Renata was never a huge fan of television. There was a certain mind-numbing quality about it that deterred her. She hated the idea of being distracted from the big picture, especially by insignificant and worthless things like cooking competitions and twice remade historical films. If she felt a need for entertainment, which wasn’t often to begin with, she would rather turn to a mystery novel. At least then she was still using her mind.
It was something she hoped would rub off on her cousin over the years, especially with them living together. But the childlike girl was far from a reader, and the television seemed to be the only thing to hold her short attention span. However, there were those few occasions when she was engulfed in some gossip magazine. It wasn’t much better, but Renata considered it progress.
“No way! No way! No way! Ren, you’ll never guess which villain is having a secret affair with a hero!”
Or at least she would consider it progress if Juliet was reading quietly to herself and not screeching every five seconds. Sighing, Renata looked up from her book. Her cousin was laying upside down on the couch across from her with the magazine pressed against her face. “Juliet, do you mind? I’m trying to read something of substance.”
As if she hadn’t heard a word, Juliet continued, “It’s Wildfire! Can you believe that? A high tier villain like her caught in such a scandal! Apparently, she’s been getting a lot of late-night jail visits from Mercury Mask…”
“One day I’ll trace the family tree and find proof that we’re not related. That will be a glorious day.” With that, Renata turned her attention back to her own reading material. However, she was only able to get a few sentences in before she was interrupted again.
“Oh! They did a special interview on that new villain—the one that just kidnapped the Mayor’s son. His name is Agent-Agent.”
No response.
“He was voted number three on the Top Ten Up-and-Coming Villains list.”
No response.
“Ren, he’s so cute! You have to see!” Suddenly, Juliet threw her legs over her head and rolled backward off the couch. In one fluid motion, she landed right side up on her feet and turned to Renata. Completely oblivious to the fact that she was reading, she walked over and shoved the magazine in her face. “He’s good looking, right?”
“Trying to read.”
“Come on, Ren. How else can we bond, if not over cute guys?”
“Bold of you to assume I wanted to bond in the first place.”
When Juliet let out an exaggerated sigh, Renata rolled her eyes and glanced at the full body picture of the man. “This wouldn’t happen to be the same kidnapping that resulted in the Mayor’s son escaping an hour in, would it?”
“Yeah. He said he made a few mistakes in the interview.”
“The mistake was thinking he had the ability to pull that off in the first place. He had no experience under his belt and his power wasn’t conducive to a crime like that in the slightest.” She shook her head and pushed the magazine away. “If I were there, I would’ve turned him in myself.”
“But you have to admit his confidence is attractive. With bold acts like that, he’s bound to make a name for himself.”
“Yes, a stupid name. Although, I don’t know if it gets much stupider than ‘Agent-Agent’.”
“It’s not the worst name we’ve heard.”
“No, but not far off either. Now that’d be a more appropriate list to put him on: Villains with the Dumbest Names. He’d be right behind ‘Evil Guy’ and ‘Explodey’.”
Juliet couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. “Did you at least think he was handsome?”
“Not particularly.”
“Did you really look?”
“No.” She flipped to the next page of her book and started reading again. “He lost the privilege of my opinion when he chose his villain name. If he didn’t take himself seriously, why should I?”
Closing the magazine completely, Juliet sat back down on the couch. “You know, this is supposed to be fun. Why can’t you ever cooperate?”
“Because I have better things to do than rate men from Bad People magazine and so do you. I say the same thing to you every single day: you're a tier four villain—act like it. Now if you’ll excuse me…” She started to focus on her book again, but right at that moment, her phone rang. She wondered why the universe conspired against her when all she wanted to do was read her novel. Not bothering to look at the name, she answered. “Hello?”
“Hello, can I speak to Lady M?”
“Speaking.”
“Lady M, I’m calling from the Villain Love Corporation to let you know that you’ve been selected to be the next bachelorette on Finding Mr. Wrong. Congratulations!”
“Excuse me?”
“Filming will start at the beginning of next week. A limo will arrive at five in the morning to pick you up and bring you to the set. You’ll have a quick meeting with Mr. Ogden, we’ll get you acclimated with everything, do make-up and introduce you to the men. Any questions?”
Renata hung up. She started to dismiss it as a prank or mistake, and go back to her book, but a thought in the back of her mind told her it was more than that. She looked at her cousin, who’d grabbed the remote and turned the television on.
“Juliet?”
“Hmm?”
“I just got a call from the Villain Love Corporation. They said I was chosen to be the next bachelorette on Finding Mr. Wrong.”
Her eyes got big. “Seriously? They chose you? That’s so cool!”
“I guess I’m wondering how they chose me for something I didn’t apply to. Yes, how did they choose me to be on an idiotic dating show that I expressed zero interest in—the same idiotic dating show that you watch faithfully?”
Juliet shrugged nervously. “I don’t know, but don’t you think you’re focusing on the wrong part? We should be celebrating!”
She stared at her blankly. “What did you do?”
“Why do you assume I’ve done something?”
“Aside from the obvious? As much as it pains me to say it, I know you. You are a creature of action and impulse. You burn down the city and then remember you lived there too.”
She folded her arms across her chest and let out a huff. “You’ll never let me live that down, will you? It was one time.”
“Either come clean on your own or I’ll make you.”
Juliet hesitated and looked away. “I may or may not have entered you in to be the next bachelorette a few weeks ago. But only because it's been so long since I last saw you go on a date and I figured this was a good opportunity for you to meet someone new.”
Renata stared at her for a long moment before letting out a sigh. “You're a piece of work, Juliet.”
“Are you mad?”
“I'd have to expect more from you to begin with for this to upset me. But as it stands, you've done exactly what I would've expected.”
“Then…does that mean you’ll do it?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“There isn’t enough time in the day or breath in my body to list all the reasons why I would never go on a show like that.”
“But this will be good for you!”
Losing interest in the conversation, Renata turned back to her book. “You’ll call and tell them you made a mistake.”
“Come on, Ren.”
No response.
“You have to at least give it a chance.”
No response.
“You know I’m just going to bug you about this until you agree, right?”
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