The bar was an absolute hidden sanctuary. From the outside, it was nothing special and it might not even catch your eye, but once in, the dark ambience with a warm purple tinge overwhelmed Takehiko. It had a back garden, with rustic barrels, wood crates, exposed bricks and all those details that complemented the industrial design. The large tree in the middle where lightbulbs were hanging from black cords was making the scenery comparable to a grunge fairytale. 

Ocean picked a place for them and decided to get the first round of drinks.

“What would you like?”

“Jack and Coke,” Takehiko replied nonchalantly.

“Again?” Ocean winced. “Might as well bring you some bleach! No, stay put, I’ll decide for ye.”

And with that, the man was lost among the crowd only to return soon after with four shots of a deep gold-coloured liquid.

“Here!” Ocean presented the small glasses before Takehiko. 

“What is this?”

“No questions! Just close yer eyes and drink! Sláinte!”

With no real reason to disagree, Takehiko obediently took a shot glass and to the count of three clicked his glass with Ocean’s, thrust his head backwards and poured every single drop in his mouth. A strong, fiery warmth spread from his mouth to his throat and his chest, only to calmly settle in his stomach. It burned and at the same time, it soothed him. A certain sweetness lingered on his lips. A vanilla flavour spread in every one of his taste buds.

Takehiko’s tired eyes opened wide from the unexpected yet very welcomed surprise.

“What is this?” he asked with enthusiasm and a smile that could almost reach his ears. 

“Some good ol' proper Irish whiskey,” Ocean replied proudly and moved the remaining drinks in front of both himself and the boy. “More?”

“More!” Takehiko cried and in a blink of an eye gulped down the second shot. And the third. And the fourth.

The shots kept coming as well as the full drinks and cocktails. Takehiko eagerly embraced the drunkenness, shushing down all of his unwanted thoughts. He craved for more. More drinks, more than just some drinks. So much more. 

His lustful gaze scouted around the place. Perhaps this time he could do what he hadn’t done so far. Seduce and be seduced. Maybe a woman. Maybe a man. Maybe an undefined stranger that would catch his attention. Everything was on the table, or, for his case, the dance floor, which was exactly what the whole bar had turned into. For all he knew, this could be his first chance. Or not. Either way, this was a time to escape reality and fully enjoy every bit of what his intoxication was offering. 

When he was left on his own, he let himself free, closed his eyes and began gently swaying to the enchanting rhythm. His head, his hands, his hips, his feet. He didn’t know how to properly sway and there was a huge possibility he was out of sync. Neither mattered. The music had complete control over his body and mind. The sparse lighting was spreading like a tide on his borrowed clothes, occasionally blinding him completely. And for just this once, it was more than fine. It was perfect.

As he was fully surrendered to the beat, Takehiko felt a hand softly touching his waist. He turned around and saw Ocean, smiling and swinging along. The boy returned the smile and, empowered by the alcohol running inside his body, he slid his hands over the man’s chest and to the back of his neck. He pulled Ocean closer and let their lips touch. His heart started beating faster as his advances were accepted and returned. Their lips were locked in a wet embrace. Takehiko felt Ocean’s arms tightening on the small of his back, their bodies so close together. Their breath was one. Their tongues danced faster than their minds. And then…

Darkness.

❦

The smell of freshly brewed coffee was the next thing Takehiko recognised. He slowly opened his eyes. An extremely sharp and penetrating headache made him close them back again. He touched his head, trying to stabilise everything inside, in hopes everything outside would stop spinning as well. He groaned. He opened his eyes again and sat up. He was in a dark room, on a double bed with white sheets. On the right, there was a window, which was thankfully covered by a thick curtain, and under it a small bookcase filled with books and notes, with a small teddy bear and an ashtray neatly placed on top.

This was a somewhat familiar place.

He blinked.

"Morning," a husky voice was heard.

Takehiko turned his head abruptly, making everything around spin again. He squinted his listless eyes. Ocean was there, or more like two of him, in their pyjamas, standing in front of the door that led to what it seemed to be a bathroom. Takehiko stood up and wobbled closer.

“Where are we?”

“What do you mean? It’s my gaff, you’ve been here before.”

Takehiko groaned to the sound of Ocean’s voice. If it was some other time, he wouldn’t mind. In fact, his stomach might even flutter a bit, but at that moment, he did mind.

“You’re okay?” Ocean asked. “Want some water? Coffee?”

“Both, please.”

“Okay. Come to the kitchen.” Ocean led the way to the next room and stood by the counter where a filtered coffee maker was, the sound of water turning into steam and then dripping back down was filling the silence. He grabbed two cups, placed them on the counter, then got a glass, filled it with water and passed it on.

Takehiko took it gladly and dried it down with a thirst he hadn’t felt before. When he was done, he left it next to the sink but swiftly ran back in the shadows. The sun was way too bright, like several tiny daggers stabbing his poor eyes.

"Sugar? Milk?" Ocean enquired.

"Neither," Takehiko replied, rubbing his eyes with the ball of his palm, surprised by the hoarse whisper that came out of his mouth. A continuous high-pitched ringing in his ears wouldn’t leave him alone. Little by little, however, he began feeling better. As his vision was gradually coming back and his dizziness was fading away, he realised he was almost naked. Everything was gone but his briefs. He panicked.

"D-d-did we do-"

"No," Ocean reassured him, traces of disappointment in his rough voice, and gave Takehiko one of the cups filled with an ample amount of coffee. He then got a packet of biscuits, opened the kitchen window, sat by a barstool and sipped his coffee. "You passed out. I brought you here. You barfed your insides out, then you insisted on changing clothes but none of mine fit you other than the ones you were wearing, so you took everything off, jumped in me bed and now you're up. End of the story. Do you remember anything?"

Takehiko softened his gaze and stared at the warm cup in his hands. Slowly, just like the drops of sweet coffee that were entering his body, the memories from last night began parading in front of his eyes. “We kissed.”

“Yup,” said Ocean with his mouth full with a biscuit bite, crumbs spreading around his mouth. 

Takehiko felt his cheeks burning up and it was certain this wasn’t caused by his warm beverage. “Does that… Does that make things weird now?”

“In what way?” Ocean asked, dusting his top off.

“Friends don’t kiss.”

“Didn’t know we were friends.”

Ocean’s words hit Takehiko like a sudden slap. Even though he knew that it may or may not be true, he couldn’t help but feel sad, worthless, unwanted. If only I could still be drunk, he thought to himself and remained silent, dumbly drinking the contents of his steamy cup, hoping it would help him out of his misery.

“I didn’t mean-” said Ocean and sighed. “I was only joking! You’re grand. We’re grand. We’re friends, of course. Just… very drunk ones.” He cleared his throat, lit a cigarette and looked at Takehiko. “What’s up with that scar?” He pointed at the brunet’s chest.

Takehiko touched it unconsciously. It wasn't big and it wasn't new, like a single long scratch from a disobedient cat.

"I had a bicycle accident when I was little."

"So you do know how to ride it!"

"Trauma was so big I forgot," Takehiko returned with a shrug.

What followed was a silence more deafening than the ringing in Takehiko’s head. With the warm cup in his hands, he gazed vacantly outside. The city had just started waking up, a natural delay Sundays always demand. A smell of freshly baked sweet bread reached his nostrils, making his tummy rumble. He grabbed a couple of biscuits and shovelled them in. 

“I’m sorry I let it happen, I was careless and very, very drunk,” Ocean admitted. “I’m easy when I’m drunk. It was you but it could’ve been anyone. It shouldn’t had been you.”

Takehiko noticed as Ocean ran his fingers through his shaggy hair, revealing his ears, slowly receiving the same rosy colour of Takehiko’s cheeks.

“Why not?” he asked and grumbled as yet another round of multiple headaches came to visit, smashing his brain like a Newton’s cradle. The ringing in his ears persisted, making him shake his head. His long uncombed hair covered his face. He let a puff of irritation out. “Was it that horrible?”

“No, that’s not it,” Ocean said under his breath and finished his cigarette by smashing the remaining part into the ashtray. “It’s not you kissing me. Drunk people do things like that. It’s you being you and that I kissed you. You’re Aya’s brother and my neighbour, I should’ve known better-”

A loud knock on the door was heard interrupting Ocean. Unfazed, the man brought his index on his lips, shushing to warn Takehiko to make no sound. That was the last thing the boy needed at that moment: a Sunday morning visitor, with him semi-naked in the middle of someone else’s kitchen. The knock persisted, louder this time. Ocean clicked his tongue irritated.

“Ocean, are you in?”

The blond, alarmed, stood up. “Aya?”

“Yeah, it’s Aya. Please, it’s an emergency!”

“Fuck,” Ocean breathed out and Takehiko, without waiting for a second more, darted inside the bedroom. He skimmed through the clothes thrown around the room, desperately trying to find his jogging clothes or at least the ones Ocean had lent him.

“What’s wrong Aya? Did something happen?” he heard Ocean’s voice from the other side of the apartment. 

He had to hurry up. Finding a specific piece of garment turned out to be impossible as almost everything was black or different shades of black or dark grey or blue.

“M-m-my brother,” Ayaka’s trembling cry was heard. 

The bathroom, he thought and on the towel-drying racks there they were, his jacket, shirt and sweatpants.

“Have you seen my brother? I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning.” 

Is she crying? He quickly got into his sweat-smelling clothes, desperately wishing for a scorching shower.

“I’ve been calling him all night. He’s not answering his phone!”

He got a glimpse of his hangover face, tried to somewhat comb his messy, full of knots hair, gave up and ran back.

“Yeah, he’s-”

“I’m here,” Takehiko interrupted and peeked behind Ocean. “I-I’m sorry, my phone ran out of battery and I forgot to charge it.”

“Také!” Ayaka cried loudly with relief. The short girl was covered in tears and shaking from agony. “You’re alive!”

“Of course I’m alive, I’m not dumb, y’know.”

“I was so worried! You can’t even imagine!”

“Yeah I can imagine,” Takehiko scoffed annoyed. “You were too busy humping your boyfriend so I had to find somewhere else to stay!”

Ayaka’s face crimsoned, her lips puckered and more tears flooded her round cheeks. She turned on her heels and ran up the stairs back to her flat, banging the door behind her.

“Oh no. You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth,” Takehiko snapped.

“Go apologise.”

“Why should I? She’s the one who couldn’t care less!”

“Go, Také. Go talk to her.”

Takehiko frowned stubbornly but obeyed. When he arrived outside the flat, he found the door left slightly open. He pushed it and got in. A red, full of tears and snot face greeted him.

“I’m such a bad sister!” Ayaka whined and began crying once again.

“You’re a terrible sister,” Takehiko said calmly and hugged Ayaka to calm her down. “Please don’t make me do this again, Ocean has a life of his own, he can’t be babysitting me every time you want to get some.”

To the sound of her brother’s words, Ayaka let out a loud wail, making Takehiko laugh and pat her back. 

“Promise me you’ll at least let me know so I won’t be caught off guard, alright? You can’t keep forgetting we’re sharing the flat now, I’m here too, okay? Promise?”

“Promise. You’re right. I will be more mindful next time. And you try to charge your phone more, alright? I won’t be able to call you if it’s dead! And don’t forget your keys! What if-”

“Yes, yes, I know,” said Takehiko and a wave of relief spread all over him. He may have no friends or partners but his sister was still around, worrying about him, waiting for him to come home. And that was the most important part of his life at that moment. He had to remember that.