"Then the dumb dog totally ruined it! I am going to have to start all over. See." Hilary shoved her phone in my face showing me the doggy footprints in her sculptor.

"You didn't tell me you had a dog," I said looking at the photo.

"She's a Maltese. She was at the vet for a few days because we got her fixed. Then we took her to the pet spa so she could relax and be pampered. Also, she needed a hair cut." She explained.

I laughed. That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

"What?" she smiled so big her teeth glinted in the light at me.

"Dog spa?" I said between laughter.

"Hey! It's a real thing, look they sent me a picture of her relaxing." She flipped to a different picture of her little white-haired dog sitting in a small pool with pink flowers around her. The dog was sleeping on a floaty.

I laughed harder.

Hilary started laughing too.

"I guess it is silly." She smiled.

"Yeah, really funny..." Zoey said.

"Haha..." Wes forced a laugh.

"God I swear," I wiped the tears I was shedding because I was laughing so hard.

Hilary giggled and poked me in the side.

"Hey!" I giggled and poked her.

Then we got into a poke war. She was giggling and trying to push my hands away. I poked her so hard she slipped out of her seat. I laughed and helped her up.

"Come with me to get breakfast," she tugged on my arms.

"But I'm not hungry," I complained.

"I'll go with you!" Zoey quickly volunteered.

"Fine, then I guess I'll go with Zoey." Hilary stuck her tongue out at me and interlocked her arm with Zoey.

I rolled my eyes and smiled after her as she and Zoey walked off towards the breakfast lines.

"What was that!?" Wes said as soon as they were out of earshot.

"What?"

"Last I checked the plan was to pretend to be her friend, not actually be her friend." He said.

"I know! I'm confused okay, as of right now, there is no more plan. You know Hilary is actually really nice and awesome. I guess... I like being her actual friend." I shrugged.

"Poppy! What if she finds out you were only pretending to be her friend?"

"She won't, because maybe I'm not pretending anymore." I avoided his gaze.

"Poppy?"

"Look it's no big deal."

"Oh my god, you like her, don't you." he accused.

"What! Of course not, psh, please. Me and Hilary?" I felt my face get hot.

"Poppy! Zoey likes Hilary." He hissed.

"Shut up okay. Screw Zoey, she's only sitting here because of Hilary." I made a face.

He sighed.

"Hilary and I... We just have a lot in common okay. We like the same music, we have similar art styles, I mean she's just so..."

"Perfect?" Wes supplied.

I groaned and ran my hands down my face.

"Poppy... this isn't good." He warned.

"I know! Trust me I know. I can't help it okay. She's already wormed her way into my life and I can't help but like her. The girl is a saint, there isn't a single bad thing about her. I can't just drop her now, it's too late okay. So just back off."

He shook his head just as Hilary and Zoey walked back over to us with food on a tray. Hilary squealed when she saw me and quickly set her tray down to hug me. I giggled and pulled her closer to me.

"I'm so going to bother you at work today after I get out of practice." She smirked.

"At this point, you might as well apply and work there." I teased, still holding her in my arms.

She giggled stared longingly into my eyes.

"You should eat your breakfast." I push her off, gently.

"So should you." she sits back in her seat.

"Okay, mom." I roll my eyes.

She giggles before quickly digging into her cinnamon roll.

"Okay, what is that?"

"What?" she said with a mouth full.

"A cinnamon roll hardly qualifies as breakfast," I say.

"Better than nothing." She shot back.

"Touché." I shrugged.

"So, you two are close." Zoey comments.

"What can I say we are two of a kind." Hilary smiled.

"Don't say that." I make a face.

"What? We are,"

"Yeah but it sounds weird coming from you."

She poked me in the side and I laughed before poking her. She giggled and poked me again.

"Hey okay, eat your food."

She stuck out her tongue at me.

I giggled.

Before long the bell rang and I got up to go to class.

"Emm!" Hilary called after me after shoving the rest of her food in her mouth.

I laughed at her and stopped in my steps, crossing my arms.

Her cheeks were big and puffy like a hamster as she quickly chewed and tried to hurry up and swallow her food.

I pretended to look at a watch and raised an eyebrow.

She held up one finger to tell me to hold on.

Zoey and Wes decided to wait around too.

Finally, Hilary got it down, she took a deep breath and drank some milk to force it down. I giggled and shook my head.

"Okay, now speak," I said.

"I just wanted to say, have a good day!" Then she walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek.

I felt my face get hot and I smiled and kissed her on the cheek too. She squealed cutely and quickly ran off. I laughed after her.

"Hey," Zoey caught my arm before I could walk off.

"Uh, got to go." I quickly broke free and ran off.

If she was going to avoid me then I could avoid her too. Besides I still had to figure things out. I mean I admit Hilary is getting to me but it still hurts when I think about Zoey. I'm so confused. Not to mention I've been testing myself to see if I really like girls or what I like in girls.

I know it sounds bad but in my head, I rate the girls I see. From totally not interested to I guess I'm attracted to her. It's hard I don't really see girls I'm interested in at all. I think it's less about what they look like and more about if I like their personalities. Like I have to feel a connection to them.

So maybe I'm not a lesbian, maybe I'm something else...

But I don't know the exact term for it, and I am sort of afraid to look it up. I don't know why I just am. It's dumb. I should just look it up but I can't.

On our way into lunch, Hilary waved hi to all her friends or should I say fans. It irked me how close and friendly she was with everyone. I guess I must have been making a face because she said,

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I assured her.

She frowned.

"I'm fine," I assured her.

She smiled at me. I smiled too. Then she slowly kissed my cheek, in front of every one of her friends. It was different from her usual quick peck on the cheek, like the one she did this morning. I felt my face heat up as her lips pressed softly into my skin, close to my own lips but not quite touching. I swear my heart nearly gave out.

Is there a chance she likes me too?

She pulled back slowly, staying close to me, only an inch apart. I could feel her breathing on me. I think I gulped out loud because she giggled, her own face beet red. I smiled nervously and took a step back.

Then she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the lunch table where Zoey and Wes were waiting.

I swear fire was coming out of Zoey's eyes as she looked at me. I quickly averted my gaze and took up my usual seat.

That gut twisty feeling was back again full force, and not in a good way.

I looked at my food, but suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore. My heart skipped a few beats but not for a good reason, but because I'm scared. This can't be happening right now. I mean I was just barely coming to terms that I might like Zoey as more than a friend now my freaking mind does a 180?

What is going on with me?

Am I a late bloomer or something? I never cared about romance before but now I found myself wanting to kiss someone, someone who wasn't Zoey. What if Hilary doesn't even like me? What if I tell her and it ruins everything just like I ruined everything with Zoey?

What if she finds out I was only pretending to be her friend?

"You okay?" Hilary rubbed my back, causing me to flinch.

"Uh, yeah, just not feeling too good."

"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe you should call into work."

"Nah, I'm fine. I can push through."

"Wow you're so strong, I swear I get a headache and I'm down for the count." She put her hand on my hand, as a comforting gesture but it made my heart flutter.

Gah! What the heck is up with me? No! I can't be falling for yet another girl. This is so confusing. I'm supposed to hate her, I'm supposed to destroy her. Why does she have to be so freaking perfect!

"Aren't you in softball?" Zoey points out to Hilary.

"I sure am, I've been lucky enough not to get injured. I got thick skin I guess, but when it comes to the internal stuff like bellyaches, count me out."

"I feel that a few weeks ago I got food poisoning from bad Chinese takeout and I was out of it for three days." Wes jumped into the conversation.

"Oh no! If you want good Chinese you should go to Jon Wok, my uncle goes there all the time. The man is addicted to Chinese. He's taken me there before and it is so good, they even deliver!"

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah..."

I tuned out the conversation, my eyes to preoccupied with the hand still on top of my own. I could hear Hilary going on and on about random thing and when I tried to pull my hand away she squeezed it and held it in place. I felt my face heat up and finally forced myself to meet her eyes.

She wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Wes, in the middle of a story but when she saw me staring she looked at me sheepishly before letting my hand go and putting her hands in her lap. My hand felt cold all of a sudden.

I looked over to Zoey who was giving me the death glare. I sort of felt sad. Not because she hates me now, though that was oblivious, but because I miss how we were before all of this stupid romance stuff. When it was just Zoey and I and our miscellaneous adventures.

I miss her smile, her laugh, the way she'd always playfully punch me in the shoulder. I miss us just goofing around and being dumb together. I miss the way she'd always support me, even if I was in the wrong. I miss lecturing her about the importance of wearing a raincoat or unclicking her pens before shoving them in her bag.

I miss us laying together, on my bed, on the grass, in the gazebo, no matter where we were we'd always just lay on the ground next to each other and stare up together, talking about everything, yet nothing at all.

I miss her voice.

I really miss her.

Without really thinking about it I rest my head on Hilary's shoulder and just listen to her talk and talk, filling the tense silence with her charming voice. She didn't seem to mind or even notice, she just let me.

It helped to ease the gaping wounds in my heart left there by worms digging holes and leaving them open for infection.