Obsessive compulsive disorder is a terrible behavior,. I always wonder why I exist in this world and whether the world in my dream is real. Before taking a bath every night, you should first vomit habitually, then clean your teeth, wash your face, then take a bath and wash your hair.

        In the narrow bathroom, the water vapor crawls all over the mirror, unable to see the human shadow. Looking at the drops of the shower, my head became more and more dizzy. When I felt that I was about to fall, an old woman helped me up. She looks fat and kind. "You can't," she said to me. I leaned against her arm, and she held me, and in the living room, in the square dining room, sat a man, a little boy. They were talking, but I couldn't hear them, and the drops of water on her hair fell on her clothes.

        Now at 5:57 in the morning, I saw the dark sky through the gap in the curtain. Today is another cloudy day. I sat up from bed and looked around me in my pajamas. I didn't even wear slippers. I tried to find the clues of the old woman in the living room. The living room floor is so clean that there is nothing.

        At 1:44 a.m., I opened the video stored in the USB stick. There are too many videos in it, which are messy and not sorted. That's some short films about killing and violence. I opened one of them. Under the green filter, a man with glasses looks like an honest man, but he is very poor at work or interpersonal communication. I have seen many Hong Kong TV dramas. In Hong Kong TV dramas, such an image is usually a super killer or rapist.

        He grinned ferociously, spilled blood from the corners of his mouth, and then cut his face with an old-fashioned razor. There was a fire in the apartment. He looked as if he had just come back from the sun. My name is Antong for me in my dream. Sometimes I will disturb her life with realistic vision. For example, I will choose the most concealed house, and then sit on the floor at night without turning on the lights and lighting candles.

        There was a knock at the door. Through the cat's eyes, I saw two men standing at the door, holding an envelope like document bag. I put out the candle and pretended that the house was empty. For a long time, there was no sound outside. The place where I live is surrounded by several mountains. The subway is running on the ground. When I go back to the downstairs, I see the man at my door last night.

        I dodged him and went home to lock the door. When I woke up, there was a knock on the door. Through the cat's eyes, I saw a woman in a rose colored skirt with long black straight hair and big eyes. I opened the door, and the man was behind her. She pushed me hard against the wall. Then she went to the center of the living room and insulted, but I couldn't hear her clearly. I just looked at her and ran to her. Hug her waist and fall downstairs with her.

       When I woke up, the police called me, and the female police officer told me that the city bureau had approved my name change application. From then on, my identity was Anteng.

       My colleague and I went to Europe. She was a lawyer. She accompanied me to meet a fat little boy with brown hair and bushy face. The little boy is my net friend. We have an appointment to meet in a Turkish restaurant. He still has his little companion. His little companion is a little boy with freckles in a baseball cap.

       My female colleague and I sat in the corner near the window. The little boy looked at me secretly. It took a long time for him to come to me. He said hello carefully, and the result was that the little fat man ate two French fries. I told him I had to go, and he held me. 

       "Can I see you again"

       "You only exist in my dream"

        I've never seen this cute little fat boy again.

        I lived in another house, which was very old, with big windows and no decoration. Less than 15 square meters of the house will be filled with a bathroom and a kitchen. When I just finished washing clothes and hung them outside the window, it was overcast, and it rained heavily. Then the rain drifted into the window. I looked at all this dully, and the picture seemed to be fixed. I was filled with hunger and fear. I devoured the bread I bought last night and shivered on the plastic stool in the corner.

       It was 4:36 a.m. when I woke up, and the wind moved the curtains in the living room. After packing things and going out, there is no guardrail on the platform of the subway. Looking at the track, I wonder if it will lead to suicide on the track. I once saw a crazy woman running around naked. I could have called her, but I didn't. So where is my destination this time? I went to see my cousin, zhubajie.

       She is still a baby, I always like to kiss her chubby face, I hold her to meet her sister at the school gate. Her sister is still a primary school student, she saw me, called my sister, and then quickly ran to the shop, select spicy bars for me to eat. That time was the happiest and the saddest for me.

        I always imagined that I killed people, and then the people around me called the police. When the police arrived, they sent me to the mental hospital. I was wearing white hospital number clothes. This mental hospital looked like my primary school. The clothes of patients in different buildings were different. The clothes of patients in the left building looked like the school clothes of primary school, dark blue and red. The patient in the building on the right is dressed in ordinary clothes, which looks just like the people outside. I walked through the steps in the middle of the building. In the middle of the three buildings is a place similar to playground activities. I'm the only one wearing the white hospital number suit. I look at the other patients with a third vision. Then I saw a friend of mine in primary school in a crowd of ordinary clothes. I called her by her name. She said she didn't know me.

        When I was sleeping, I was awakened by a sound. 

        Suddenly I remembered that grandma said this was the call of ghosts. Maybe someone was going to die recently. Superstition used to exist in our hometown. When people were dying, their souls would wander around. I was frightened by the voice, so I roared hysterically and sat on the bed with a knife.