Dingo the Dingo was bored. He was bored of all existence. He had died and come back, and he didn’t feel like there was any point to anything anymore. He didn’t want to willfully die again because that wouldn’t make a good story. So he decided to become a villain. There was no point in doing anything else, so why not?

Dingo didn’t exactly know what to do as a villain. Villains usually built big robots, right? Dingo decided to build a big robot. He gathered a couple of carboard boxes, some paint, some tape, and a bag of Wonder Bread™ and got to work.

After a couple of hours, Dingo had finished his robot. It was two cardboard boxes filled with Wonder Bread™ taped together and painted red.

Dingo ordered his robot to destroy the city. It fell over. Dingo sat on his robot and pondered life as a villain while eating chunks of Wonder Bread™.

Dingo decided to advertise himself to make people notice him and be scared of him. So Dingo asked his mom to drive him out to the middle of nowhere to find a billboard to advertise himself on. His mom gladly complied.

When Dingo found the right billboard, he used his mom’s secret stash of Wonder Bread™ that she kept in the back of her car to build a Wonder Bread™ ladder. Once he was finished, Dingo jumped off the top and landed on the billboard. It was a Wonder Bread™ billboard. Dingo used spray paint to write ‘Dingo is evil’ with a detailed illustration of his face on the billboard, but was careful not to cover up the Wonder Bread™ slogan.

Dingo went home and waited for people to be scared of him. Dingo waited for four hours and then felt something from deep inside his dingo instinct.

A fly, down in North Ohio had seen his billboard and was insanely terrified of Dingo. Dingo began to celebrate.

But then, all of a sudden, Dingo felt a pang of sadness. The fly had gone home to warn her 12 fly children and spouse about Dingo. And now they were all going to sleep terrified that Dingo was hiding underneath their bed.

Dingo pulled out his phone and texted the family of flies. In his text, he said he sincerely apologized for scaring them, assured them that there was nothing under their bed except a bottle of pumpkin spice scented dishwashing liquid, and invited them to a party at his house at which there would be an icecream-Wonder Bread™ cake that they could all share.

Dingo sat there for twenty minutes feeling guilty until his phone buzzed. He picked it up, excited to see their response. It was a selfie of them with the bottle of pumpkin spice dishwashing liquid. Dingo cheered. They were coming to his party!

On that day, Dingo the dingo learned that it was okay if he didn’t know what to do. He could always sit in a tree and eat Wonder Bread™.