It takes all of two minutes for me to find him; he's sitting on the stairs by the front door staring at the ceiling, holding a glass of water. His head is propped up against his hand, and he looks surprisingly drained compared to everyone else. "Jamie!" I call, waving frantically. "Peyton?" He asks, moving his head and facing me. "Heyyyy!” I point finger guns at him. "Holy shit, Peyton, how much have you had to drink?" I flop down on the stairs next to him. "People need to stop asking that. It’s tooootally invasive"
"Oh my God." He takes the bottle of beer I'd been working on out of my hand, "Aw, Jamie, you're no fun."
"Shut up." He says, putting the bottle out of my reach and placing it on the opposite side of him, next to his water. I reach across his lap, but he grabs me by the wrist. My face is right next to his now, he looks at me softly. His lips are right there. He takes advantage of my distraction and snatches the beer in his free hand. "Ah!" I say, fighting for my wrongfully stolen beer. I pull my wrist out of his hand, so he makes an attempt to stop me by interlacing our fingers. “Whoaaaaaa,” I say, totally not focused on the beer anymore. "Your hands are soft." He tilts his head at me confused, "Hm?"
"Do you love me, Jamie?" His eyes widen for a second; he's alarmed. "Uh?" He pauses, "You know what. I'm gonna get you some water." He finishes the sip of water left in his cup and stands up. “Emily just made me drink some.”
“You should probably have some more.” I stand up, still holding his hand, and then immediately sit back down. "Let me help you up, you idiot." He says. "That's so mean," I giggle at him as he helps me walk to the kitchen. We slowly make our way to the next room over, his arm around my waist to help me stand up. Once we’re in the kitchen he helps me sit and lets go of my hand to find a glass to fill up. "Jamie, you're always lookin’ out for everyone, y'know?" He sits down next to me and puts the glass between us, looking at me with his blue eyes. Their shimmery blue looks darker in the light, like, I dunno, a dolphin.
Or something.
"Your eyes are pretty," I say, staring at him intently. "God you're the weirdest drunk I've ever meant, and I live with one." He mutters, slouching against his hand. “Your dad?” He nods at me, and contemplates my glass of water. "Jamie, you never answered my question," I say, "Do you like me? Like, like-like me?" He looks at me again with a little less shock this time than the last. He smiles and shakes his head, "Why do you ask?"
" 'Cause. I just wanna know.” I reach for his hand again, and he doesn’t let go. “How come you won't let me drive you home?” He doesn’t say anything. In this moment, I want more than anything to kiss him. He's vulnerable now, in the soft, dark kitchen light. “Your lips look soft." I lean towards him. "You smell like beer," He whispers. "I know, Jamie." I rest my forehead against his. There's a second, frozen in time, where he stares at me with his blue eyes; some hesitant emotion behind them that I'm too drunk to read. “I want to kiss you.” I say. He bites his lip. “You shouldn’t,” he says.
And then I do.
Even when my mind is in another realm of beer and dancing lights, I kiss him, and it's the most amazing thing ever. I put a hand to his cheek, the same way he did with Emily, and he kisses me back hesitant at first, and then easing into it as he leans against me. I feel his heart racing as I push him into the counter. He pulls me towards himself, clutching the hem of my jacket in his hand just for a minute. I hazily come to the realization that he’s not indulging me; he’s indulging himself. He wants this too. He wants this too.
James abruptly pushes me away. "Peyton, stop," He says, getting off the counter. "Aw, why?"
"Because you don't really love me. You're just drunk."
I do, James. I really fucking do. I think to myself, but those words can't find their way from my brain to my mouth. The words that come instead are "You have dolphin eyes." Then I laugh. "So, uh, it’s kinda late," He says. He won’t make eye contact with me. I don’t notice. "Maybe we should go home? Let's find Marina and Emily, alright?"
"Yeah." I try to stand, and almost fall over. Painstakingly, he puts a hand on my arm to support me.
When we finally run into Emily and Marina, it turns out they've also been looking for us. "Where were you guys?" Marina asks, "Just getting water," James replies, awkwardly. "Ah," An uncomfortable Emily grumbles. "Do you guys want to get out of here?" Emily asks. James nods his head. Neither Marina nor I have anything to contribute. “Great.” Emily grabs her purse from the dining room where everyone left their stuff upon arrival, and fishes out her keys as we hustle to find her car. "What are we going to do about him?" Emily says, pointing towards me, “We can’t take him home.”
“Can’t stay with me,” Marina says, “My parents would never.”
“Well it's not like my parents would be cool with it either, but,” She stops and they both face James. "What?” He says, wide-eyed. “Can he spend the night with you?” Marina asks. He looks like he wants to say no. “I- I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mar.”
“Well, we can’t take him home like this, and he can’t stay with either of us so our options are either he stays with you, or we leave him on a park bench and hope he shows up to school on Monday.” James starts to say, “I really don’t think we should but-” but Emily interrupts, “Come on James, it’s one night!”
He thinks for a moment, and then says “Fine,” all though he doesn’t really seem fine. We all take a seat in the car, and I try to put my seatbelt on. James sighs and helps me before demanding "Give me your phone," I fish it out of my pocket. He holds it up to my face to unlock it before searching for my parent’s contacts.
Going to James’ house. Be back tomorrow.
He hands me back my phone, as Emily starts the car, pulling out into the street. Marina's already passed out in the passenger seat, and it's only minutes before I find myself asleep, slouching against an uncomfortable James. It's only evident that I won't remember anything tomorrow, but for now I know that I kissed James, and that James kissed me back. My drunk self re-lives that feeling as I close my eyes and the world fades to black.
Comments (1)
See all