God, I’m being so cheesy right now. Well, of course I am, Alex just totally freaked out, screaming, at the top of his lungs, “Thank you” three million times into my ears (goodbye hearing; hello complaints from the neighbors). Oh, my God, he’s making me giddy.

Honestly, I don’t know, maybe I’m like this because of all the caffeine I drank when I pulled an all-nighter? Or maybe It’s Alex because he’s so fucking adorable right now (excuse me for my vulgar language, but it was badly needed). I mean, how could Alex not be adorable with his insulting attitude when he’s in public, and how he opens up to me, and is himself around me when we’re alone . . .

How can he not be adorable?! OhmyGodIthinkIlovehimsomuch.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　(°▽°)

I walk over to the counter as Alex “Ah”s and “Ooh”s at the breakfast food on his plate. He’s standing behind the island, ready to gobble up as much as he can with the fork and knife in his hands. I chuckle under my breath, “Jesus Christ, I can already feel my cheeks burning up.”

“Sorry?” Alex asks from behind me with a mouth full of pancakes. I turn to make eye contact with him, gulping down the automatic fear.

“Sorry, it’s nothing,” I wave my hands side to side nervously. Alex’s smile lingers on. Ugh, I want to tell him so badly about my sexuality. Guess I’ll have to make that smile fade away, then,  I think to myself.x in 

“Hey, Alex?” I interrupt him eating the pancakes (damn, he’s already down to ten pancakes left? I stress-made more than twenty). “Yeah?” he asks with more bites of pancake in his mouth.

I take a deep breath then say, “Can I tell you something? That not even Marcus fully knows? Something that’ll be very hard for me to say because of how personal it is?”

Alex shakes his bed head when he nods cluelessly. I sigh, I just can’t get the words out of my mouth right now. He notices my hesitation and at least tries to comfort me by saying, “Dude, come on. We’ve been friends since preschool, you can tell me anything.” The word friends seems to beat his grin down.

God, that just makes everything worse. Should I even tell him about my sexuality, or just say something stupid like: “I just farted” and just start laughing like nothing serious was about to happen. No, you’re already in this path way too far, Ben.

I groan, “Ah, whatever, fuck it” — I notice I haven’t been breathing and take a long, deep breath — “I’m fucking bisexual.”

Alex’s jaw drops when his eyes widen. Aw, fuck. What did I just do?