voice—he had a raspy voice, actually, and he sounded like a fish out of water that needed an electrolarynx to speak. Besides that, he was still pretty normal. He waddled towards Elizabeth and offered a handshake. Elizabeth returned the handshake, still a little shaken. Jo noticed the pool of blood and body in the center of the room. “Damn, look at that mess.”

“Right? It’s all over the carpet. It’s ruined now. I can’t take it.” Archie let out a disappointed sigh. “You got what I asked?”

“Stranger Things: seasons one and two. You’re welcome.” Jo handed Archie a pirated DVD.

“There’re two seasons?” Archie let out a childish gasp. “I’ve been gone too long!”

“Shame about your carpet, Arch. It was a masterpiece. But y’know what? I know a guy. He could hook you up. If anything I’ll send it to you at your hideout in Hortemede. Just give me the credits and you have yourself a new vicuña carpet.”

“Jo, you are the man.” Archie hugged him. “Or should I say, you are the Plokoid.”

Jo smiled and turned to Elizabeth. “Your friend here saved my ass from those Laxatite bastards. I owe him everything.” Elizabeth smiled at the stubby man, unsure how to react. “You’re very lucky to have a friend like him.”

“Yes,” Elizabeth said. “Very lucky…”

“Well, the ship’s outside. She comin’ with?”

“I don’t know. Are you, Lizbeth?”

Ship? Elizabeth looked at Charlie. “Ship? What is he talking about? Why are you guys talking in such a weird language, what is it? Arabic? Russian? Yiddish? You said he’s an alien, but he looks like a normal guy. I, mean, I-I… I killed Charlie and you said that he was an alien, but then he’s not? I’m so confused.” Elizabeth sat down on the couch to make sense of things.

“Elizabeth,” Archie said. “Remember what I said about you over-thinking things? Stop it. Okay? Look, I’m not lying to you. I was really abducted by aliens. I mean you can ask Jo. We were in the gladiator matches together.”

“It’s true. Archie’s pretty handy with a lo-pok-pok-lo,” Jo said.

“A what?” Elizabeth asked. Elizabeth shook her head, still not getting it.

“An alien weapon,” Archie said. “Look, I’m not going to ask you to believe me. Instead I’ll ask you a simple question, and I want a simple answer: are you coming?”

Elizabeth is stunned. “What?”

“Are you coming?” Archie repeated. “Yes or no?”

“Archie,” Elizabeth said. “Look, Archie, I’m really happy that you’re back home safe. I really am. But if this is just one, big, elaborate joke, I have to say…you are really dedicated to your craft. You’re also an asshole for it. But, it’s been a long day, and we’ve got to get rid of this body. I am gonna need to see a shrink after today, Arch. This is too much for me. I got work tomorrow morning, I had plans for the week…”

“Elizabeth,” Archie stopped her. “We both know that’s bullshit. You got nothing to do, you hate your job, and you killed your ex. You’ve got a shitty life here on planet Earth, possibly jail time. But out there? You could be anyone. Hell, you could be the Chewbacca to my Solo.”

“I thought you were Boba Fett?”

“Okay fine, you could be Bossk. Y’know, the green reptile alien that Vader hired to find Solo in Empire? That’s not important. Look, you step out of that door and you can be anything you want. You can do anything or be anyone you want. You can start a new life—new slate, no questions asked. You want a drug-fueled, rock ‘n’ roll trip? Go ahead, that’s your choice. You want to live a quiet, fairly normal, suburban life on an alien planet? Say no more, fam. That life is yours. But, you stay here in this apartment—in this living room—with your dead, bisexual, ex-boyfriend, that’s the end of your race, man. I’m giving you an opportunity to run a bit longer.”

Tears rolled down Elizabeth’s eyes. She’s smiling.

“I thought the whole point of the living room is to live in this room?”

Archie smiled. “Yeah, but not with a dead guy in it.” The two friends share a laugh. “Come on. What do you say?”

Despite being a cynical bastard, he has a taste for optimism, Elizabeth noted. Elizabeth stared at Archie’s eyes—a pair of manic supernovas, unpredictable and dangerous. But like all supernovas, there was a certain glimmer of life, a taste for adventure; something that she lacked. She stared at the red puddle in the middle of the room. Charlie’s headless body hugged the vicuña carpet. It’s almost beautiful, she thought. If it weren’t for the fact that it’s a complete act of unadulterated murder. She looked at Jo, the alleged immigrant from a distant star, and then at her best friend, who was waiting for an answer and with a smile as wide as the couch.

Elizabeth got up from the couch and walked back into the bedroom.

Archie’s smile faded. Like a soldier who’s been defeated, he walked toward the door but Jo nudged him to look back. Elizabeth emerged with her coat, her backpack, and laptop. They smiled at each other and hugged.

“Fuck yeah! Let’s go, Elizabeth. This is gonna be so much fun. I still have some poch-poch-nu-poch stashed away. You’re gonna love it,” Archie cheered. “Lead the way, Jo.”

“Roger that,” Jo said. Elizabeth’s face grimaced at the word.

“I wouldn’t say ‘Roger’ around her. It’s a trigger,” Archie whispered.

“Copy that,” Jo said. “By the way, you will not believe what I have in this bag. Someone threw away a perfectly good dog. I think I’m gonna make some stew…”

“Wait,” Archie said. He turned to Elizabeth. “What about the body?”

Elizabeth looked at the body of her ex boyfriend. 

“Leave it to some reliable, good Samaritan.”