I tried to stay away from Rain the next morning. She tried asking again at dinner that night, but I quickly dismissed it.

"Hey Earnie," Rain said at breakfast. "I just wanted to know if... you're gay. Since you said you wanted to be with him."

My face feels like it's burning. "No," I say, getting up to leave.

"Earnest," my mom says, stopping me right before I'm out the house. "Is there something on your mind?"

"No," I repeat. "Why?"

"Oh, I don't know, but you've been with your friend Sarah for a long time, and you're almost off to college," she answers. "I think it's time you... get someone and have a relationship with them."

"A relationship, as in..."

"A girlfriend. Or whoever. I heard what Rain said."

"I'm not gay. I don't want a girlfriend anyway," I reply quickly.

My mom's face drops, but she looks like she's trying to keep her patience. "Okay. I'll give you some time to think about it."

It's not her decision if I want a girlfriend or not. My mom's making it sound like I have no choice and I have to do it.

At math class, I passed Sarah a note under the desk.

I hate my sister. I just want to kill her.

She looked at it and then up at me. She wrote back:

I doubt you want to actually kill her.

She keeps nagging me about one thing I said about a boy from middle school, and she won't drop it. Then this morning, my mom told me I have to get a girlfriend.

I fold up the paper and reach out my hand to pass it, but the note falls out of my hand to the floor. As I reach out to grab the paper, someone else takes it. Sarah and I look up to who the person is, and it's not the teacher like who I thought it was. The teacher was out of the classroom to get something. It was Todd, not a very bright short kid in my class. He's your stereotypical nerd, glasses, braces, freckles. (Not saying everyone with those are nerds.) He's very gullible, and he believed that I had a cat when I told him I did (even though I didn't).

"Hey, Todd, can I have that paper?" I ask, reaching out to take it.

"Why?" he says, flecks of spit flying from his mouth. He pulls it back, out of my reach "It's not like you need it to live."

"Well, it has something personal on it so—"

"Ooo, what's this?" Todd said while opening the paper.

"No, wait! It has..." I trail off, knowing that it's hopeless. I do try to grab it out of his hand, though.

After reading the paper, he looks at me, surprised. "You want to kill your sister?"

"I wasn't being seri—"

"Earnest wants to kill his sister!" Todd shouts so the whole room could hear, cutting me off. I look around the room.

My classmates turn around or look behind themselves right to the back where we're sitting. They're silent.

"What?" one of them asks.

I look at Todd and mouth, Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.

"Earnest wrote that he wants to kill his sister.

"It's not what it sounds like!" I say, defending myself. I turn to Sarah for support, but she's just like everyone else.

"It is too! He wrote it right here!" Todd said.

"Shut up!" I shout, standing up. "Just shut up!"

Everybody's eyes widen because they've never heard me shout before. I was just that quiet, shy classmate who always sat in the back of the classroom. Sarah looks surprised too, and I feel like crying. I feel my eyes watering up, and I look down at the floor, walking to the door of the classroom. Getting embarrassed in front of everyone is already bad enough, but crying in front of everyone is even worse. I walk into the bathroom right to a stall and slam the door shut.

I lean up against the door. "Fuck," I say quietly, banging on the stall door. The sound echoes throughout the bathroom.

I hate him. Todd's always the rumor spreader since he makes his reactions and explanations so realistic. "Why does he have to do this?" I say. "It's not fair. I can't say one bad thing about my sister without being caught for it."

I hear the door to the bathroom open, and I quickly lock the stall door. It doesn't matter who it is. But it can't be Sarah.

"Earnest, are you okay?"

I'm not sure who this is, but I don't respond.

"Sarah sent me to get you."

I wipe my eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'm one of Sarah's friends. I don't think you know me, though," the person answered.

"No, I don't. Why should I trust you?"

"Sarah wanted me to say that she's sorry she didn't help you in class."

I'm speechless after hearing this.

"That's all she wanted me to do," he replied, walking outside again.

Not even my own friend stood up for me. How am I supposed to trust anyone now, if my closest friend didn't help me. I'm barely even seen by anyone, but now everyone will see what just happened. I think everything is ruined.