Janet. She was the picture of a model wife. She had supper cooked for me when I got home, kept the house tidy, raised our two kids while I was working at school for 60 hours a week, then again when I started working and opening my business pushing hours and working late. But she was always there to keep my head above water. We got together when I was seventeen and she'd just turned sixteen. She was a cheerleader I was a football star in our high school. Things were great. Until three months down the road into our relationship, a condom broke and we found out we were going to be parents.

Happy accident. 

I can still remember that day as clear as ever. I had picked her up for a date, I promised her daddy I'd have her home by twelve and drove her out to our favourite restaurant Lil' Joe's just a few miles from my house. The whole ride there Janet hadn't said much, but I figured she was still sick from that morning. She'd told me on the phone earlier that day that she was throwing up, but was feeling well enough to go out with me. Which I was thankful for because I was head over heels for this girl.

She looked beautiful. Dressed in her waist-high acid-washed jeans and half-tucked one size too big t-shirt. Her light brown hair pulled tight at the top of her head with a few strands framing her face. I was just a dumb teenage boy with hormones galore who thought dating the head cheerleader was the best thing ever. Which it was, I can't tell you how many times I got high fived in the hallway for just dating Janet Walker, let alone getting Janet Walker pregnant.

She and I had just finished eating and I was just about to reverse out of the parking spot when Janet grabbed my hand and told me those two words that changed our lives forever. I can't remember much after that. I had to give myself a day to process it all before facing her again and when we did we agreed to keep the baby. We knew that her parents would have a bad reaction so we had already had it set up so she would be ok to stay at my cousin's house with me.

It took four years, two kids, and one wedding for her parents to finally come around and like me. But I think now they finally see the appeal in me and the fact that if they wanted to see their grandkids, they're going to need to get along with their father.

So, as I said Janet was amazing. But not long after Eric was born, something had changed. It had nothing to do with her, not with her body, her looks, her emotions and attitude. No, something had changed with me. Just last night, with both kids away. Morgan at Maddies and Eric at his friend Brian's house for the week helping them build a deck in their backyard, Janet was surprised me with a little gift.

I made my way up the staircase in our two-story home just after dropping Morgan off when I noticed all the lights were off in the house, Sammy was sleeping at the top of the stairs and there was a flickering glow coming from our bedroom at the end of the hall. I knew what this meant and I tried to prepare myself for what waited for me at the other side of the threshold.

And of course, there she was, my beautiful wife. Laying horizontal on our big king-sized bed with a purple see-through nightgown on and little pair panties underneath, the bed had roses on it and candles were lit, she even went as far as to break out a bottle of wine.

And there I was, standing there looking at a half-naked Janet, every man's dream woman and just wishing that she was asleep instead of ready to have sex. But with all her hard work I couldn't say no to her, so with a swift kiss on the lips I excused myself to the bathroom quickly and dropped my pants trying to think of something to get me going. After five minutes of trying to get it up, I was finally ready to go back out to my wife.

And the guilt of not finding her attractive anymore ate me alive. There was nothing more on this earth that I wanted then to find Janet as good looking and as sexy as I did when we were teenagers. After we had finished Janet fell asleep with her cute little smile on her face her head beside my chest as her hand laid across me. And I was stuck there, lying awake for another two hours in pure agony of what had just happened. I had been having to get myself going before sleeping with Janet for years now. She wasn't someone who was big on foreplay and if she did want to try something new, chances are she wanted to try it out on herself because I'm a man and anything a woman does to herself should turn me on — should.

I didn't think about what could be wrong with me, what monster had pushed himself inside of my head and taken my love for my wife's body away.

The next day Janet made me breakfast and coffee, kissing me on the mouth before heading out to brunch with her friends and a day of shopping. I was due to stay home from work today so I took some time to myself fixing things up around the house before going out and golfing with my buddies Mike and Andrew.

By the time I had gotten home that night, the kids were in bed and much to my relief Janet was asleep too. So all I needed to do was go to bed with them. But like the night before I laid awake, tossing and turning, fighting with the demon inside of my head. He was trying to control me, trying to get me to accept what was wrong with me.

So it took me four hours to get to sleep, and by the time I woke up to my alarm at six I wanted to kill somebody. I didn't bother shaving, I flicked on the kid's bedroom lights ignoring there angry tired shouts of protest and whiny 'Daaads' and got dressed in khaki pants and a light blue dress shirt tucked in with a tie. Kissing Janet goodbye on the cheek I made my way to the office with a coffee in one hand and a briefcase in the other.

My office building wasn't all that big. It was six floors with my dental office on the third. Below us was a doctor's office and above was a busy lawyers' office. On any given day you could see lawyers walking in with doctors and doctors walking in with the police. The lawyer's office took up the last three floors of the building and an insurance company owned half the bottom floor while the other half was a small cafeteria that I'm sure was booming with business from the four of us.

I got to the office just after seven, later then I had wanted and gone to the underground parking for employees only to find that my spot had been taken over by a slick black Lamborghini with tinted windows. She looked like a brand new car but with the crappy mood I was in I was ready to run it over. My name was literally on this parking spot. Turning my car around I went out of the parking lot and parked in the patient's parking on the side of the building steam coming out of my ears as I patted every pocket I had for my ID card only to remember I left it sitting on my dresser at home.

This day couldn't get any better, and it was only just starting. My first appointment was at 7:30 so I had no time to drive home for my card. Plus the idea was pretty mute because I could just wait around for somebody to come and let me in.

Just as that thought had passed through my head I heard the sound of footsteps coming towards me, looking over I had to hold myself up of the sight of the man walking towards me. His dirty blonde hair was gelled back from his face, dressed in an all black expensive looking suit with an even more expensive briefcase in hand. Everything about him screamed money. His gold watch, shiny shoes. I made good money myself but even he made me feel broke.

And then he stopped in front of me at the door with his key card in hand and a smile on his face. "Locked out?"

Oh, God. "Uh, yeah. Guess I left my card at home. It's a pretty Monday feeling Tuesday for me."

The man laughed moving forward to scan his card and open the door, holding it open for me he replied as I walked through. "I hear you there. The second day on the job it's bound to be bad. Names Scott Reid." Scott held his hand out to me as me both stood in the lobby. I almost didn't want to touch him scared I would dirty him up.

But I did grabbing his hand in a professionally tight hold. "Sidney Quinlan. Dentist. Lawyer or Doctor?"

"Lawyer. Fresh out of law school."

"Youngblood. I hope they don't eat you alive."

"Trust me I've got a few trying already." Scott was overly joyful, something that I'm sure drove other people crazy. But something about it was refreshing. After fighting with myself pretty hard the last couple of days it was nice to talk to somebody that was on a brighter side than me. "So if you're Sidney Quinlan I'm safe to assume you own Quinland's dentistry." By this point, the two of us were walking up the back stairway, a route I took often seeing as the elevator was better suited for clients.

"That I do. It's nothing too big but if you ever need your teeth cleaned feel free to stop in." He wouldn't. The man had bright white teeth that I'm sure he gets cleaned by a celebrity dentist. Not that a celebrity dentist would be any better than me at cleaning teeth.

"Yeah, I will." He has me that bright smile again. "Hope to see you soon." And with that, he went up the remaining stairs. I stayed in front of the door to my floor listening as his shoes hit each concert step before the large door on the 4th floor swung open and then slammed shut. Leaving me alone in the hallow stairwell questioning everything about myself.