It takes all of two minutes for me to find James; he's sitting on the stairs by the front door staring at the ceiling. His head is propped up against his hand, and he looks surprisingly drained compared to everyone else. "Jamie!" I call, waving frantically. "Peyton?" He asks, moving his head and facing me. "Heyyyy!” I point finger guns at him. "Holy shit, Peyton, how much have you had to drink?" I flop down on the stairs next to him. "People need to stop asking that. It’s totally invasive"
"Oh my God." He takes the bottle of beer I'd been working on out of my hand, "Aw, Jamie, you're no fun."
"Shut up." He says, putting the bottle out of my reach on the opposite side of him. I reach across his lap, but with his non-lethargic reflexes which were due mainly to the fact that he wasn't drunk, he grabs me by the wrist. My face is right next to his now, he looks at me softly. His lips are right there. He takes advantage of my distraction and snatches the beer in his free hand. "Ah!" I say, fighting for my wrongfully stolen beer. I pull my wrist out of his hand, so he makes an attempt to stop me by interlacing our fingers. “Whoaaaaaa,” I say, totally not focused on the beer anymore. "A spark!" He tilts his head at me confused, "What spark?"
"Do you love me, Jamie?" His eyes widen for a second, he's alarmed. "Uh?" He pauses, "You know what. I'm gonna get you some water."
“Emily just made me drink some.”
“You should probably have some more.” I stand up, still holding his hand, and then immediately sit back down. "Let me come with you, you idiot." He says. "That's so mean," I giggle at him as he helps me walk to the kitchen. We slowly make our way to the next room over, his arm around my waist to help me stand up. "Sit down, Peyton," He says. He lets go of my hand, and fishes around the cabinets until he can find a glass and then fills it up with tap water. "Jamie, you're always lookin’ out for everyone, y'know?" He sits down next to me, and looks at me with his blue eyes. Their shimmery blue looks darker in the light, like, I dunno, a dolphin.
Or something.
"Your eyes are pretty," I say, staring at him intently. "God you're the weirdest drunk I've ever meant, and I live with one." He mutters, slouching against his hand. “Your dad?” He nods at me, and contemplates my glass of water. "Jamie, you never answered my question," I say, "Do you like me? Like, like like me? Also why don’t you let me drive you home?" He looks at me again with a little less shock this time than the last. He smiles and shakes his head, "Why do you ask?"
" 'Cause. I just wanna know.” I reach for his hand again, and he doesn’t let go. In this moment, I want more than anything to kiss him. He's vulnerable now, in the soft, dark kitchen light. “Your lips look soft." I lean towards him. "You smell like beer," He says. "I know, Jamie." I rest my forehead against his. There's a second, frozen in time, where he stares at me with his blue eyes; some hesitant emotion behind them that I'm too drunk to read. “I want to kiss you.” I say. He bites his lip. “You shouldn’t,” he says. And then I do. Even when my mind is in another realm of beer and dancing lights, I kiss him, and it's the most amazing thing ever. I put a hand to his cheek, the same way he did to Emily, and he kisses me back with more passion than I could ever have expected. I feel his heart pounding as I push him onto the counter. He pulls me towards himself, clutching my shirt in his hand just for a minute. I hazily come to the realization that he’s not indulging me; he’s indulging himself. You don't have to be drunk to realize that he wants this too.
James abruptly pushes me away. "Peyton, stop," He says, getting off the counter. "But why, Jamie?"
"Because you don't really love me. You're just drunk."
I do, James. I really fucking do. I think to myself, but those words can't find their way from my brain to my mouth. The words that come instead are "You have dolphin eyes." Then I laugh. "So, uh, it’s kinda late," He says. He won’t make eye contact with me. I don’t notice. "Maybe we should go home? Let's find Marina and Emily, alright?"
"Yeah." I try to stand, and almost fall over. Painstakingly, he puts a hand on my arm to support me.
When we finally run into Emily and Marina, they've been looking for us. "Where were you guys?" Marina asks, "Just getting water," James replies, awkwardly. "Ah," An uncomfortable Emily grumbles.
"Do you guys want to get out of here?" Emily asks. James nods his head. Neither Marina nor I have anything to contribute. “Great. “ Emily grabs her purse from the dining room table, where everyone left their coats and purses, and fishes out her keys as we hustle to find her car while James finds our jackets on the staircase. "What are we going to do about him?" Emily says, pointing towards me, “We can’t take him home.”
“Can’t stay with me,” Marina says, “My parents would never.”
“Well it's not like my parents would be cool with it either, but,” She stops and they both face James. "What?” He says, wide-eyed. “Can he spend the night with you?” Marina asks. He looks like he wants to say no. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Mar.”
“Well, we can’t take him home like this, and he can’t stay with either of us so our options are either he stays with you, or we leave him on a park bench and hope he shows up to school on Monday.”
“I really don’t think we should but-” Emily interrupts, “Come on James, it’s one night!”
“Fine,” He surrenders. We all take a seat in the car, and I sloppily fasten my seat belt. "Give me your phone," James says. I fish it out of my pocket. "Finger." I put my finger on the button to unlock it. He opens up my texts and finds my parent's contact.
Going to James’ house. Be back tomorrow.
He hands me back my phone, which I leave between my legs, and Emily starts the car, pulling out into the street. Marina's already passed out in the passenger seat, and it's only minutes before I find myself asleep, slouching against an uncomfortable James. It's only evident that I won't remember anything tomorrow, but for now I know that I kissed James, and that James kissed me back. My drunk self re-lives that feeling as I close my eyes and the world fades to black.
----
Chapter Song: Lavender by Hoke Kellett
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