The track I hate most is that when I was in junior high school and senior high school, my deskmate was a naive woman. She is a few months younger than me. She always writes the two letters WJ in pencil on the table, and pays special attention to them.
I didn't do sth with her. My deskmate was a boy. My impression on him was that he was the tallest in the class. He was a sports commissioner. His Mandarin was not standard. I often learn his pronunciation and laugh, such as FA and fafei. Besides, I know that he likes the girl in our group who wears glasses.
He is an narcissism boy. I often use his mirror to arrange his hair while he is away. Sometimes I squeeze his lotion to wipe his hands. When he was studying third classes in the evening, he told me that his cousin was in the manicure shop. He went to his cousin's shop last time and then he painted nail polish. He took out a bottle of black nail polish from his pocket and painted it for me. On the second day when I handed in my homework, the teacher in charge said that your hands were like black chicken claws.
He went to the girl in the class and borrowed a bottle of white nail polish. It was very cold in winter and it had already begun to snow at Christmas. On Christmas Eve, when I was going to return her nail polish, I could not find it in the drawer of the desk. At the end of class, I went to apologize to the girl and gave her an apple.
After that, she followed me for dinner, went to the toilet, and chose to sit next to me when she finally chose the seat according to the ranking. I asked her who WJ was, and she told me it was her ex boyfriend. "I guess he broke up with you," I told her. She nodded, and then told me that her ex boyfriend was out there. I was just surprised that the 21st century has passed so long and that the ignorant youth are addicted to the underworld and the youth and danger.
She showed me a picture of WJ, and I laughed. She lowered her head and said, "I know he looks average, but he's good.". She cited some examples, such as buying snacks for her, giving her a lot of prestige in front of her classmates, and then riding a motorcycle to pick her up after school on Friday. The motorcycles whimpered, and then, together with other young people who had no knowledge or skills, they played DJ dance music with poor speakers. In that love group period, no one dared to bully her, many people flattered her, because her boyfriend was youth and danger.
Then she asked me if I had ever been in love in junior high school, and I said, "yes, but we broke up.".Then she always likes to scold her ex boyfriend in front of me. Sometimes I will scold my ex boyfriend with her. I've always thought that good friends don't need too many of the same hobbies and hate the same things, so swearing together is also a kind of fun.
But she still remembered the man's love. Later, she asked her junior high school sister to introduce a boyfriend to her. I met this man, and she said he was also youth and danger. However, compared with the previous one, this man looks much more comfortable, probably because he looks like Qian Xiaohao(A Hong Kong actor). Then she fell in love with the man again. They often spent weekends together. She said her parents worked in coastal cities, and she was the only one lives in the familyhome. She missed the moment when the man was driving her on the motorbike, and she was on the phone with her boyfriend all the time.
I always like to joke that her primary school sister is a "pimp girl". When she had a boyfriend, she gradually became a pimp herself. At that time, she often wanted to introduce her boyfriend to me. I said I like the boy with big eyes and round face. My girlfriend is also a pimp. Maybe she is not my girlfriend. After all, I like her unilaterally. She has a lot of boyfriends, and then she is driven out by her parents. Then she brings her boyfriend to my school. When I went to see her, I saw her boyfriend and my former junior high school classmates. We were in the same school but not in the same class.
She fawns on my girlfriend, who looks at us softly and says she needs money to rent a house with her boyfriend. I have guessed that she is developing pimps, but the living expenses in her school days are limited, and I have no money or ability. That junior high school classmate is happy to tell her that she will find a girl within 5 days. Later, I learned that this kind of behavior has formed an industrial chain in the campus. Since then, I have some conflicts with her.
My deskmate told me that she and her boyfriend opened a bank account together, which is their love fund. Then she saves money every month. She also earns some pocket money part-time at school. After the holiday, she took me to the bank's teller machine to save money. After that, she was always tired of being together after school, and I was always walking alone in the city.
This is the first time I have a fear of sex. She called me and asked me to find her. Then I knocked on the door. She and her boyfriend were naked in bed. It was the first time I saw a man's genitals. I just felt sick and nauseous. I asked her to trick me into watching the mating process? She nodded and smiled shyly. Later, I kept thinking about whether I was too conservative or whether the concept of sex was so open. Then I wore headphones to listen to songs. When they finished, her boyfriend buttoned her bra, so that when she recalled the sex later, her face was smiling.
When I was in junior high school, I didn't even touch the green(betray in Chinese) to me ex boyfriend's hand. There was nothing. Later, after I worked, I met a man who said he loved me. The man tried to date me, but I didn't say a word. Finally, he told me that he would not be interested in me any more. He thought I was only suitable for online love, but actually I didn't pay much attention to him online.
She is very concerned about my physical date, I guess it's because she is calculating her own day. Sex education is shameful. At that time, I still remember that shortly after the school started, the psychology teacher in the school organized a meeting about girls. I think it's the same as in junior high school, hair a poor sanitary napkin and teach girls how to use it. As a result, the teachers on the stage have been talking about sex and contraceptives. Later, when the teacher asked questions and asked the students to answer, she asked my name. I looked at her puzzledly and said to her, "I don't like men. I won't have sex.". Then the students all burst out laughing, I was at a loss, but at that time, the students had jokingly called me Lesbian.
My second physiological period has arrived, she has not. She was scared. She asked me how much money I had. I told her I had only a few hundred RMB. She told me what to do if she had a baby. I asked her, "is your baby mine?" , she shook her head, "it's not my child. What does that have to do with me?" I replied coldly.
She tried to contact her boyfriend in the morning, and then the man's phone was not get through all the time. She didn't eat at noon. When she came to the lunch break, she woke me up and put her hand in front of my eyes. A smell came. She told me in a low voice that she had come to Big Aunt(Another name of menstruation). Looking at her bloody hands, I felt sick. Since then, I have deliberately ignored her, because I don't like dirty things, just like when I first fell in love, I went to tell my friends with joy that I was with the boy who likes wearing purple clothes.
She was surprised: "are you kidding? He likes the girl in our class for a long time, because she fights with others.". Smile slowly solidified, I walked away silently, and when I saw him again from then on, I always thought of the girl he liked, and then because the girl fought with others. In my mind, I imagined a lot of scenes. He was disconnected from the girl or ambiguous with the girl in the same class. At that time, I didn't know it was the symptom of schizophrenia.
But by the third years of junior high, my doubt had become a fact. That girl and I are in the same class, sleeping in the bed next to me. Every night I listen to her and her friends talking about her boyfriend. Then I just feel sick. When they are talking, I'm thinking about when he will die. It's better to be with her. Later, her friends would talk about her boyfriend intentionally and shout his name when they saw me. I'm not jealous, I just can't accept cheating and betrayal.
Later, my deskmate and her boyfriend broke up and died of nothing. She began to worry about gain and loss, refreshing the dynamic of boyfriend space every day, turning over every comment and message, and then scolding his netizens or friends. The man took the fund they loved and then cancelled the account. Later, when the new law was enacted, I said to her, "if it was enacted earlier, your boyfriend would be a rapist. We are 14 years old this year.".
I was not in the same class with her in senior two. I had a new table mate and she had a new long-term meal ticket. Why is it called a meal ticket? Because she is in love again. The man took the money from the love fund, and then she was penniless and didn't dare to ask the adults for living expenses. She couldn't find a good reason to prevaricate why this month's living expenses were more. Then I can't bear that she is hungry. I will buy a bun or pancake for her every meal without paying me back.
Later, she saw me as if saw the air, she and her new deskmate were joking, and sometimes I would think if my thoughts could be the same as her, I would not be a schizophrenic. Then she deleted it from my friends list and added some new friends I knew.
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