While Cadence is in his session I decide to walk to the library down the street, sending him a quick text to tell him where I’ll be.

The library is old and antique looking with two stone lions guarding the doorway. It’s strange that I can remember that this library has a decent selection of books but can’t remember what genres I used to like or even what my favorite book is.

Rounding a section of mystery books, I see Evan. He’s not looking at me this time, but examining the books in the section, he reaches toward one, and I’m kind of curious to see if his hand will go through the book.

“Can I help you find anything?” A voice says from behind me. I jump, startled, and turn to see a pile of out of control brown obscuring a girl.

A mouse comes to mind while looking at her. She’s short, probably not even five feet tall and chubby. She’s got a handful of books about to fall out of her hands and I can see a cart nearby.

“Uh… no, just looking. Thanks though.” I turn to see that Evan has disappeared and the idea hits me.

“All right, well let me know if you need help finding anything.” The girl says as she turns to leave.

“Actually… the supernatural.” I swallow, trying to get the words out faster than my mouth wants to work. “What books do you have about the supernatural?”

Evan’s obviously a disembodied spirit. Maybe if I research ghosts, I can figure out how to help him.

“You might be able to find a few in our teen section.” She points to a nearby row of books.

“No… umm ghost stories. I’m looking for ghost stories. Or stuff about ghosts and…” I stop, trying to think of the best way to word this without sounding crazy.

I don’t know this girl, and chances are I’ll never see her again, so I decide to just go with it. “And anything about how to speak with ghosts.” I’m waiting for a strange look or a judging expression, but she just grins and waves for me to follow her.

“Your best bet for anything related to ghosts will probably be the occult section. Here.” We reach a row filled with books about witchcraft, demons, and ghosts, among other things.

“Uh, thanks.” I’m not really sure where to start, and perhaps she senses it.

“So, you want something about talking with ghosts?” I nod.

Again, I’m waiting for a judgmental look, but she just sets down her pile and begins pulling books off the shelf and stacking them in my hands. She provides commentary about a few of the books too.

“I’ve read this one, it’s a good sort of intro into the realm of the supernatural, and the author is a local.” The book in question is titled The Ghosts You Don’t Know, and it’s got a colorful cover that belies its sinister topic. The author is Carren Roche… as in my therapist; I make a mental note to ask her about the book in our next session.

“This one talks a lot about rituals and stuff, but it might have something in it that you’re looking for. This one is filled with personal anecdotes from mediums with stories about hauntings. It’s more of a thrilling type of read. And this one features the personal history of a medium that works with the cops. This one is a general intro to Wiccan and this—”

“I don’t think I need that one.” I cut her off. If I didn’t say something I think she’d send me home with every book in this row.

“These should do for now. Thanks!”

“Not a problem. Are you looking for anything else or would you like to go ahead and check those out?” She asks but doesn’t wait for me to respond. “If you’re interested we just updated our YA section. And I remember a few good books that feature ghosts.” Her eagerness hangs in the air between us, and I can’t bring myself to turn her down.

“Lead away.”

Amongst the teen books she pulls a few that feature creepy looking houses and one that even has a pale looking girl standing amongst a cemetery. That one looks familiar for some reason and I’m wondering if I might have read it before. Regardless if I have or not, it sounds interesting enough.

“I think I like reading.” I think aloud. The girl looks at me and giggles.

“I’d hope so… I mean you are in a library and all. So, is supernatural your favorite genre?” I laugh as well.

“I don’t really know.”

Now, there’s the look I’d been waiting for. I start to go in my spiel about the amnesia and for the first time I feel a kind of relief. I don’t know this person and she doesn’t know me. It doesn’t matter to her that I lost my memories, she won’t be disappointed.

She expects nothing from me. What shocks me the most though, is that I don’t get a pitying look from her. Instead she grins from ear to ear.

“Then I guess you get to start all over in the reading department. That’s kind of cool to be able to reread books with a more open mind...” She catches herself, maybe realizing that she could be coming across as insensitive. “Umm… that is, it’s just… well it sucks that you lost your memories and all… I don’t mean to be so callous… but.…” She trails off and I start laughing again.

“No, I get what you mean. It’s nice to meet someone that can point out the bright side and all. And I think I was a reader. So, it might be interesting just to see if any memories come back.” And I guess that’s what does it.

It’s like I opened a floodgate and the girl begins to ramble passionately about what books I should read first and which I should add for later.

By the time Cadence texts me to tell me he’s outside, I’ve got a stack of books to last me awhile... unless I discover that I’m a fast reader or something, and that’s not including my research books for Evan.

Who, of course, is sitting at a nearby table, head bowed down, with what looks like a book in front of him. If I wasn’t worried about appearing crazy I’d go over just to see if the book is real or not.

“Oh, I didn’t get your name?” I ask the girl as I’m heading out. She’s not wearing a name tag or anything, though it’s obvious she works here.

“Risa. It was great talking with you Lyric. Be sure to come back and let me know how you like my suggestions.”

On the way home, I tell Cadence about the books and Risa, trying to casually find out if I used to be a reader or not.

“Strange, you never really were in to reading. You mainly just read what you had to for school. But if you’re going to get into it now, then I got some great recommendations.”

It’s a little disheartening to find that I wasn’t a reader, I really thought I was on to something and then another realization hits me.

“But I knew that there was a good selection of books there, and it all felt familiar.”

“That’s because I used to make you go there with me all the time after school. We’d walk around downtown and then go to the library, sometimes staying until they closed. Evan, Darryl, and Margaret often came with us. We’d do homework and study there on days we needed the quiet.”

This is one of the first times Cadence has casually let slip about Evan and the others, Darryl and Margaret, that died in the crash.

I’m not sure why no one wants to talk about them, as if they’re afraid of mentioning them, or maybe it hurts too much? I’m not ready to ask yet. Asking about Evan, who’s still alive is one thing, but it feels wrong to ask about the couple that I don’t remember.

Especially when I’ve been told that we were all close. I’m sure Cadence is suffering far more than he wants me to know. Instead of focusing on his grief he’s focusing on me, but he’s essentially lost all his best friends, even me, if you count the old me

“Oh… so you’re a reader?” Cadence chuckles and I wonder if I used to tease him about being a bookworm. This is a side of him that he hasn’t shown me yet. The focus is normally on me, so it’s nice to learn more about him for once.

“Something like that. I want to be a writer or an editor. I’m not sure which. I just love books. I love reading and writing, and stories, anyone’s stories, and I want to be a part of the process one day.”

Cadence assails me with details of his favorite books and the novel he’s been secretly working on. It sounds rather interesting, an epic fantasy series about a seer.

When we get home, I decide to read Carren’s book first, but my bedroom light is flickering again. It’s been flickering every now and then, pretty much since I came back from the hospital.

I’ve changed the light bulb a few times, but the flickering hasn’t stop. Reid checked the wiring but found nothing wrong. We even got my eyes checked, thinking it was some after affect from my injury.

I’m just stuck with a flickering light. As if the light wasn’t bad enough, when I look up from the book, Evan is sitting at the foot of my bed, a grin splitting his face.

“Seriously I wish you’d just tell me what you want already.” Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. He doesn’t respond but makes himself comfy. He’s never been in my room before, so I take that as a sign that I’m on the right track.

Carren’s book describes ghosts as lingering spirits that often have unfinished business. It really is a sort of intro guide to the supernatural… or as Carren refers to it, ‘the spirit realm.’ It’s not cut and dry like I was expecting but filled with personal stories and anecdotes, not all of which are Carren’s own stories, but I guess some of those she’s helped.

“You have unfinished business? Why don’t you just tell me what it is then.” I say to Evan. His head tilts to the side and I find myself reaching forward to touch him. Before I can reach him, he gets up and disappears through my door. Yeah, like I really thought that would work.

I skip ahead in the book to the section about summoning and talking to spirits. I’m thinking the summoning part won’t be too hard since I see Evan all the time… it’s the getting him to talk to me that’s my problem.

Though the book suggests never trying to contact the spirit realm on your own, something about it being dangerous, I really can’t think of anyone that I would want to ask to help me. There’s a few options that she provides but I rule most of them out. I’m not going to try to buy a spirit board for one use.

The séance seems pretty doable with a dowsing pendulum, though. And I remember seeing a crystal on my desk that could probably work for the pendulum. I settle on that and start making a list of the other things I need. Even though she stresses that it’s not something a person should do on their own, especially a beginner, there’s no one I want to ask.

I could probably get Carren herself to help, but she’s my therapist and all, and that’s got to be a breach of something. Plus, I don’t want her knowing how crazy I really am. My second thought is asking Cadence, one of my other brothers, or even Risa for help. But I don’t really want to involve Cadence or anyone from my family, and I don’t know Risa well enough to ask her, so alone it is.

By the time Serenity calls me down for dinner I’ve got a rough plan to perform a séance, it’s just a matter of getting the necessary equipment and when. But maybe then, Evan’s ghost will talk to me.